Giving is destroying
by Scorpiokagamine
Summary: Set in the original world of Shingeki no kyojin, this story is about the fragile love between Eren and Levi, the biggest war that humanity's ever seen, and the possible end of the world, forever... rated m for future chapters
1. Chapter 1

Giving is destroying.

Foreword:

_**Author's note's: hola, hello, konichiwa, nice to meet you. Welcome to the mind of Scorpiokagamine and their fanfictions. I guess I should explain a bit.**_

_**This is a fanfiction that takes place in the shinkgeki no kyojin world. It's sort of a spin-off of the original but not with a whole new cast of characters. It more of a…alternate one. So an AU.**_

_**In this fanfiction, the pairings will be Levi x Eren (Levi toping always-reasons will be explain as the story goes on), Irwin x Armin, Ymir x Christa, Jean x Marco (Jean topping cause I feel bad for him), Connor x Sasha, Reiner x Bertholdt ( berholdt topping) and Annie x OC.**_

_**The beginning was all Irwin reading the bible. But since this fanfiction's world takes place millennia's after humanity(our humanity) fell it's not all correct. The person who wrote this forbidden piece of knowledge (since knowledge of any other religion and the outside world id forbidden) will be surprising and revealed near the end.**_

_**I will often have deleted scenes at the end since they were crucial at the time but pointless to the story or I couldn't find a place for them and couldn't find it in my heart to erase them. They will often have major clues or just be absolutely pointless so pay attention :]**_

_**also, MAJOR WARNING: Long slow ass build to sexual relations between Eren and Levi( so just sit back and reeelax)**_

_**Well, that's it for now so please enjoy this journey with me. I hope you like this story.**_

_**I'd like to thank the author of Shingeki no kyojin for publishing his work. I'd also like to thank my brother for pausing the show all the time and offering this idea to me.**_

_**I'd like to dedicate this fanfiction to my twin, my Princess.**_

_**If you're reading this now well hello now you know you were right I am Scorpiokagamine.**_


	2. Chapter 2

-chapter 1:

_Author's note:*Vorebend: vor-ar-nd; means Eve_

* * *

_-Prologue-_

_In the beginning, there was a word, and the word became God._

_Why?_

_Because God knew._

_God knew 'word' was the most important thing. He knew word was always with man; on his tongue, on his lips, on his skin, on paper, from his hand, from his touch and from his heart. Word was powerful to man. It conveyed all his hearts' desires to others. It spoke his commands, his judgments. God knew this. So the word became God._

_God created the world in six days. Like a small child, he played with shapes and figures until they were just right. Or maybe he was the baker, spilling ingredients into a bowl and stirring it round with a spoon before pouring it into a pan and baking it._

_He made creatures of ebullience and plants of blithe effortlessly. He crafted the moon to light the way in the dark and sunlight to warm that which he made, the two rose and fell in perfect harmony, never breaking the rules of which God gave them. God took a step back and nodded. He knew this all to be good. He created creatures of sea and sky, of earth and wind. He knew them as well to be good._

_Once God had finished his work, he rested, and declared that the seventh day be known as a day of rest. He walked upon the world he had created and saw all. He breathed in air and released the 4 winds that stroked the flowers, making them release a most enticing smell. He knew this to be good and pure. So he constructed a garden. A special garden, in which flowers and trees with fruits and shrubs and grasses could grow and never be trampled on by the many walks of life. And in this garden, he planted trees of magical properties._

_It wasn't long before God became slightly bored with the world he created. So he decided to craft a being in his image, from his skin. So God tore from his own body a rib and covered it with earth. He took its face and placed the sun, and the sky within its eyes. He took the dark night and crafted his hair. He then crafted the rest with a shape much like his own and kissed its cheeks, its eyes, before breathing life into its lips._

'_You are Adam. And you are Man." God said. Adam blinked and nodded his head. "You are my child, and as my child you have domain over everything I have created." And from the wilderness stepped forth one of each kind of animal God created. Adam placed his hand on each of them as he named them while God stood beside him, blessing each in turn. The two then became the most perfect combination, the father doting on the son, the son respecting and worshiping the father. God never question his child's faith, and Adam never questioned his father._

_So it took a while until God released that Adam was not like him. Adam was not a God; he was man. So he was different. God needed no partner other than his creations, but Adam, oh, Adam, son of God. Adam needed a partner. A partner that was not afraid to make decisions when he couldn't. A partner who was sweet and kind and just and innocent when Adam was bitter and cruel and unfair and so very sinful. He needed someone who stood by him, not just God, with his ghostly whispering presence. A solid being. Someone he could touch. Could smell and kiss and taste tenderly but as well as bite and devour and own completely._

_It wasn't that Adam was losing his faith in God. He had never asked God for this. He'd never thought to ask him this simple yet dangerous request. But as he watched all of God's other creations mate and have children his heart trembled from loneliness that not even God could fill. Not even word could fill the void within Adam._

_God noticed all of this. He saw this. And he knew he had to do once again that which he said he would stop._

_So that night, with the light that God had placed high in the dark glittering sky, God began again. From a mixture of dust and water he made a mold. It had tan skin, just like Adam. But then God placed a trace of light within and the skin glowed with a seemingly holy glow. His hands slipped and slid over the shape he formed, imagining Adam's small and weak hands on it and changing it around. He molded wide hips and a graceful torso. Thick shapely legs with small feet touched the ground. And often as God crafted the toes on the feet would wiggle with excitement._

_For the face, he placed the moon and formed the eyes from stars. The lips were shaped from rose petals, full and soft and pink. The cheeks were filled with deep pink light from the morning dawn. The ears were seashells that whispered tales and promised of the sea to all who would listen. It was a beautiful creation, but when God stepped back something was wrong._

_It was too mysterious. Too different. It bore almost no resemblance to Adam, to any of his creations. This, as God thought, was perfect. It was so beautiful, so God decided to do what he didn't do to Adam; he created its mind._

_In it, he placed curiosity broader than Adam's, and understanding deeper than the deepest ocean. He placed loving care and fragile trust in its heart. Loyalty was there too, small and tiny but so very strong. And once he stepped back he decided to give something else to this creation that he treasured more than all except Adam. He gave it his own power; the power to create. But he set limitations for he did not want another God. He made it so the beginning of creation laid on Adam's shoulders, like atlas held the weight of the entire world._

_But he made sure that the actual steps to creation rested on this creations' shoulders. He made it feel protective and stubborn and wise when it came to creation. But he gave it fear and hesitation too, for those things go hand in hand._

_And for a final step, God placed a rib taken from Adam's side and placed it in the creation. He placed his hands on its face and kissed its starry eyes, its rosy cheeks, and its fragile forehead and said,_

"_You are Eve, my sweet daughter Eve. And you are Woman, not because you were made second to man, but because you were made as his equal." Eve smiled shyly and God hugged her close. "You are my child as well. It is your duty to care for my children when I am not here, to love and punish as you see fit. I have given you domain over that which Adam does not." He let go of her and ran his hand over her head, using rivers to form hair that fell past her hips in waves. It shone softly here in there, like all the fish were inhabited within. "Your place in the house of a man is to fill all of them, and when you are gone, impossible to fill. That is you own uniqueness. Your own special power which not I, not man, but you, and you alone, have granted."_

_Eve nodded, and God took the musical whispers of crickets and the quiet falling of water sounds and placed them in her throat. When she spoke, it was too quiet. So God put the sounds of angry stampedes, of rolling thunder, within as well. And at last, when she spoke, it was perfect._

"_Father," she said, hearing her voice and smiling and laughing gaily. "Father, I just want to thank you so much." She took his ghostly hand in hers and pressed her lips to its surface. "Father, I love you. Thank you for creating me." And she smiled again. And God swore he saw the sunrise and sunset within its mysterious grace._

_He remembered when he first created Adam. Adam, too dense, had not done as Eve had just done. It took Adam a long while to figure out what had happened, and he had done this as well. Maybe it was the understanding that God had placed in her. Maybe it was the devotion deep within._

_When God brought Eve to Adam, the Adam had blushed, and Eve had smiled the smile of sunrises and sunsets. Her eyes twinkled with the star God had placed there. Adam's sky eyes were filled with clouds and his face burned hotly like the sun._

_The two had many problems, yes, but eventually they were married and joined; one created from day, one from night. They were being created as equals and completed each other's weaknesses and strengths. They became the second perfect union. And they thanked God for it. However, not all good things lasted, for-_

"Irwin!"

The blonde boy jumped, slamming the book closed and throwing it into the fire quickly, not even thinking. He turned to face his older brother's face poking out from the doorway. "Yes?" he squeaked out.

"Dinner."

"Oh." Irwin said, and then nodded in acknowledgement. His brother disappeared from the door way and Irwin turned back to the fire, disappointment filling his eyes. His eyes hungrily read the last word writing clearly before leaving the room and running to get food. He _was_ a growing boy.

But he still shivered over the word "Lucifer." As he sat down.

_A smile. A slow baring of the teeth. Then, with black hair gracing a pale face,_

"_Soon…"_

_Quiet laughter._

* * *

_A world in which Titans exist, teenage Levi and young Eren know each other. But as the war becomes more gruesome, Levi leaves to join the fight for humanity and leaves Eren behind. With a strict but caring father, and overbearing mother, and an adopted sister, it seemed the world had given Eren all the luck it held…_

_A tale of love, death, and giving._

With so much chaos going on in Levi's world, there were few things Levi was sure of:

1)The sky was an azure blue (not the sky blue adults made children believe)

2)The sun was really bright in the morning

3)Germs and dirty things were gross

4)Dirt was horrible

5)His mother loved him

6)He was the first-born son in a rich family (but since he was the illegitimate son he couldn't say he was)

7)He wanted to join the scouting legion

8)He was short for his age

9)He should really drink more milk

10)The child in his arms was the most precious thing in his life.

It wasn't the first time he'd held a child. His mother was a midwife, and he'd seen his share of pregnancy and birth to know what goes on in the bedroom. He had seen child after child, daughter after daughter, son after son, happy parents and angry parents and sad ones. He could tell you that no child he had ever seen was more beautiful nor more precious than that of this one.

"We're still deciding on a name, but" Carla said as she placed a patch of cookies Levi's mother Vorebend* had given her on the counter. The babe gave Levi the most charming smile he'd seen, and almost immediately

"-Eren." Levi whispered quietly. "Eren, you truly are precious." He bounced the child in his arms like he had seen his mother do before. The child-Eren- giggled and reached his tiny chubby hands to Levi's hair.

The mothers, however, stared at him. Vorebend looked at Carla, who was mouthing the word 'Eren." Then, instead of correcting Levi, she smiled. "Eren. I like it." She nodded and reached to give Levi a half hug. 'Thank you. You saved me trouble." She whispered. Levi, startled, brushed off her thanks and went back to looking at his precious Eren.

"Are you sure, Carla? I mean, he just a child and-" Vorebend started to apologize when Carla stopped her with a hand. "Vorebend, you know I wouldn't hesitate to discipline a child, even if he was a child of the king." She looked back to Levi, huddled over in the farthest corner so he could privately coo over Eren. She turned back and smiled. "Grisha would like the name too."

"What would Grisha like?" said person walked in right then. Carla smiles like she was 16 again and ran over to him. "I think Grisha would like a kiss." She said childishly, her lips puckered. Grisha kissed her chastely and removed his hat. 'Hello, Vorebend." He says, though his eyes are on his wife.

Vorebend nods at him before heading over to Levi and observing the child.

Grisha, however, observed his wife's happy smile he had not seen in a long while.

"What is it that makes you smile so?" he questions, curious. "Or should it be who instead of what and if so I get to kill him."

Carla laughed and wrapped her arms around her dear husband and sighs. "It more of, I've found a name for our child." She points to the others. "Well, more of Levi found the name."

"Oh? Then tell me, what is his name." it better not be something cheesy like Steve or Conner or Marcus. If so, he was kidnapping his child and running.

"It's Eren." Carla said cheerfully, letting go of her husband and heading towards her babe. He followed after her, kneeling over the two women to look at Levi and Eren. "So I take it that you named my son?" Grisha said somberly. Levi, brave Levi, just looked at him defiantly and said, "Yes sir."

_Well, at least he's not disrespectful_, Grisha thought. _And he did pick a good name. "_Eren." He whispers softly, testing it out.

Immediately, the babe looked up at his father with intelligence. His small hand was lost in Levi's hair in a way that suggested familiarity, though they had just met. And Levi was subtly, unknowingly, nuzzling Eren, a faint possessive sound on his tongue.

Grisha's eyes widened, and he knew.

He knew what was happening.

He saw what was to pass.

_Like the last time._

He rose, and, not to frighten the girls, smiled and agreed with the name. Once their attentions were reverted back to the children, he all but ran to the window and saw her.

He saw the girl, with short brown hair that didn't pass her ears and her blonde bangs that feel over her right eye. He saw her brown skin faintly glowing in the afternoon sunlight, saw her turn her cerulean blue gaze to him.

He saw her blinding white smile. He saw her mouth a sentence and then disappears in a blink. His hands shook on the window pane as he repeated the words in his head.

"_It shall come to pass, Grisha. There's no avoiding it like last time."_

* * *

(That night)

_It has to be done. _He told himself. _It has to be. Otherwise…_

He poked his head through the small crack in the doorway to Eren's new room. Levi was holding him in his arms, both fast asleep. Levi had asked if he could stay over that night and he had quickly agreed. _Better now than later._

He sent a quick prayer to anyone listening and watching and stepped forward, the door silent.

He stepped into the room on cat's feet. He left the door open in case of a quick escape. Plus, Carla was fast asleep, and she slept like a log.

He crept towards the bed, leaning over the children. In his hands he held two empty shots, their glass of an orange colour. He first took Levi's arm, since he could do this to Eren any other time. But Levi wasn't always going to be here, and he was growing up. So Grisha slid the needle into Levi's skin and started to withdraw blood. But when Eren shifted, making Levi move a little, he removed the needle immediately. He hadn't gotten all, but he had gotten enough. Levi looked paler now, some of his glow gone.

He turned to Eren now and this time he succeeded in withdrawing the right amount of blood. He left then, just as he came. He disappeared in the basement and placed the needles gently in a box. He'd have to destroy them-

No. that's what happened last time. He'd have to keep them safe, until Eren came of age.

He just hoped they'd all be dead before then.

* * *

(Deleted scenes)

(In Eren's room, after the kitchen scene)

"Alone at last, Eren." Levi said quietly, watching as Eren sucked on his finger. Passively, Levi wondered when the irritation would come. He hated it when newborns did this to him on his mother's check-ups. But since he was in the presence of mothers, he remained quiet. But at this moment, all he felt was joy.

Levi paused then. Quietly taking in the joy he was feeling.

He didn't feel like jumping up and down and screaming. But he did feel like smiling a cat's smile. Like, when you give then milk and the just-

Whatever. He felt like it, so he did.

"Aren't you cute?" Levi murmured. Eren let go of his finger and giggled, then yawned. Levi resisted gawking over how cute _that_ alone was.

"Tired, huh?" Eren's eye's drooped, but he kept them open. Levi knew he was fighting sleep to look at him. He was pretty sure that's what he would be doing if their situations were reverse. "Want me to talk then?"

If the babe understood, he made no sign of it. He returned to sucking on Eren's finger. "Well, today, I met someone new. At first he looked weird, but the moment his mother placed him in my arms I knew he was precious." Levi glanced over at the rocking chair and climbed up it. He was too short, so he had to hold Eren in one arm to get up. Bu the held the child so carefully that Eren never felt a jolt. Once they were seated Levi wrapped his arms around Eren again.

"There, that's better." Levi muttered. He let Eren have his fingers again and continued his story.

The two boys' mothers' peeked through the crack in the door as Levi told his tale. Their heads were one on top of the other, Carla on top of Vorebend. They looked at each together and shared a smile before closing the door and creeping down the stairs to the kitchen.

But Grisha leaned out from the bedroom hallway, unsmiling, staring across the hall at the closed door. His gaze was determined, like a warriors gaze before an adventure or a battle. Or a servants gaze as he woke each morning. But Grisha's gaze was also filled with fear and sadness.

"…It must be done." He said, walking steadily down the hall to the basement.

* * *

"Momma." Levi said loudly as he pulled her skirts.

"Yes, Dear?" she responded, knowing, looking down at him.

"Is it all right if I stay over here tonight?" he sent puppy dog eyes up at her.

"Of course. Bu I think you should be asking Carla that." Levi turned to look at Carla and asked again. She smiled and nodded.

* * *

_**Author's note's: when Levi first Eren he was 5. Next chapter we'll be going quickly though their lives, skipping over the years.**_

_**Well, that's it for now so please enjoy this journey with me. I hope you like this story.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/n: Ah, yes, thank you, spell check, for changing "'And no more buts'" to "'And now more buts'." you have succeed in brightening my day further.**_

* * *

_(3 years later)_

"What are you doing, Kid?"

Eren jumped, dropping the pail of water he had dragged down the 3 mile trek from the river to his home. He pouted up at his babysitter and friend. "Levi, you made me drop it. Now how am I going to-to-" he struggled to come up with the right word.

"I think what you were trying to say is 'I was being a brat, oh-great-Levi, oh, forgive me for my incompetence.'"

'NO! That's not what I'm trying to say at all!" Eren squeaked out.

"Uh huh. Keep telling yourself that."

Eren pouted again, wrapping his arms around himself in a fit. "You're mean!" he stuck his tongue out at him.

"You better put that away unless you want me to bite it."

The tongue disappeared again. Eren knew that he was true on his threat. He did do it once.

"Now, tell me why you woke up so early to get a pail of water."

"Well…" Eren said slowly. "Mama was complaining more than usually that her back hurt and usually its right after she fetches water, so I thought-"

"You thought you should get it for her for once."

Eren's face broke into a smile. "Yep!"

"Could you, perhaps, tell me what happens after you mother complains about her back pain?"

"Well, dad comes over and ma-mas-masausage-"

"Massages." Levi supplied.

"Yeah! And then mom sighs softly and she stops complaining."

"Hmm…" Levi hummed thoughtfully. He grabbed the bucket. "Go home, brat. I'll bring the bucket."

"But…"

"With water." Levi interjected. "And no more 'buts.' I won't hear it. I'll go and fill it and be back before you, and you can carry it in."

"Okay!" young Eren smiled brightly, before heading down the path to his home. Levi watched him leave, sighing softly.

"Kid, you have a lot to learn." He said mid-sigh.

* * *

_-(1 year later)-_

"Hey Levi…"

Oh, no. he knew that tone of voice from a mile away. Levi turned and looked down at Eren. "What do you want, Brat?" he said coolly. But his eyes were watching the boy cautiously.

"Can I have ice cream?'

Ah. Levi sighed. "Eren, you know that ice cream is meant to be saved for a holiday."

"…isn't today a holiday?"

"No." Levi looked down at him again in curiosity. "What holiday could we be possibly spending today?"

"Levi Day!"

"…what."

"You know, the day where I get to spend it with Levi. Levi Day!"

"…we've only been together for an hour though." an hour of wondering about the town market, only to come back to Eren's home.

"So! That's still a part of the day, and it counts!"

"…whatever."

But Eren could tell that, deep down, Levi was happy. Wait, wasn't there a better word for what Levi looked like he was feeling? Hmm…

Eren sent his gaze skyward, searching for the right word. Unbeknownst to him, Levi was watching in amusement as Eren thought.

"Don't think so hard, or you might actually break something." Levi teased.

Eren gasped, shocked out of his thoughts and reaching over to slap at Levi. But the older boy was too quick for him, and he only ended up falling into the dirt. This made the other boy laugh even harder.

But Eren didn't mind. He liked listening to Levi's quiet laughter, Levi's soft chuckle. Even if this was the cost, he was happy to hear the soft bells of Levi's amusement.

"Alright, brat. Get up so we can get you your ice cream." Hands reached to soft grab Eren's arms and he was lifted up easily. Levi looked on in amusement as Eren squealed in delight, waving his arms about in joy. He was pretty sure that, if they were still in town, many other adults would get confused and take this as a sign of a tantrum. But he knew, through a lot of hard lessons, that this was how Eren expressed himself.

Eren definitely wasn't one for words. Sure, he could talk up a storm, but when it came to emotions, he was stooped. Thankfully, Eren found out a way to express what he felt through the arts; when he sang, he was feeling a strong emotion. When he painted, the feeling was subtle. When he just wanted to express his feelings at the moment, he would reach over either hold you close, play with your hair, or hold your hand.

The whole waving the arms thing? That just meant he was excited.

He dropped Eren as soon as he could before heading down to the cellar. He sent a quick glance over at the door to the doctors' workplace, but turned away immediately as if he had been burned. The doctor had said, the moment he first came to the house, that the basement was off-limits. No one, and he repeated sternly, no one was to be allowed in there. Levi had saluted him solemnly and swore to never go in there without permission. The doctor had nodded, and disappeared into the basement workplace without a single word of good-bye. The door was shut quietly in Levi's face.

But not before he caught a glimpse of something that made his skin go pale and chased out any thoughts of curiosity.

Even now, Levi shivered as he passed by it again, loaded with a bowl of ice cream. He tried to beat down on the relief he felt in closing the cellar door, a barrier between whatever was down there.

"Ice cream ice cream!" Eren shouted, reaching for the bowl.

"Yeah, yeah. Go sit down before I drop it."

Eren rushed over to the table quickly and almost slipped out of his seat in excitement.

Levi smirked, and handed over the ice cream to the child's greedy hands.

'Never change, Eren.' Levi thought as he watched in disgust as Eren slurped up the ice cream. 'Never change.'

The smile Eren shot at him from across the table seemed to answer him.

* * *

_-(1 year later)-_

"What do you mean, you're leaving?" Eren demanded.

Levi sighed. "It's not like I want to, Brat." He placed a clean dish to dry on a towel and picked up another, his back to Eren. He missed the pain the child's eyes.

His father was the one who told him to do it. Said he was of that age, and if he didn't take up the family business he'd be drafted. And since Levi shuddered at the thought of inheriting such business that his father runs, he took the drafting instead.

It had always been his dream to join humanity's side in the war. Not like there's another other side you could take. But what he didn't expect was the…sharp grief he felt in leaving behind his Brat. Eren had become something…precious to him, in the years they had known each other. And when the boy had run into the house after discovering what Levi had hidden from him for 6 months, his heart had dropped.

Eren, he thought, still needed him.

"Then why are you going?" Eren whined. His eyes gave Levi a cold pout. Or a glare. It was the kind of look that, whenever Levi saw it, it made him shiver as he thought about how'd this pout/glare would look when he was older.

The kid could melt ice cream Mountains with it when he grew up.

But for now, it was a cold pout. And actually it was quite cute, if you didn't pay a lot of attention to his eyes.

"Why. Are. You. Leaving?" Eren repeated when Levi still didn't answer. Levi turned and crossed his arms as he looked down at the boy. "Look, Brat. The war's getting worse and the army needs-"

"But I need you!" Eren protested. He raced forward to wrap his tiny arms around the older boy's waist. "Don't go!" he cried as he buried his head into Levi. Levi sighed, and reached a hand into the child's hair to pull him off.

"Listen brat I don't want to-"

"Then don't!"

"-but I have to. Humanity needs more soldiers-"

"But I need you." Eren whined softly. Levi gasped and looked down at the boy. Eren wasn't looking at him, though. He stared off to the distance as he spoke, his cheek pressed against Levi's body. "Who'd let me get away with punching school bullies? Who'd give me ice cream as a reward when I've done something good? Who'd hug me close when I have nightmares and Mother's away? Who'd tuck me into bed as well?"

"And," Eren said even more quietly. "Who'd be my friend?"

Eren hugged Levi's leg tighter, as if as soon he'd let go Levi would walk away. His tiny 5 year old fingers shook through the cloth of Levi's pants, and Levi took in the child's trembling form.

Levi's eyes softened.

He dropped down into a crouch so he could look into Eren's face. He winced when he saw the hot tears and wiped them away with a napkin. "Look at the mess you're making, Brat." He said affectionately, softly.

"I-it's your fault, L-Levi…" Eren whined pitifully. Levi flinched again at his voice.

"I know, I know. I'll take responsibility." He wrapped his arms around the younger and his fingers got lost in the boys' hair as he soothed the child.

"w-what does…r-responsibly mean-n?" Eren sobbed. Levi scoffed. The brat was always curious, no matter the time or place. "It means I recognize my fault and want to fix it."

"…what does recognize mean?"

"it means 'I know' or 'I see'."

Eren pulled back, but Levi kept his arms loosely around his waist. His fingers were now stroking Eren's cheeks, but the boy didn't mind. In fact, he leaned into Levi's hands. "So, you're saying you see your fault?" his brow furrowed. "Why couldn't you just say that?"

Levi sighed. "You've still a lot to learn, boy.

"…but you'll teach me, right?" Eren smiled sheepishly.

Levi smirked. "I'll teach you everything I know."

The two smiled, and Levi's eyes watched Eren with a hidden emotion behind them.

* * *

A light shone brightly that night. It glimmered brightly over Eren's hometown, gracefully stroking window panes and thresholds with its light. Some adults, not drunk or intoxicated or asleep, looked up in confusion. They blinked at the white light, covering their eyes as they tried to figure it out. But it was gone before they could fully see it. So they blinked a few times, shrugged, and returned to whatever they were doing.

But in the distance, beyond Wall Maria, a person stepped out from the wall made by the light. Quickly they turned to close the wall before they captured too much attention. They sighed in relief as it disappeared before turning back to face the wall.

"…it's really big." They murmured. They pulled up their long black cloak to cover their face in shadows, but a tuff of blonde bangs dangled out. But the person didn't notice or care as they ran swiftly towards the walls. A few titans' eyes were caught by the figure, and they started to turn from trying to climb the wall to grabbing the figure. One reached out a meaty hand to grab the figure running straight towards them.

But the figure simply jumped onto the titans' hand and ran up their arm. Another titans' mouth opened and they tried to bite the figure, but they were too fast, and the titan simply resulted in biting another titan's arm.

The figure then turned to jump on a titan's head before jumping on the other titan's nose, then its head, then onto the wall. And as if they were casually taking a jog, they ran straight up Wall Maria's exterior. The titan's jump to reach for the figure, but they out ran their hands and made it to the top. The figure jumped up and over the wall to land on its platform. Glancing down, the person smirked at the titan's below before jumping off of the other edge, into the district.

They landed softly, and on their feet. They bounced a few steps, but the figure made it. Alive.

Walking into the town, the figure muttered quietly under their breath. When they bumped into someone else, they bowed, and then asked. "Excuse me but…what year is it again? I seem to have lost my wits." The figure's voice sounded very intoxicated, just as they had hoped, and they waited patiently as the man responded.

"Why, its 841."

"I see. Thank you!" and like that the figure was gone, disappearing into the shadows.

"Strange." The man said, rubbing the back of his neck as he stared at the place where the person had been. "Oh well." He shrugged and returned back inside the shack he had walked out of to continue in a poker game with his friends.

And he never thought of the encounter again.

The figure stopped when they reached the place where the shadows gathered most and removed their hood. They ran their fingers through their blonde bangs, brushing through the surrounding brown hair around them.

"Sister…I made it." The figure whispered, smiling.

* * *

_-(The next day)-_

"Hey Levi!" Eren called, pointing into the crowd at the market. "What are they doing?"

Levi stood on the tips of his toes, but he couldn't see. "What? What are you pointing at?" He looked back down to Eren. Eren's eyes narrowed as he tried to get a better look as well, only to result in falling onto the ground.

Levi scouted a box against a wall. "Come here, brat, and stop playing around." Eren smiled sheepishly and stood to dust himself off before following after the older boy. He reached a hand up to Levi when he got on the box, and the older of the two lifted him up on onto his shoulders. Both had a better view of what was going on.

A crowd had gathered in the market place around a couple. The man was down on one knee, and he was offering a box with a small stone to a blushing woman. Her mother (?) stood beside her and smiled brightly.

"I know that we've had our ups and downs," the man said, "and most of the time, you've had to punch me."

The crowd chuckled. The woman blushed harder.

"But I swear to you, that I will always make you happy. And I'll always be with you, no matter what happens. If you'll have me. " the man lowered his head, waiting for her answer.

The woman paused, glancing over to her mother, before nodding and softly whispering,

"…Yes."

The man looked up in shock, staring as she nodded. Then he let out a loud whoop and grabbed her, spinning them around and around countless times before settling her down on her shaking feet. He kept his arms around her and he shouted, "She said yes!"

The man's friends came over to congratulate him, but not before clapping at the passionate kiss he gave to his new fiancé.

"What are they doing?" Eren asked again as Levi set him down onto the floor.

"Well, he proposed to her, and she said yes." Levi answered as he brushed off dust and dirty that Eren missed. God, he hated dirt.

"Propose?"

"It means that he's basically asking her to be faithful to him; to never love another like she loves him, never seek another's love. And promises to do the same." Levi said passively, not noticing how the words were affecting the boy.

"…what was that stone he gave her?"

"Ring, Eren, it was a ring-"

"Was what the ring he gave her?"

Levi sighed at the boy's persistence. "Not here, Eren. Let's go back home."

"But- the groceries-"

"I'll get them tomorrow. There are too many people here anyways."

He grabbed Eren's arm as he pulled him along, heading back to the house. But of course the trek back home wasn't easy. Nothing was ever easy with Eren.

"Hey, Ma'am! You dropped this!" Eren shouted as he picked up something shiny. It felt circular in his hand as he held it up for the person to see.

The person turned around to fix her cerulean blue eyes on the boy. The sunlight reflected off of her eyes, making them seem lighter as she took in the object the boy held. She approached the pair with a smile. Eren stared at her brown skin in wonder.

"Ah, it seems I have." She smiled at Eren as her hand came to hold his in a gentle, loving touch. Levi bristled at the sight of her hand on Eren's, but he kept quiet. Still, he clenched onto Eren's hand a little tighter.

"I thank you, kind young man." She said affectionately. Eren puffed up his chest a little at that. "Hey, did you hear that, Levi? She said 'young man'. "

"Yeah, yeah, Brat, now give her the ring and let's go."

Eren pouted, but he handed the ring to the girl anyway. But she shook her head and put it back into Eren's palm. "You keep it, young man. But only after I tell you something interesting about it."

"Really? Like what?" Eren inquired.

"Well, this ring is symbolic back at my hometown. 'A Promise of Freedom' we call it."

"Why do you call it that?'

"Well," the girl said as she closed Eren's fingers around it. "There's a story behind it. A man from long, long ago saved our town from bandits, and he gave the person he loved this ring. A blue gem, for their eyes were a wondrous shade of dark blue and brown. A black gem, for their brown hair. And the ring as a sign of his promise to our people. A promise to leave them alone, leave them to be free, forever. And of course, that meant they could never be together, for he was not of their people. His lover wept for days, and it was said that it was their tears that made the ring turn from bronze to silver. The two feathers on opposite sides of the ring symbolize freedom. "

"Wow," Eren's eyes were wide as he looked at the girl. "There's no way I can take this then." He tried to hand it back, but the girl refused it.

"You take it, lad. My townspeople wouldn't mind. They've all but forgotten the legend. Plus, you remind me of the man." She said, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "You have his eyes…sea green, with a galaxy of stars hidden within…" she said softly.

Eren blink as Levi stepped in front of him, blocking his view of the girl.

"We'll be leaving, then." Levi growled.

"Of course," the girl said, bowing. "Oh, Eren," she called as they headed off. "Give the ring to someone special to you. It said that if you do, your fates will remain entwined forever." And with that, she disappeared into the crowd, and Eren did not see her again.

* * *

"Levi?" Eren called softly at Levi as said boy scrubbed harshly at the dishes.

"What." He growled, not in the mood. Stupid girls and their stupid…urgh. He scrubbed harder, his eyes glaring daggers at the spec of dirt on the plate.

"…you never explained to me what the stone meant."

"Ring, Eren. It was a ring." And of course stupid rings for their stupid 'symbolism.'

"…why did he give her a ring then?"

Levi sighed, and he finally put the plate down gently. Turning, he grabbed Eren and placed him in a chair at the table.

"The ring, Eren," he said slowly, "symbolizes the promise they're making to each other. It's customary for a guy to give a girl a ring first."

"Oh." Eren said finally.

Levi sighed, and got up to get dinner ready. But Eren grabbed onto his hand and Levi felt something cold pass onto his left ring finger. He looked down in shock to see the ring Eren had been given today on his finger.

"Eren," he said slowly, threatenly. "What. Are. You. Doing."

Eren chuckled softly. "I'm giving you a ring."

"I can see that, but why."

"Because I want to make a promise to you." Eren smiled. "The same promise the man and woman were making to each other."

"But, Eren, those kinds of things…" Levi trailed of, unsure whether to smile or refuse the ring but when he caught the smile Eren made, he silenced his protests. "Alright, Eren, I'll keep it. But it's too big for my fingers, so I'm going to do this." He grabbed a chain from his pocket (the chain was from a necklace his father had given him. he removed it earlier today and placed it in his pocket to be burned later, but, oh well.) he threw the old piece of the necklace into the trash before slipping the ring through it and tying it around his neck.

"I'll hold onto it, alright?" Levi said. He slipped the ring behind his shirt, and shivered from the cold metal. Maybe it really was the lovers' tears that made it silver…

"Thanks Levi!" Eren smiled then. A real smile.

Levi reached into his breath pocket then to reveal a handkerchief. "Mean time, I want you to hold on to this." He untied the cloth to show his mothers' wedding ring that he always carried. Eren had only seen it once before, and it had been on accident. Levi had been mad at him for weeks before he explained why the ring was so important.

"But, Levi, isn't this-"

"This one has a story around it, too." Levi interjected, cutting him off. "It's' called 'in faith'. My many great grandfathers had given it to my many great mothers. Its' said that, in my family, a mother gives the ring to the first born son, and when the son gives the ring to someone, they'll be married." He handed the ring, which gleamed in the mid-afternoon sunlight, had no gems on it. But it did have beautifully crafted vines with flowers all across its body. It winked at Eren, as if putting in its own input.

"Will you…" Levi said softly. "Hold on to it for me, as a token of our promise?"

Eren's eyes flicked back and forth from the ring and Levi's eyes, back and forth, back and forth. Levi felt he would die from embarrassment and rejection.

And then Eren smiled. "Alright. I'll keep it."

Levi smiled then. And Eren had to gasp because it was probably one of the most real smiles he had ever seen. It wasn't just with his eyes as he so often smiled. It wasn't with his lips, and that usually was just a smirk. It was with his whole face. His eyes. His lips his nose-everything smiled.

It was one of the rarest and most beautiful things Eren ever saw.

"We'll go into town tomorrow for groceries and I'll get you a chain so the ring doesn't fall off." Levi said, but Eren wasn't listening.

"Pinky promise?" Levi said, lifting up his pinky. Eren blinked, and smiled as well. "Pinky promise." He agreed, reaching over to link their pinkies together.

"Sealed with a pinky-" Levi said, but was interrupted when Eren-

"And a kiss." –leaned over the table and kissed Levi on the lips.

And Levi, so shocked, allowed it.

Outside, a girl giggled, and far, far away, deep, rolling thunder was heard.

One could say it was a titan.

Or one could say it was God.

Or maybe, it was the fates above, singing in joy.

* * *

_-6 months later, Levi's room_-

"Eren. Please don't make this harder than it already is-" Levi pleaded desperately with the boy, on his knees in front of him.

"NO! I don't want you to go!" the boy cried childishly, crossing his arms and pouting.

"Eren, you know I don't want to leave, but I have to so please," Levi reached for the boy's hands. "Just let me hold you tonight, one last time. It'll only be five years."

"That's not it!"" Eren protested, moving away from Levi and sitting on the bed.

"Then what, Eren?" Levi followed after Eren, kneeling before him again. "What has made you so upset?"

"YOU! You have made me so upset!" Eren shouted, breaking down into tears. "I-it's not the-the five years…" Eren wiped his face as hot tears rolled from his eyes. "I-it's…"

"What?"

"A-after…"

Levi frowned in confusion. Eren glanced up and then back down.

"You-you'll be a part of Survey Corps…and I won't know if you'll ever come back…" Eren cried pitifully. But then he suddenly jerked up and cried out "I know!" and he smiled and wrapped his arms around Levi, who, confused, let him.

"What is it now?!" he really didn't understand Eren's mood swings. Pick an emotion and stick to it, his father always said.

"I'll join the Survey Corps, too! Then we'll be together and I can save you and you'll stop calling me brat-"

"BRAT! YOU CANNOT JOIN SURVEY CORPS!" Levi roared. Eren leaped out of his arms, frightened. "W-why not?" Eren prodded, afraid.

Levi shook his shoulders. "This isn't a game, Eren! Once you go out there, there's no rules, no 'time out'! It's either killed or be killed-!"

"I know that!"

"Then why must you say that you want to join Survey Corps!? Why must you worry me so?!"

"Be-because…I want to spend my very last seconds with you…" Eren said.

Levi sighed. The brat probably barely understood those words. 6 years old, and already…

He hugged the child close, and felt Eren wrap his arms, although hesitantly, tightly around him. "There's nothing wrong with that, Eren. I want the same thing, too." Eren looked up. "But you have to understand this, Eren.

"There are no heroes," Levi said solemnly. "Only survivors."

Eren nodded.

"Now come," Levi got up and slipped under the covers of his bed. "Sleep with me. I have to leave early in the morning.'

Eren eagerly got under the covers, and the older covered him protectively, but held him so gently in his arms. Both fell asleep instantly.

Neither saw the shadowed figure smiling in the moonlight.

Neither heard her laughter.

Neither saw her blow a kiss to their window.

And neither saw her dash away, flying over rooftops like she had wings…

And in the morning, Eren woke to a cold bed and an empty room.

* * *

**_thank you for reading. *bows* maybe another chapter update...soon. _**


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/n: So this chapter will be confusing. It will consist of different character points of views, jumping over the years as Levi and Eren grow up. Levi will be, once again, OOC, and at some points really random and strange. Please have patience, dear readers. **_

_**As well as being one of the most confusing chapters I've ever written, it will also introduce probably the most important supporting character of my creation. Pay close attention to her, my dear readers. This is might be the only background you'll be getting for the character from a long while. **_

_**And, as always, Thank you for reading. *Bows***_

* * *

-Chapter 3

"_Who are you?"_

"_I am Petra!" the woman with long golden curly hair and golden eyes shouted loudly._

"_Who are you?"_

"_I am Sven!" a brown haired man shouted._

"_Who are you?"_

"_I am Levi!" Levi cried out._

"_And who are you?" the commander stopped in front of a girl who seemed very relaxed. She had blonde bangs that swept across her face, but the rest of her hair was brown and fell no more past her ears. Her brown eyes looked disinterested as she looked at her commander. But she smiled, all the same, and called out,_

"_You may call me Lyn." And as the commander walker away she laughed. Quietly, so only Levi heard her._

* * *

"Are you alright?" said Eren.

The small blonde nodded gratefully. "Yes. Thank you."

"You should really be careful at night. It's dangerous."

"I know."

Silence.

"…what's your name?"

"…Armin…"

"I'm Eren, and this is Mikasa." Eren pointed at a black-haired girl who simply stared at Armin.

"H-Hello." Will they beat him up too?

Like so many people have?

Eren sighed, and then offered a hand. "Here Get up."

Just so he could knock him down? But Armin took the hand anyway, shaking.

Eren clucked his tongue like a mother hen and dusted Arming off. "Look at you, you're all dirty." Maybe Eren was one of those weirdoes' who like other boys. Which was highly doubtful, since Mikasa followed him everywhere? But they were more of a brother sister combination. And guys were often strange. So maybe…?

Armin gulped.

"Seems like it can't be helped. Come on Armin." Armin let out a sound of shock as Eren grabbed his wrist and pulled him along. Mikasa followed behind the two, and Armin couldn't find the courage within himself to refuse, to shake his hand out of the hold.

No that he could. Eren had a tight grip.

"W-w-where is you taking me?" he stuttered out.

"Home. You can take a bath and eat and sleep and in the morning eat again then leave."

"…that's not proper grammar, I think."

"Does it matter?"

"…yes."

Eren stopped and turned around to face Armin. "Fine. Armin, we're taking you to my house, where you'll eat dinner with us. Afterwards you'll take a bath and I'll lend you some clothes to sleep in. In the morning as we wait for your clothes to dry we'll eat dinner. You can leave once you're clothes are dry or if you want to stay longer." Eren's tone left no argument, no time for second guessing. Was this like his personality?

"…why?"

Eren cocked his head, confused. "Because, silly. We're friends."

…friends?

Like, friend- friends?

Not bully-friends, he hoped…

There were so many times when he was in that relationship…

"Friends?" Armin said, listening to the word.

"Yes." Eren laughed. "Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"I'm sorry! It's just…" the rest of the sentence was lost as Armin mumbled. Eren had to lean in closer to hear him. Mikasa did as well. "What?" Eren probed.

"…I've never had friends before…"

* * *

"_How are you doing that, Levi?"_

_Levi looked back at his classmate, Petra. "Doing what? " he said, bored. _

"_How are you hanging from the ceiling with you 3-D gear like it's nothing new?"_

"_Well, you could say he's gone batty. Or maybe," Hanji joked. "He's a vampire who'll gobble you up!" she made eating motions towards Petra, who squealed. _

_Levi watched them from his spot on the ceiling and rolled his eyes. How had he come to know these little constipated shits? In fact…_

_He glanced around the room, looking at everyone. How had he come to know them all? Maybe it was the training thing. The fact they were constantly pushed together, and they all were under the cruelty of the same person that made them come together. All, except…_

_Levi glanced over at the biggest mysterious in the squad. Lyn. She was sitting in the back, wearing a dark grey hoodie under her jacket and working on an assignment. No, wait. Levi squinted. She was…writing something. She would often stop and sit back before returning again. Yep. Definitely writing something. _

_Levi somersaulted and released his gear so he landed gracefully on the ground. The commander had given them all their gear but no swords, "because there's too few of us already, we don't need us to go loony and kill everyone." Commander said. Whatever. He had instructed the class to get used to their gear, get used to the feel. They had been given permission to use it to its fullest function. Supplies for 3-D gear were easy to come by. _

_He walked out of the classroom, past the few groups outside to stand alone. He looked up at the mountains. _

_So far, everyone was looking good. Of course, a few stood out for certain things. Petra was really good with knives but bad at maneuvers. Hanji was mediocre, which was a little better. But her true calling was science and experiments. Definintely joining survey corps. Some other classmates were destined for the top ten-_

_The top ten. Tch. _

_Levi grimaced and gritted his teeth. Not to sound conceited, but he knew he was at the top of the top ten. He knew his skills were invaluable, and actually a few rich people were trying to bribe him to join the military police. Hell no. stupid shitty military fucking police. _

"_Thinking about the military police?" a voice said softly._

_It took everything to not jump. Levi turned, very slowly, to face Lyn. She smiled softly at him. Not to sound weird or anything, but often when Lyn smiled it looked like a waning or a waxing moon. And she laughed and smiled often, as if she had a private joke she couldn't share. She was always alone in the back…_

_When she raised her eyebrows at Levi, he coughed. "How'd you know?" He said, trying so hard to be polite. Petra was trying to beat it into him. _

"_You get this grimace, or this half death glare when someone mentions it. So I just assumed." She glanced at him. "Did I guess wrong?"_

"_..No." _

_She smiled, the looked to the mountains. They were silent for a while before she spoke again. "You know, I think I know a way to make the military police better." He looked over at her. "It's just an idea, but…_

"_What if we made it so the people at the top ten, instead of allowing them to enlist with no restrictions, make it so they must have killed at least one or two titans, or serve in survey corps or garrison for 5 years?" Levi gaped at her. _

_She bit her lip, not looking at him. "That doesn't sound too childish, right?"_

"_No! That has to be the best fucking plan I've heard since we built the walls." Levi agreed enthusiastically. He didn't really know Lyn, but she thought so much like him. This wasn't the first time, but it still caught him off guard a lot. She often claimed her mind was really slow, that she was simple-minded. But Levi didn't believe that. _

_He realized that she was distracted by something and he leaned around her (she was taller than his 160 cm height by 10 cm) to see what she was looking at. _

_She was watching one of the military students greet their family. He was holding his younger sister and spinning her 'round and 'round while their mother hide her small smile with a hand. Kind of cute. Made him think of..._

_Eren. Immediately Levi's mood turned sour as he thought of his Brat. He wanted out. He wanted to see him. One more time. He didn't care if Eren smacked him or hit him, he just wanted to touch him. Hug him close. Kiss him on the forehead at night like he used to. Sing quiet lullabies when he had a nightmare. Listen to him talk, watch his emotions be displayed on his face, hear him laugh. He wanted to hear it all. _

_Lyn must've caught him staring, because she turned and asked him. "Do you have anyone waiting for you when you get out?"_

_Levi snorted. "No. my mother died a few years back to some shitty assholes in the military police. My pops never gave a shit, so I'm alone."_

"_I see…" she trailed off, looking back at the mountains. Levi observed her form the corner of his eye. "What about you? Anyone sitting around constipated waiting for you?"_

"_Oh!" she exclaimed, swerving her head back to face him. "Oh, no. No one...sitting around constipated waiting for me." Her brownish-red gaze turned slightly sad, if you looked closely. "I don't think I've ever had anyone wait for me." She finished solemnly. She paused, then laughed softly. "Sorry. That sounded…depressing."_

_Levi blinked at her. He never knew this. But thinking back it was so painfully obvious. She was never one for getting into groups, somehow able to convince the commander to give her pardon at those times. And she wasn't particularly good with knives or maneuvers. He often wondered why she was let in. he also thought back to the first day of training. She had come alone, unlike him. He had Carla bring him. And several others had their parents whisper soft goodbyes in their children's ears, some weeping. But Lyn had stood there. She had her gaze into the distance, blinking rarely.  
_

_And on days when family could visit, no one called for her. _

_He sighed then. "You know, I think I might have lied. There is a little shit waiting for me, back home."_

_Lyn looked at Levi. He crossed his arms as he looked up at the sky. "He's a whiny brat, is always looking like he's constipated, squeals like a girl when he can't do or find something, and he loves to cling onto my arm pitifully. Especially when he wants me to sleep over. It's annoying as hell._

"_But," he continued. "There are times when he's got this look in his eye. Like he knows something. His gaze is filled with some raw emotion, some sort of bravery. And when he sleeps he holds me close to his body for comfort and warmth." Where were these words coming from? He'd never tell a living soul about this. "And he's adorable when he eats ice cream. He forgets how to eat and his food often ends up everywhere but in his stomach. Which is often a bitch because I hate having to clean it up. But when he smiles-"_

_A hand on his shoulder, and he suddenly realizing that he's crying. "w-what..?" he touches a hand to a tear. Why was he…?_

"_Levi." He looked up to Lyn eyes, her all-knowing eyes. Does she know why? "Levi, calm down. Relax. You're crying."_

"_No shit." He croaked softly. But his hand reached up to hold her arm. To keep himself steady. _

_She was so…warm. Like, fever warm or something. Or maybe he just felt really cold. Whatever it was, he was glad for it. He shivered as she stroked his back and squeezed his shoulder gently. In an intimate way, but not sexually. Sort of…like a sibling. What the hell? Was he really comparing her to a sibling figure? They just met!_

_But…_

_He'd never had a sibling before. _

_But he's certainly had enough of his brat to know they were annoying and precious as hell. So maybe it was something more like…older sibling?_

_That was something he had always wished for.. Levi realized._

_Lyn pulled him close into a gentle hug and Levi allowed it. He wrapped his arms around her body and buried his head in her shoulder. _

"_Strong, brave, little Levi," she whispered amusingly into his ear. "Always the strong wall for others." That was true. Petra was more than terrified when she first stepped in here, and Hanji was only a little worse. He had been the one to crack the first joke. Set the first ground works for their relationships. Petra had gladly taken to building the rest, but Hanji needed a little more help. She had gone a little insane with the sins and deeds of her past. But with Levi's and Petra's help her walls had crumbled. And deep within, they had found the little girl trembling and crying. _

_And they raised her._

"_So ready to catch any who fall…"_

_He remembered Eren when he had found out his mother had died. He had come, crying to Levi, shedding tears over Vorebend. He crawled onto Levi's bed and into his lap and into his heart, weeping and sobbing like the snot-nosed brat that he was. He cradled Levi's head in his toddler hands and apologized so heart-fully that Levi shushed him and held him close so he wouldn't see his face. Silently, he held Eren and wept for his mother, for his shitty father that never realized how much his mother loved him. For so many reasons. Big ones and little ones. Eren buried his nose in Levi's neck and nuzzled him. Soothingly. Gently. Lovingly. _

"_..But who'll catch you when you fall?" Lyn said quietly. But her words were lost to Levi's ears, falling to the sound of Levi's quiet hiccups. All the same, she let a hand slide into his hair and held him, humming quietly. _

* * *

Hurt…

…it hurts….

_What hurts?_

Everything…it all did…

_I don't think you're telling the truth to yourself._

H-how…what-

_What do you remember last?_

Father...blood…mother…

_You have to remember, remember. What happened?_

T-they-

_Who are they?_

The two…the two hunters…

_Hunters?_

Mmhmm. And she was the prey. The prize.

_Prize?_

Yes…and she hoped they'd get to the killing now. She as so tired…so ready to die…

…

Even the voice knew. It knew the end was near.

_Someone's here._

A knock. So loud. She moaned and tried to turn her head away. But she couldn't move. Couldn't speak. She was a statue. Like the bug on the plant from that one day, its screams so silent…

_Hush, child, hush._

Yes…

"Who are you?" a gruff voice said.

"Sorry for interrupting. I just need some directions to this place."

The sound of papers being wrinkled and unwrinkled. Fingers stroking the page.

"Ah. It just that way, take a left once you past a fork in the road."

"Thank you!"

_Are they leaving?_

"You're welcome."

_Don't-_

"Sorry for bothering you. Bye!"

_Leave-_

The door closes.

They left…

_How could they? How can no one notice the sin that is to be committed right now? How can no one see? How can they ignore it?_

That's just being human, she told the voice. That's just being predator and prey. The rules of the most dangerous game.

_I've known this for so long, yet I still bristle every time I see things like this. _

It's alright…soon it'll be over…

_You're giving up, aren't you?_

Giving up? She scoffed. There was nothing left to give.

_There's always something left to give, something left to trade. Something of value, even when you've reached where you are now. _

Mmhmm. She hummed, closing her eyes as her capturer stepped forward, eyes gleaming in hunger.

_This world is so cruel. Why was it created? Was it meant to be cruel? _

He's hands reached down to his pants, tugging on the cloth. She heard it slither and fall. Felt its rough touch on her arm.

…_would you like to make a deal?_

A deal? Now? The man was stroking her arm, pressing dirty, dirty kisses into the pale skin. She stared, and fancied him turning her pale glow into dirt.

_A deal. You make any wish you want, and I give you a price. _

A wish? She'd never thought of a wish before. The man was now turning her over and reaching to peel back her shirt to reveal even paler skin, small mounds…

_Hurry, make one. You've got little time. _

The voice…it sounded hurried. Why the rush? She was going to die soon. After the man had his fun, she'd disappear, like dust being swept away. Her pale glow would turn to dirty ash and dust. Maybe if the poor fool breathed her in he'd cough and sneeze, spreading her apart even more.

_Come one, girlie, make a wish!_

What was the point?

_Alright! This one time, THIS ONE time ONLY, I'll save you, no deal required. But just this once. _

A knock on the door.

The man groaned, and let go of her shirt. He got up and pulled his pants up before answering in the same gruff tone.

She stared up at the ceiling.

"What?"

She wondered if the stars were out. Were they swirling and dancing in the sky? Were her beloved father and dear mother in that sky? Were they dancing and swirling above, waiting for her to join them in an eternal dance?

She wanted to join them soon…wait for me…

"Sorry, sir, but I think I'm lost." A young boy's voice rang out.

She turned her head to glare at the door. How dare he keep her from joining her parents? How dare this child stop what was to come?

"Isn't it too late for you to be wandering around, boy? There are wolves…"

"I know sir, but I'm a local and can handle myself. I just need to know where I am."

Their voice faded from her ears then. She was lost in her despair and anger. Who was she angry at? Why was she sad?

Why were they screaming? What were those noises? She focused on the dead body of her capturer in front of her, his comrade further away. And the hands of the boy cutting her hands loose. "Are you alright?" he said.

"..There are three of them…" she said softly. No way was she taking someone else down with her.

Immediately, the third man revealed himself. The boy tried to defend them both, but to no avail. The man had him in a choke hold, holding him up. And she caught another look of hunter and prey. She stared, eyes filled with no emotions.

But when the boy looked at her and yelled at her to grab the knife before her, a jolt went through her, subtly.

_There it is._

She paid no attention to the voice as she grabbed the knife and held it. Her hands shook.

_See? I told you…everyone has something left to give._

And suddenly she gasped as something so natural went through her body.

_You know what to do. _A ghostly warm hand touched her shoulder.

Suddenly, she no longer felt like the lamb, but like the lion. She knew where to place the knife. Where to sink its lethal bite in the man's skin. Her hands didn't shake. Her eyes narrowed to a determined glare.

Her foot dug into the ground as she prepared herself. Her muscles tightened. And she striked. Like a snake, her knife bared like a poisoned fang, she sailed it into his neck. It whistled, so loudly, in her ears, and she felt the little shiver of pleasure.

_Her eyes widened._

* * *

"_Levi." A whisper in the night. Soft. Quiet._

'_What?" a low rumble, and irritated growl escapes his lips. He has to stop himself from adding "brat" at the end. _

"_Levi, come on." Insisting hands pokes out his side. Like Eren's small hands. But it isn't Eren. His heart wasn't sure if it should flutter or sink. _

"_Why?" he grumbled out anyways. He pushes what he now finds as Petra's hands away and rolls over. Maybe if he slept he'll dream of him…_

"_I want to show you something."_

"_Go away Petra." _

'_No!" and urgent whisper. "Come on! Get up!"_

_A growl passes his lips before he sighs and gets up. "This better be good Petra." He threatens, stepping out of his sleeping roll. Why do those words sound so familiar? _

"_It is. Watch." She grabs his hand and pulls him along quickly. He stumbles a lot once they reach uneven ground, but she knows better than to call him on it. So she just pulls him along, wincing when he trips over upturned roots and overgrown bushes. _

_By the time they get there he's already uttered every curse word in the book and then some. _

"_Fucking good-for-nothing-shitty earth." He growls. "Fuck, fuck, fuck-"_

"_Levi." She calls softly, letting go of his arm. He looks-no, glares- at her. "Look, Levi." She points. _

_He follows the direction of her finger and looks up at the night sky. And he gasps. _

"_Oh fuck." He whispers. "It's fucking gorgeous."_

_And it was. Thousands upon thousands of stars covered the sky. Each sparkled and shone like stories so often said they did, seemingly dancing across the sky. The moon seemed so close that you could reach out a hand and touch it. It was full and bright and so very beautiful, with its many stars surrounding. It was like looking Levi's mother before she went to a town party-all dressed up in a softly glowing dress and diamonds dangling from her ears. The diamonds always seemed to wink no matter how little light there was in the room. _

_As Levi looks up at the sky, thinking of days long past, Petra looks at him. She took in his "starry-eyed" look. His eyes were open just a little wider, and his lips were partly open. She watches as stars seem to dance off of his eyes and blushes when her gaze goes done further, taking in the bare muscles received from their 2 years of training and pale skin fully exposed in the moonlight. _

_She looks down, unsure of where to look. _

_Levi, however, is not having these problems. He was thinking not of Petra's smooth skin and graceful features, but of the stars. And how they remind him, as always, of Eren. Eren's gaze would look exactly like this. Only they were of a green instead of dark black. And Levi was damn sure Eren's eyes held more countless stars than this sky._

_Eren…_

"_Levi…"_

_His gaze snaps down from above to focus on what was before him. He half smiles at Petra. "It's beautiful."_

_She blushes as if he was addressing his compliment to her. "Thank you." She smiles back. _

"_How'd you find it?" he inquires. He flicks his gaze back and forth between Petra and the sky. _

"_I did as someone once made me do." She looks at him pointedly. He doesn't even flash a look of shame. "I explored."_

_They laugh quietly. Her bell-like laugh mixes with his deep, low voice. They quiet down and he looks back up. She bites her lip as she works up her nerves for what was to come. _

"L_-Levi…" she whispers nervously. She didn't expect him to hear, but he did. He looked at her again. Petra let out a breath and blurted out, "_Levi-I-you-we-I-want-_" she stutters. He blinks at her and she blushes again. She takes in a breath. Slowly, closing her eyes as she spoke, she said "Levi, I think…I'm in love with you." _

_Silence._

"…_Levi?"_

_She says, opening her eyes. _

_He's smiling. Sadly, but still. _

_I knew it…she thinks. She lets her tense shoulders fall, giving up. He doesn't…feel that way for me…I was wrong…_

_All those times when she thought she caught him staring. When she thought she saw more heat in his gaze than there should be. And the other times when his fingers lingered as long as they could. When he stroked his fingers across her arms while in a maneuver and she'd shiver, she thought he'd stare long and hard at her. _

_Those weren't…what I was think they were…_

_At least I confessed…she thinks. There's nothing I have to regret now…_

"_Petra, I…" Hands touch hers and she winces. She didn't notice it, but she was already crying. "I think…I'm not ready for love, but…"  
but…?_

_His hands slid up to cradle her face. His thumbs wipe away her tears. _

"_I think…."_

_She looks at him. _

"_I could…if it's you…"_

* * *

His heart wrenches, and suddenly Eren's on the floor, screaming and clutching his chest. "Eren!" Mikasa kneels at his side, her hands hovering over his body. "Get Grisha!" she shouts at Armin. Armin watches with wide eyes before running into the house and getting Eren's parents. Eren, however, cries out from the pain in his chest.

What was this pain?

Why did his chest hurt?

The ring around his neck burns like fire and he groans.

It hurts…

Levi…

Who was Levi?

* * *

(Flashback to when Levi left)

"Eren…" Grisha placed his hands on his sons' shivering body. "Eren, it's time to go."

"NO! I don't want to leave!" Eren protests. He clings to Levi's pillow. "Let me stay here for another day, please…" he begged pitifully.

Grisha sighed. "Eren, you've been in this empty house for three days. I know you ate food on the second day, just like you promised, but you're mother's really worried." He shook Eren's shoulder consolingly. "I'm worried." He whispered.

Ever since Levi left, Eren hasn't taken a step out of Levi's room. Grisha could understand Eren's grief. He was more than happy to leave Eren alone while he was getting over Levi. But since there was no one in the house with him, and the property was going to be sold soon, he had no choice. It also pained him a little to see Eren in such a state.

"Eren…this has to stop. He's not coming back." Grisha pulled Eren into his lap. He wrapped his arms around his father's neck and hid his face in his shoulder. "He's growing up now, which I suggest you should do, too." He wasn't sure if Eren was actually listening to him, but he kept on talking. "Time to find some new friends, move on."

"B-but, none of th-hem will be like-e L-Levi." Eren hiccupped. His father patted his back gently. "I know son. That's a good thing."

"i-it is?" now he sounded confused. Grisha smiled a little at having distracted him and said, "Yes. Because his memory will be with you forever. Some days you'll find yourself comparing your current friends to him, and realize their faults and strengths." Hopefully you'll also find how ridiculous all this was and grow up sensible. "And you'll realize how precious each friend is."

Eren leaned back to look at his father's face, wiping his tears. "D-do you really think so?"

Grisha smiled. "Yes. Who knows? Maybe the more you think of him, he'll come back someday. You don't want him to come back to a crying mess, do you?"

"No! Then he'll scold me and he won't give me ice cream." Eren said childishly. He giggled. Grisha felt a moment of pride a this son. He kissed his cheek. "Now, will you say goodbye to this empty house and come back home?"

Immediately Eren's smile vanished. But he nodded. In a small voice, he spoke. "C-can I keep the pillow?" his fingers clung to it desperately. Grisha nodded. "Yes. But you have to carry it."

"Okay." The child pulled it close to his heart and rested his chin on its edge.

"And I," Grisha said, getting up. "Will carry you." He tickled his tummy. Eren squealed and smack at his fathers' hand. They two left the house then. Eren looked at it from over his father's wide shoulder before turning his head to his neck, closing his eyes.

* * *

Grisha wondered how many things he could ask forgiveness for until some god decided it was enough.

"I'm sorry, my son." He said to the sleeping child. Eren clung to Levi's pillow tightly, his face rested on its surface. His parents had soon discovered that this was the only way Eren was going to sleep. They disapproved of it, wanting Eren to break all ties with Levi, but they kept quiet about their protests.

That night, once again, Grisha left his wife to sleep and stood over his child.

"But I think it's better for you to forget." He whispers, stroking a hand through Eren's hair.

In his other hand he held a small pill.

Calling on powers he swore to never again use, especially on his own child, he commanded Eren to wake.

Eren's eyes opened to reveal his green eyes, glowing inhumanly in the moonless night. He looked up at his father. "Eren, swallow this." Grisha handed the pill to him. Immediately, without ever taking his eyes off of his father, Eren swallowed the pill. His body began to spas and flop about, but his eyes stayed on his father.

When the effects of the pill passes, and Eren's body stilled, Grisha stroked Eren's hair out of his face and commanded him again, "Now sleep, Eren, and forget this."

And Eren was asleep again. His hands let go of Levi's pillow and he turned away from it. Grisha took the pillow and left the room. He walked into his room and threw the pillow into the fireplace there. There was no use for it anymore, and if Eren had it than all the Grisha just did was for nothing.

Besides. In the morning, Eren wouldn't remember Levi anymore.

Grisha nodded to himself as the pillow burned, then climbed into bed and wrapped his arms around his wife.

Eren was safe again. For good, this time.

But outside the window, once again, a girl stood. She smiled again at Grisha's foolishness.

She jumped over to place her fingertips on Eren's windowpane, her breath leaving frost on the window.

Eren rolled to face the window and a brief look of irritation flashed across his face. He groped around the bed for something. But then the girl whispered a single sentence and he stopped. His expression turned peaceful, and the girl smiled motherly.

"It'll be alright, Eren." she promises, blowing a kiss his way. "It'll all be fixed, and you'll be with your mate again." Her gaze flickered to the necklace hidden under Eren's clothes. She whispered again and departed, flying once again on invisible wings over rooftops.

"Goodbye…" Eren whispered in his sleep.

* * *

-(Deleted scene)-

Levi…

Where was Levi?

Where was the warmth?

Eren sought Levi's cold, cold hand. What was that saying? Cold hands, warm heart? It fit so perfectly with Levi. Eren's toddler fingers spread out and slid through the sheets, seeking the larger hand.

"Levi…" Eren sighed quietly. He smiled to himself as he imagined him waking up. He always was grumpy, but in the morning it was like he realized how beautiful everything was. He'd stroked Eren's face so gently, so lovingly. His dark eyes would watch his face when he thought Eren was asleep. And when Eren woke up he'd smile that smile of his, though small and subtle.

When his finger reached the edge of the bed, panic seized his heart. He tried to calm down as his search turned frantic. He didn't want to believe it. Levi was still here, wasn't he? He was here…

Maybe he was out of bed already.

Trying to still his racing heart, Eren opened his eyes and slowly rose. He scanned the room but saw no familiar gaze, no trace of dark hair. It was empty. Eren climbed out of bed and touched his feet to the floor. He shivered at the cold touch.

But Levi…

He ran to the bedroom door and opened it quickly with a "Ha!"

There were a few times that Levi woke and get out of bed quietly. He was usually hidden behind a door, waiting to scare Eren. He loved it when his little brat ran around, worried for him. Most of the time Eren would end up sobbing on the floor and Levi would pick him up and toss him around. Always within the privacy of either ones' house. He'd chuckle at Eren's face before complaining about him getting tears on his shirt.

This was not one of those times.

There was no Levi. No smirking face, no out stretched arms. No small laughter. Nothing.

Was he in the kitchen?

Other times when he slipped out he was cooking in the kitchen. He would complain that Eren was sleeping for too long.

"Then why don't you wake me up?" Eren would say as he clung to his leg.

"Because then I'd have to deal with _your _complaining." Levi would say, ruffling his hair.

But no Levi was standing in the kitchen, fixing them both breakfast. There was nothing there. The dishes weren't in the sink.

No! No!

Eren ran then. He ran all through the empty cold house, opening every door he came across, yelling and shouting for Levi. He cried pitifully as he ended up back where it had started; Levi's room. _NO! No! He's here! He's still here!_ Shaking his head, he ran out of the house into the street.

* * *

_**A/N: Thank you for your reading. *bows***_


	5. Chapter 5

Death.

My eyes widen as I stare at the carnage before me. Drops of blood are scattered on my cheek but I don't feel the warm watery touch.

Bodies and bodies of people, all dead, lay at my feet. Friend on friend. Foe on foe. Enemy and ally. All atop the other. A woman stared up at the sky, her mouth open in an eternally silent scream. I gasp. My eyes widen even more.

"_In death, _all_ are equal." _

I jerk around to face the direction the voice came from and see a man, his back to me. To his left he held a decapitated head. In the other he held a sword, its blade dripping blood. He stood by a tree with its branches set aflame. One of them feel at his feet, and that's when I noticed the fiery orange-red sky surrounding his figure.

_Hoof and horn, all that dies shall be reborn. _A child's voice rang out cheerily as they said the beginnings of a nursery rhyme. I shiver at the eerie feeling.

I watch as the man drops the sword and the head to stare at his hands. The man broke down, falling to his knees and burying his face in his hands. He wept, throwing his head back to shout at the sky before covering his face again.

Something tugs my leg and I look down.

_Corn and grain, all that falls shall rise again._

Cold, dark gray-blue eyes look up at me and I cry out. "Levi!"

He smiles. "Hey brat" and suddenly he's coughing up blood.

And I, too, just like the man, fall to my knees. I grab Levi's hand and grab his shoulder. But I jump and drop both immediately when I see someone else's arm comes into view. But, as I soon release, it's _my_ arm.

It was a grown-ups' arm, covered with a brown leather jacket. Its fingers were long and graceful and covered with blood. I look down to see my legs, long and dressed in high brown leather boots and white pants

"This is…?" military uniform?

But then Levi coughs again and my attention reverts back to him. ""E-Eren…" he whispers coarsely. He coughs. I look him over and see a _military issued sword_ sticking _out_ of his stomach. I cry out. "Levi! You're dying!' I shout.

"N-No shit, dumbass." He groans. I reach to pull out the sword but he stops me. "D-don't! I'll bleed out faster…" instead, he places my hand on his cheek and holds it there. "Brat…it's g-good to see you… before I-"

"Don't say it!" I shout. "Please don't…" and I start to cry. Levi smiles at me. "You never changed…you look even more constipated when you cry."

"Shut up," I snap. "I-I'm crying for you, bastard." My other hand tightens its grip on his chest. "Stop making fun of me." I whimper as he continues to smile. "S-sorry." He says weakly, not sorry at all. "Just trying to make the situation lighter." I let out a brief chuckle. Brave, strong Levi. Always cracking a joke at the wrong time.

His hand reaches up to cradle my cheek. I le tout a sob and reach the hand that was on his chest to his touch on my cheek. My fingers wrap around his. "Eren…." Levi whispers. "…some reunion, huh?"

I smile a little and nod. I press a kiss into the palm of his hand. "Eren, promise me…" His smile slips from his face.

"Anything." I say immediately.

"Promise me you'll feed my cat Corporal."

It takes everything in me to not hit him. So instead, I glare at him. "You're dying, and that's your last request?"

He smiles. "…yes…please…"  
"You shitty bastard." I say. "Of course I will."

"Thank you, brat." He says, relieved. "a-and for the record…I'm…your…shitty bastard…" he says in-between coughs of blood. I gasp.

"And…you…are you-"

"yes." I say quickly. "I'm you're brat." I smile. "Always have, always will. You can't get rid of me that easily." I glare at him. "No matter how hard I try." He says jokingly, smiling a little. "And don't you forget it." I finish. "O-of course."

It's happening now. We both could feel it. His breaths were getting shorter, rougher. His chest would seize painfully. But when I tried to call for help he'd shush me. "No one else is alive, Brat." He whispers.

And he was right. Among the masses of bodies, not a single soul remained with us.

So I decide to make the most of his last moments. I pull as much of Levi onto my lap as I can and cradle his head in my chest. He kept his gaze on my face all the while, protesting when I tried to shift his gaze skyward. "I want…to see…your face…I…want it to be…that last…" he trailed off. His hands would wipe the tears I spilled for him. He'd shush me when my sobbing would grow too loud or when I tried to speak. "d-don't ruin the moment, Brat." He whispers.

And then we hear it.

A soft sigh that escapes Levi's lips.

A quiet releasing of breath…

Sounding so peaceful…

"Eren, its time…I can't fight it anymore…"

"Don't." I say. "Don't fight it."

"I don't want to leave you…"

"You aren't. You're just…" I bit my lip to hide a sob. "You're just going to sleep." I say the word she told me once, long ago, when I had nightmares. He'd hold me close and talk softly. His voice would lull me to sleep but I'd try to fight it. "Don't fight it, Eren." He'd say. "It's only natural."

He smiles and closes his eyes. "Sleep…that sounds nice…"

"Yes…would you like me to sing for you?" I suggest hesitantly. Only now did I discover Levi liked it when I sang for him.

No response.

"…Levi?"

"Yes brat. Sing for me."

So I start to hum. It took a while before I actually sang. And when I did, it was,

"_Hush-a-baa, Baby, _

_The b-beggar shan't have thee…"_

Levi sighs again. I stop, and start again.

"_No more than the maggoty pie._

_The rook nor the raven shan't carry ye to h-heaven."_ I stumble on the last word, but Levi doesn't mind.

"_So hush-a-baa- baby, bye-bye…"_

Silence. "…Levi?"

_Eren, _a voice whispers in the back of my mind, but I ignore it.

His body's so still, so cold. He's…

_Eren…_the voice says, louder.

_I can't even yell at him to not leave me because I was the one who told him he wasn't. But he's so cold…I don't…please don't…_

I throw my head back up to the sky and scream-

_Eren!_

* * *

"Eren!"

Eren opens his eyes to look up at Mikasa. She blinks at him as he takes in the wind blowing through her hair. "Eren…are you…" she says slowly, confusion in her eyes.  
"…Crying?"

Eren gasps.

* * *

_**Chapter 4, episode one:**_

_To you, in 2000 years- __**The Fall, part 1**_

* * *

"_On that day,_

_Humanity was suddenly reminded,_

_...Of the terror of being at their mercy…_

…_And of the humiliation of being trapped in a cage…"_

_Eren Yeager_

* * *

As they walk back into Shiganshina district, Eren whispers softly to Mikasa, "don't tell anyone that I was crying, you hear?"

"Eren you were crying?" a voice in front of them says. The children turn to look at the owner of the voice.

"No I wasn't, Hannes!" Eren protests as he addresses the tall blonde soldier. The soldier's hair grew no further than a full buzz cut, common for older soldiers. He strokes his mustache as he strides over to the children with confidence. His comrades-in-arms sit back and relax over a game. Eren stares up at Hannes.

"What are you doing here?" he asks, his hands forming into a loose fist when he sees a bottle being passed between the soldiers from the corner of his eye.

"What are you talking about? I'm on duty today." Hannes rubs the back of his head, suddenly nervous when Eren fixes his eyes on him. "Or have you lost your memory as well as your manners?" he teases.

"That's not all he's lost, I think." One of the others whispers. His friend shushes him, though he's laughing as well. They stop when Eren looks over at them. "Have you been drinking again?" Eren asks. He looks back at Hannes.

"A-ah, no-"

"Don't lie, Hannes." Eren says quickly. "Don't lie when the evidence is right in front of me." Hannes blushes. Damn. The kid was smart when he wanted to be. "It's not good for you to be drinking. Especially when you're on duty." Eren adds. Mikasa is silent behind him.

"I can't argue with the whole drinking-not-being-good-for-you. You _are_ a doctor's son." Hannes says. He looks over his shoulder at the town. "Especially when it's the doctor that saved us from an epidemic a few years back." They go quiet, the only sounds coming from the other soldiers as they play their game. One groans over his loss while the other grins over his winnings. Eren's hands, hidden from everyone's view except Mikasa's, clenches.

"You know that's not what I meant. " Eren fixes his glare on Hannes. "I don't really care if you're drinking off duty. But at least have the decency to not when you are!" Hannes tries to hush him, but it's too late. Eren's gone into one of his rants again. The soldiers begin to snicker.

"I hate your drinking as much as I hate these walls!" Eren shouts. He throws his hand on said wall while still glaring at the blonde. "They make us no different than cattle!"

Eren's words, though ominous, were disregarded by the soldiers easily. To them, he was no more than the mad man speaking truths that would never come to pass. But for Hannes, they were words of a fortune teller.

Eren has always been strange. He kept strange company, especially when he was younger. He had stuck close to the young bastard child of Vorebend. Though many liked him, he was always aloof. When Eren came around the two became fast friends and it was as uncommon to see them apart as it was to see markets closed. The two had fitted together like puzzle pieces. But then one day the other boy disappeared and Eren forgot about him. And with time, the villagers forgot of the strange boy as well.

Now Eren was friends with Mikasa Ackerman, whose parents were murdered in a bandit raid. She was about to be sold into human trafficking when Eren intervened and killed everyone. No one believed it, or wanted to, but it was true. The military police didn't try to cover it up, so it was common knowledge. And since that day Mikasa kept close to his side. She rarely spoke, though some could argue that she spoke through her fists and her fights.

Armin was Eren's second friend. He wasn't a constant presence at Eren's side like Mikasa, but he was almost always there. If he wasn't with Eren he was either getting beaten up by older children or reading a book by the river. Sometimes Eren was with him, and they read together. Armin was not an unlikeable person. He was just bullied because he believed that one day the walls would fall, and when he said that people became panicked and would lash out at him.

Their friendship was an odd one, too. Eren rushed headlong into whatever fight came upon them, Mikasa following close by. Armin tried to coordinate who to hit or simply was the reason as to why they were fighting. And when they weren't fighting they sat by the bank of the river, reading or talking of fearful things. They never talked of something _normal-_

"When I'm older, I'll go into the military and join the Survey Corps!" Eren shouts.

Hannes took a step back. "What?! Eren, you can't!" he grabs the boy's shoulders. "The Survey Corps is no place for a boy! Promise me you won't!" when all he got was Eren's determined gaze, he shook him. "Promise me!"

The bell rang. They all look up. An announcement of the returning forces.

"They're back. Come on, Mikasa." Eren breaks out of Hannes hold easily and runs away. Startled, Hannes lets them go, Mikasa following close by Eren's side.

* * *

"Eren." Mikasa starts.

"Don't tell Ma that I want to join the Survey corps." He says, spinning to face her. "Don't tell her." He fixes her with a stare and she nods. He turns around again.

"Hurry up, Mikasa. They'll be coming in soon." Eren rushes, walking faster. He tugs his pack of sticks further up his back.

_He's avoiding the subject now_, Mikasa thinks. "Eren." She begins again. "Eren, you can't-"

"Hurry up! They're opening the gates!" Eren runs off, leaving Mikasa to run after him. _Don't think this is over, Eren_, she thinks.

They make it just in time to watch the Survey Corps' return. Eren climbs up on top of a block and pulls Mikasa up so they both can see. He grins at one of the members when they look at him but they just as soon as turn away. His smile slips and he gasps at the number of bodies. He takes in the dejected and tired looks of the members. And he realizes that, once again, it's another loss for humanity.

"And all our taxes go to this. Hmph." An old man scoffs and spits into the dirt. Eren looks over at him, along with several other people. "I say we just stop wasting our time and actually get some real work done." At this, some people start to nod. But Eren grits his teeth and grabs one of his sticks from his bundle. In anger, he throws it at the old man.

"What-?" the old man turns around to look down at him. "What'd you do that for, kid?"

"Take it back." Eren growls lowly.

"What?" The old man blinks.

"What you said. Take it back." Eren glares at him. "Now!" He takes out another stick and points it at him.

"Look kid, it time you learned that the Survey Corps are not the heroes you believes them to be. In fact, they-"

"Shut up!" Eren shouts. "Take it back!" He raises his stick to hit the man. But Mikasa grabs him by the scruff of him neck and pulls him away before he can. She pulls him down an alley way as the old man shouts threats at them, ignoring both the threats and Eren's protests. When they're far enough away she throws him into a wall. He grunts at the impact. His bundle of sticks scatter all over the ground. "Why'd you have to do that? Now look at what you've done." He says, getting up.

"Tell me." She says simply. "Tell me why you want to join the Survey Corps." He ignores her again and starts to gather up the sticks. "Come on, help me!" he says from the ground. But she remains standing, refusing to budge. "If you aren't going to answer that, then answer this: why do you constantly insist on seeing the survey corps when they come and go?"

That makes him pause. He can't tell her. He can't tell her because he doesn't even know himself. He can't tell her that when he looks at the faces of the members that he's looking for one in particular. One he doesn't even remember can't recall correctly. One so foreign and strange but so very familiar, it confuses Eren every time, makes his head go fuzzy and his eyes start to roll up into his head. Why does he search for something he can't even recollect? He's tried to stop, but his curiosity always lucks out. And before he knows it he's memorized every face in hopes that when he sees the right face he'll know. But every time is filled with disappointment. Who is he looking for?

"I guess…it's just hero's worship, maybe." Eren says then. He returns to gathering the sticks. "Now come on. Help me with this."

It isn't the answer Mikasa expects, but it's good enough. So she gets down on her knees and helps him. By the time they reach home the sun's closer to the edge of the sky-not quite sunset, but close. Eren opens the door and they are greeted by Carla. As they empty their bundles Carla comments on the number of sticks Eren is carrying. He gives her a passive answer, and she pulls his ear. "Mikasa carried them for you again, didn't she?"

Embarrassed, Eren smacks her hands away. He heads to the bath room to wash up for dinner while Mikasa helps Carla make it. "Just soup today, dear." Carla says as she ruffles Mikasa's hair. "Why don't you take off that scarf? It's hot today." Mikasa doesn't answer, but she doesn't take off her scarf. Carla sighs, gives up, and returns to peeling the potatoes.

Eren comes back form the bathroom and sits at the table, waiting for Carla to announce dinner. All the while Mikasa sets the table, waiting for her chance.

When it comes, she wastes no time on hinting or being coy. "Eren wants to join the Survey corps." She says simply. There was no accusation in her voice. Eren was in the middle of devouring his food while Grisha eats his in a reserved manner. Carla had cleaned up.

Eren slams his bowl down. "You said you wouldn't tell!"

"Eren!" Carla's eyes widen. She rushes over to Eren's side. "How could you?!"

"Why not? You're always on my case about the future! Well, this is what I choose!" he responds.

Grisha stands then. Whatever argument Carla was about to say dies on her lips. "I'm off, Carla." Grisha says. He picks up his briefcase and his hat before heading for the door. "Hold on! Talk some sense into your son!" Carla proclaims. She rushes after him.

Grisha pauses at the door. Turning back to his family, he speaks. "Eren, why do you want to join the Survey Corps?"

Another question Eren can't answer absolutely honestly. But he opens his mouth and says. "Because I want to see the outside world! I've heard about it in stories, but it's not enough!" Eren looks up at his father. "I want to- no, I have to- see it for myself." His eyes flash.

Ah. Grisha cover's his face with his hat.

It seems…

…it would come to pass, just as she had said…

…I've made a mistake…Grisha thinks.

"I see." He puts on his hat. "Good-bye, dear, I'll be back in three days."

"Grisha!" Carla scolds. "I can't stop a man's curiosity, love. Only satisfaction can do that." He kisses her on the cheek. "Eren."

Eren looks at him again. "When I get back," he holds up his necklace with the basement key dangling on the end. "I'll show you the basement."

That gets his excited. 'Really?"

Grisha nods. He leaves then. His family walks him out the door and stands on the steps as he walks away. Eren waves at his retreating back and wishes him luck while Mikasa and Carla remain motionless. As soon as he disappears, Carla grabs her son's shoulders. She turns him to face her and removes her mask of calamity to reveal intense fear and worry. "Eren, you mustn't think about such things." She speaks, hushed and hurried. "You cannot join the Survey crops-"

Eren smacks her hands away. "Stop telling me what to do!" he shouts before running off.

"Eren!" Carla calls after him. But he's gone, disappearing behind his treasured alleys and back ways, Mikasa's small back following close behind him.

* * *

"What are you doing up here, Levi?"

Levi glances back, pausing in chewing the stalk of grass in his mouth. "Come here." He motions at the figure hidden behind the forage of branches and leaves. She takes hesitant step forward. "Stop messing around, Lyn. Get you constipated ass over here and look at this."

She smiles at him. "How can I resist such temptation?" she says, before stepping forward. He watches as she emerges, smooth hands and brown skin evolving from green. her uniform- a dark grey jacket under the military issued leather jacket hikes up her waist and she pulls it down. She shakes her head, her blonde bangs shining in the sunlight. She blinks at the same abrupt sunlight in her eyes before looking down.

"….it's bright." She comments softly.

"No shit." Levi scoffs. "It's the middle of the day."

"Ah, once again, your powers of observation serve you well." She says seriously. But then she hisses as Levi smack her in the back of the head.

"Shut up, you little shit." She raises an eyebrow but makes no comment. She was smarter than that. Levi looks out to the view again, turning the stalk in his mouth.

It was almost picture perfect- the sun was shining warmly, vast treetops reaching for the sky, birds hopping from one branch to the next, reminding him of school children. In fact, they sounded exactly the same, too, now that he thinks of it. Annoying sets of twirls and whistles and tweeting was all he ever heard when he passed by them. The same sounds, repeated over and over until you couldn't tell the difference between them.

To save himself from further irritation of old memories, Levi looks up at the sky. Cloud-watching was one of his few past times, when he wasn't with Petra or Hanji. When Lyn was around, all they would ever do would be watching the clouds. Sometimes they tried to count them, other times they'd make pictures out of them. It was something that only they did, something that was slow and easy and so very relaxing compared to the rush of their short lives. He wished he could live long enough to go cloud watching with Eren.

"Thinking about Eren again?" Lyn asks, reading his mind.

Levi swore that every time she did that he'd never ceased to be amazed and/or shocked. At first he would react, but it grew almost natural that he paid no mind to it. It still scared him shitless, but it was just something she did. One time he asked her and she said it was because she was a people-watcher as well as a cloud-watcher. "When you watch people as long as I have," she said, "behaviors become predictable. When you think of Eren you get this forlorn look that's barely noticeable." And she gave her small smile and returned to writing on her paper. It wasn't until they were given a day off from training and in their cloud-watching field (Levi came to call it that, since they were the only ones there and all they ever did was lie down and watch the clouds) that Levi asked her to tell him about the people she watched.

She was silent for a while, before opening her mouth and speaking in that soft way of hers. A combination of husky and feminine, motherly and childishly. "It's not all easy to do, since humans aren't always predictable." She began. "They still surprise me." And then she spoke of so many different people, so many different things while the clouds blazed across the sky. Levi listened to her words and the sound of her voice and Lyn just kept talking.

Her talking didn't turn into the annoying tweets of birds, or into the repetitive sound a squirrel makes when it hunts for food. It just remained so…peaceful. Her voice almost lulled him to sleep when she suddenly asked, "Tell me about your Eren."

The way she said it, "_Your_ Eren," made his chest fill with some strange emotion. It felt like pride, but that couldn't be it. "He's just a brat I watched over." he had said then. But she rolled over and looked at him. Her gaze had told of her disbelief, and he sighed. "He's probably the most stubborn, annoying child I have ever met." He began. "and my best friend. My brat." He looked up to the sky, imaging Eren's face. Lyn made no sound. So from mid-afternoon until sunset Levi filled the silence, speaking of Eren with praise and then disgust, devotion and dislike. She made comments now and then, some funny, some stupid, and others…wise.

She never laughed at him. She always watched him with her deep brown gaze that he often mistook as red. She always laughed at his constipation jokes and spoke to him with respect. Not the kind that his classmates used; trying to please him so they could say they were friends with the genius Levi. She spoke to him like a younger sibling while he treated her like a clueless older sibling. He always enjoyed their talks and more often than not yearned to speak with her.

It wasn't as though Levi was ignoring Petra. Their relationship was strong. They held hands when they could and they shared several kisses. Petra made him laugh. Her helplessness was endearing; it always coaxed a smile or a chuckle from his lips. But there were some things he couldn't bring himself to talk to her about, and the biggest subject was Eren. Hanji was no good either. She was his best friend, and he loved both her and Petra dearly. But Lyn was just…

Closer than that. He trusted her with her secrets. He knew she was holding out on him but he respected her wishes. She'd tell him when the time was ready-

"Levi?"

He blinks. "Oh shit, sorry. I blanked out." He rubs his head. Lyn chuckles at him before sitting down on the branch. "It's alright," Lyn says. "I've been that way too."

Levi looks at her. "Thinking about graduation?" She nods. Levi sits down next to her. "What are you going to do?" he looks at her arm, the patches of sunlight making her brown skin glow.

Lyn was, as he said last time, no good at being a soldier. He asked her once with Hanji why she was here and she said she had nowhere else to she wanted to be. Finding no disagreement with that, he left it be. But Hanji asked, "What do you mean by that?"

Lyn had stared at Hanji before smiling and reaching a hand up and petting her head. "Dogs shouldn't be asking questions when their owners give them orders." She teased. Hanji's chest puffed up; like a bird does when you mess with its nest. She spilled out threats. "I'm NOT a dog!" she protested. Lyn and Petra had laughed. Hanji fumed even more, yelling at Petra to not encourage her.

"What section do you want to join?" Levi asks. Lyn laughs. "Well, Military police is defiantly out of the question, and I'd just be a liability if I joined Survey Corps, and I'm _so_ not going into garrison squad." She scrunches her nose as she says "garrison squad."

"They're just a bunch of lazy old bats." She argues. Levi looks at her, amused. "You're going to have to choose soon. It's only in a few days."

She sighs. "I know."

They turn quiet. Lyn swung her legs back and forth, watching her feet. Levi watches her. her dark eyelashes cover her eyes. its was hard to read what Lyn was thinking. though she thought much like Levi, she certainly never acted like it. he didn't know what she wanted to do. but he did know what _he_ wanted her to do, and that was join Garrison squad. she'd be safe and far away from the dangerous of the outside. Finally, she speaks again.

"The commanding officer asked me if I'd like to stay and help train other troops. I could get more work done on my maneuvers while I demonstrate." She looks at Levi. "Of course that'd mean you'd be on your own in the Survey corps-"

"I won't be alone," Levi says quickly. "I've got Hanji and Petra. And I can more than handle myself, so don't worry about me." He grabs Lyn's hand. "But you…" he looks into her gaze. "You'll be alone."

She smiles at him. "I'll be fine. Like you said, I can handle myself. Besides, I'm not the one going out to fight titans." She reminds him, her smile slipping.

He gives her a pointed look. "Don't try to fucking stop me." He warns. She shakes her head. "That's not it. I know I wouldn't be able to stop you. But still, promise me you'll be as safe as you can be, and come back not in pieces?" She grabs his hand with both of hers, her warm brown skin wrapping around his pale hand. " I do care for you enough to not see you missing an arm or a leg."

"What are we dating now or something?" Levi jokes. "What's with the constipated look?" he tries to lighten the mood. But she remains somber.

He lets his small grin slip. "I made this kind of a promise 5 years ago. The person I promised was frantic, not wanting me to leave them behind. So we exchanged rings," he held his necklace. He had never let anyone see it before, so he was nervous and shaking slightly. But Lyn looks at it before flicking her gaze back to him. "The ring's a representation of the promise that we'd always find each other, if not now, then in the future." Well, it was implied, but still. "So I'll make a promise to you, Lyn. I'll always come back, not in pieces, no matter what, and remain as safe as I can be."

He tucks the ring back under his shirt. "All right? So stop looking so constipated. You'll make me sick."

She laughs. "Levi, you get sick about everything." She watches him take out a handkerchief and wipe his hands. Without a word, they begin to climb down the tree.

"_I'm _certainly not getting this dumbass sickness everyone's getting. _You _may be fine with it, but I'm not."

"Oh, and what sickness is that?"

"Can't you guess?" he says as they climb down the tree.

"Is it constipation?" she jumps to the floor, landing silently on the balls of her feet.

"No." he says, dusting off his pants. "Stupidity."

* * *

_Where have I heard those words before?_ Eren thinks, running. He felt as if he was running, not from something, but _towards_ something. Or someone. Which made no sense. Eren's head becomes fuzzy again. _Where have I heard those words before? _He repeats, the question spinning around and around in his head like a maddening clock. He recalls the time where he sat all day watching the clock in his father's office. He remembers the slow trekking of the big hand, the smaller hand moving at a snails' pace. But the pencil-thin hand moved so quickly. That was how his head felt, only sped up to a lightning-fast pace.

He groans and slows to a stop, his hand reaching up to his forehead.

"What am I forgetting?" he asks, knowing no one could answer that but himself.

* * *

_**A/n: thank you for your reading. *bows***_


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/n: Dewa arimasen- means "was"**_

_**Dewa arimasendeshita- means "was not"**_

_**words my spell check apparently hate; "to be" "Eren" "Mikasa" "Boner" "Over and over again" "nuzzles" "Sighs" "sinisterly" "Son" "weak" "Hannes" 'Serah" "reveal"**_

* * *

(Reiner's p.o.v.)

It was so hot.

Well of course it fucking was. It was mid-summer and he was sitting out in broad daylight wearing full-length pants _and _a long sleeve shirt for _God's sake_. Of _course_ it'd be fucking _hot_. But he didn't regret being out here, in the meadow he found on his own.

He had found it on one of the days where he just couldn't deal with his "family" and ran away as he always does when he doesn't know how to deal. It had been near the end of winter then; the snow was soft and crunched under his feet as he walked, with few spare patches free of snow where new grass grew. He could easily see tracks from herds of deer and stray bobcats. The reason he said "stray" was because most predators were either crazy or half-starved and desperate if they came close to here. But the prey seemed to sense the true danger and used his family's "protection" as a safeguard. At least _they_ found a way to utilize his family to the fullest. He snorted.

Anyways, he had found the meadow then. The first time he shrugged it off and continued walking. But after a few more times of just passing it by during the spring, he noticed how relaxing it had seemed. He remembered the first time he realized it. The flowers, swaying ever-so gently in a spring breeze, beckoning, calling out to him, the clouds' whispered greetings from the blue sky above, the trees' raspy laughter as the breeze tickled their leaves. The grass, and to this day he can swear, had seemed to reach up tiny arms in a silent invitation to stop and rest, to forget. The message was as silent as it was loud. He shook his head then at his romantic mind and walked away. But once again, he eventually found himself stopping to look at it.

It wasn't until 2 years later when he answered nature's call. He laid down in the inviting grass, its tiny arms cradling him, the flowers stroking his hair, the breeze singing sweet lullabies and promises into his ear. And right then, he realized, he began to relax. He tolerated his family a bit more. As long as he could get away and disappear into the quiet meadow, he could deal with his family. He never allowed anyone to follow him, since he considered the meadow his own. It had called out to him, no one else, therefore it was rightfully his.

Then came the time of "The Call."

He became extremely possessive of his meadow then. He'd snap at _anyone _who was following him, sending murderous glances over his shoulder at them as they walked. The meadow was his safe place, where he could be alone and release the urges he had suppressed the whole day. He never took a mate. Sure, he had the occasional romp in the hay, but he made sure it never escalated to the point of bonding or knotting. The meadow was his freedom. And within it he sated his hunger shamefully and yet without regret. He remembered looking at his hand afterwards and swearing he'd never be mated.

But the fates, in their cunning way, fixed his wish.

Fate introduced-well, _re_-introduced- his old friend. Hert had grown up in his time away, now standing far taller than Reiner himself. And he had turned from looking cute to looking like "_hot damn massive boner_ "as Ymir would say. He preferred to think of it was extremely attractive, but Ymir's description fitted his old friend perfectly.

Fate made it so that whenever he stood close his body would flash into a pleasurable heat, warming even more so at every touch, every glance shared. Made him desperate for the merest sign of acknowledgement, yearning for his face in the crowd of his "family." He had thought back then that it would never be something more, since his friend apparently had a mate already. At least, it seemed to be, so he tried to keep his heart from falling even more so down the hill. He felt like that one Greek tragedy where that dude, as punishment for some crime, had to roll a large stone up a hill. It was incredibly simple, and the man did it. But every time he reached the top, the stone rolled from his hands and went down the hill again, forcing him to repeat the process. It was exactly how he felt as he tried to hold back his feelings.

But eventually, feelings were made bare and walls were ripped down to show the truth. And instead of being thrown away, he was picked up in his old friend's arms and cradled like a child. Into his ear Hert whispered words of bittersweet love and gentle praise. Reiner cried and wrapped his arms around his friend's-no, future mate's shoulders in joy.

But fate, once again, betrayed him. They had made it so their true forms couldn't mate, his mate's true height far exceeding his. It was impossible for them to be mated without possibly killing the shorter, so they had to settle with be joined in their human forms. The shorter watched on jealously as the others mated and felt that bliss of completion he could only dream about. One was not considered bonded and bound and mated until you joined in your true forms. He could feel flashes, whispers, of the denied bond whenever they made love. Especially in the meadow.

The meadow ceased to be his alone once they confessed, and he found he enjoyed having his mate with him there. Often he'd find himself wishing desperately for the world to stop, just _stop._ For time to give them more of these moments, these shared feelings of joy. The denied bond hummed and whipped in the back of his mind in sound agreement. But the fates remained silent, doing no more and no less. He eventually found a sort of contentment with the situation, smiling more and more as he realized his misfortunes and luck. His mate was a big help as well; always leaving a vase of flowers or surprising him with breakfast in bed.

He was really fucking _lucky_ to find his true mate and his mate was sweet. In the mornings they'd share lazy kisses and link hands in quiet contentment. Afternoons were a tossup between going on walks or separating to go on jobs. At those times they spent at least an hour whispering good-byes and lingering kiss in promise of return. Their hands clung to each other, silently expressing their desperate feelings in case they didn't return. His heart clenched painfully each time.

Evenings were spent on the couch or doing chores. Sometimes they fought; it was normal and was always a heated match that stepped into dangerous lines. And afterwards was rough make-up sex, wild and unrestricted. Those were the times they didn't care where they were as long as they were together. Hert would hold him and mark him so painfully but treasure and worship his body just so that Reiner liked it. Especially the apology sex afterwards.

And he knew. He knew his mate would sometimes send a sad glance down the empty hall littered with empty rooms. Every home had those rooms. But unlike in theirs, the rooms were filed with children, squealing and screaming like animals as they played. Their hallway had been silent for so long. Often when he was at home he'd watch as the sun shine in the window on the hallway, making it seem even sadder and forbidden. It was the reason he went to meadow alone so often back then. He had felt he wasn't doing his partner right. But now…

He felt movement in his stomach and placed an absent hand over it, soothing. Now, he was. He smiled as he looked down at this stomach. "Listen, you." He whispered, rubbing small circles. "I've waited a long time for you to come, so don't you dare think of backing out. You're gonna be born and I'm gonna smile at you and Hert'll snatch you up and spin you around-don't worry, I'll scold him and snatch you right back. Then we'll…" he kept talking, whispering promises and praise to the small life within.

"Nie!" his mate called.

He shifted his head to the side to see Hert running up to him. He smiled, reaching a hand out to him as he came closer. Hert linked their hands together as he sat down beside him, kissing him on his cheek. "How are you today?" he whispers, flicking a glance down to Reiner's stomach. He chuckled. "You asked me that this morning."

"Yes I did." Hert said simply as he slid his fingers over his chest and down. Reiner gives him a look and Hert smiles cheekily. "My answer's still the same."

"Oh? It's still," Bert pauses to make vomit noises before laughing at Reiner's angered expression.

"That's it! You don't get to hold my baby in the morning!" Reiner proclaims. He rolls away from his laughing mate to hide his embarrassment. Hert's laugher quickly dies to a chuckle as he reaches over. His hands are only able to wrap around Reiner's side before they're smacked away. "Come on, Nie, I was only joking." He says. Reiner still refuses to budge.

Hert sighs and sits back, trying to make up his mind on a way to approach his lover. He looks over at the hand on Reiner's stomach. It was relaxed and protective, as if Reiner wasn't really thinking about it when he put his hand there. Hert grins.

"Ka-san~" He calls softly. His hands once again reach for Reiner's side. What he said seems to have surprised Reiner or pleased him because he doesn't push him away. Hert lays down and angles their bodies close in a cuddle. His mouth finds Reiner's sensitive ear while his hands cover Reiner's over his stomach. His fingers slip in between his. "Ka-san~" Hert says again, whispering into Reiner's ear before kissing and nipping the lobe.

Reiner blushes. "S-stop-"

"No." he says. He kisses his cheek. "Ka-san~"

"Stop!" he's proud his voice doesn't stutter.

"Make me." Hert smirks. "Ka-san~"

Reiner, finally deciding enough was enough, rolls over in his mate's arms and kisses him to shut him up. Hert responds eagerly, tongue diving in to taste and savor. They moan quietly into each other's mouths. Reiner whines when Hert pulls away, his eyes pleading. Hert complies, kissing him again, albeit chastely. When he pulls back again Reiner buries his head in Hert's chest. He likes how shy Hert gets when they're around people, then so affectionate when they were alone. Since he spent years up in the mountains with others who shared his unique powers, he still had the idea of keeping affection private. The only public affection he'd show was when he stood close behind Reiner's shoulder.

They're quiet again; each simply enjoying the other's company. Hert rubs his chin on his mate's head while Reiner nuzzles his chest now and then. He considers nosing his nipple but thinks better of it.

"What were you thinking about, when I was walking up here?" Hert says suddenly.

Reiner pauses. "I…was just reminiscing."

Hert pulls him closer. "Any bad memories?"

"Not after you. Not after us." Reiner sends a hand down to touch his stomach. "I was just about to think about this little one."

A hand follows Reiner's, placed underneath his and fingers splayed out. Hert growls gently, and Reiner lets his ear soak up the pleasurable rumble. Hert begins to rubs soothing circles over a pain Reiner's sure he felt through the bond. "Do you…remember how we became mates?" Reiner says quietly.

His fingers stop. "Yes." Hert says slowly.

"I…its time. I had the dream last night." Reiner says, closing his eyes as he waits for Hert's outburst.

It doesn't come.

Reiner opens a hesitant eye to look up at his world. The man's eyes are wide and Reiner feels his bruising grip around his wrist. But he has to congratulate Hert on keeping his power in check.

"Are you sure?" Hert says harshly. Reiner nods. "That was one of the reasons I was throwing up." Hert curses and pulls Reiner closer. Reiner nibbles on his neck in response.

"How can that be?" Hert rants aloud. "You're still with a child!" Reiner chuckles bitterly at Hert's choice of words.

"He never said when, remember? Just how." Reiner consoles him. "Yes, but-" Hert cuts himself off. "I just…"

Reiner leans back to look him in the eye. "You don't want me to do this?" His eye brows furrow angrily. "You want our child to-"

"No! That's not _what_ I want!" Hert states loudly. His eyes glare into Reiner's before softening. He buries his face into Reiner's neck then, whispering, "It's just not _how_ I want it to be." Reiner's hands come up to tangle in his mates' hair, and that's how he notices him shivering. He closes his eyes pitifully.

Hert's hands tighten painfully on his shoulders. "You're not doing this alone."

"Wasn't even planning on it, bud." Reiner agrees, slipping in Hert's old nickname accidentally.

"In fact, you're not allowed to go."

"What?!" Reiner pushes Hert back. "What did you say?!"

Hert sets his determined gaze on him. "You're not going."

"Why?!"  
"Our child, Reiner, because of our child!" he places his hand over his stomach again. "Someone has to give birth to it, be there for it, love it, nurture it, watch it grow up and become an adult." Hert's gaze holds his mate's. "And by God, I'm not carrying. I can't control that but I can control if you go or not. If you get killed or the baby gets hurt, I'll have no one to blame for myself." He grabs Reiner's hand and kisses it. "I promised you that wherever you went, I'd follow. But I can't let you do this. I'll go."

Reiner softens at the sight of his mate. His scared look, his fragile state. _All over the possibility of losing _me, Reiner thinks. He pushes his face close to brush noses with his love. Hands find and cradle each other's face as Reiner whispers, "And the same goes for me. If you go, how will I live with myself? How will I take care of our child when we agreed to raise it together? How would I answer questions about his parents? What would I say?" Reiner kisses him. "We can't do this. We're not fighting over this. I won't allow this to be the last we say to each other. It's going to be like old times.

"Either we're both in," Reiner pulls back to give him a look. "Or it's no deal. Right?"

Hert smiles softly. "Yes." He kisses his forehead. "Right."

* * *

"Listen!" the preacher began, as he took his place in the market. His was a sorry sight; peasant clothes, a wooden box as his platform. The only proof to his religion was the necklace he wore, as well as the words he spoke.

He was a common sight in the market place. In fact, it would be stranger if he wasn't there, shouting words and commands to passerby's in hopes of striking fear and respect. He did not seek such things for _himself_, per say, but he _did_ want people to join in his faith. For isn't that what all humans want? Companionship in all life's problems, all life's hope?

And maybe it would give him _some_ respect in his religion if he brought in the most followers. And it _would_ be nice if people listened to his world, revered it, desired his knowledge and sought his wisdom. Such things wouldn't hurt anyone, right?

"It was by God's great wisdom that the walls were built! The walls are his divine work!" he shouts. But people continue to pass him by without a second glance. They've heard these words over and over, thousands of times. But if you asked them to recite the words they won't be able to. It's more of _knowing _the words than _memorizing_ them. The words were familiar, as constant as the sun and the moon, and as such they were easily forgotten and remembered.

"No one must be allowed to defile the walls!" the preacher survey's the crowd, hiding his desperation in finding someone, anyone who was taking his words seriously. Finding no face looking back at him, he looks back at the wall.

"No one-!" and he gasps at a flash of light, and a red hand that appears on the wall.

_It's time…_the voice whispers. Mikasa stops next to Armin and looks up.

_For the beginning of the end…._

* * *

_Chapter 5, episode one: _

_To you, in 2000 years-__**The Fall, part 2**_

* * *

_If a soldier is __seriously__ doing his job, then things have __seriously__ gone to hell._

_Hannes_

* * *

(Eren's p.o.v., before the fall)

Strange. Eren sniffs the air. Why do I smell…?

Alcohol…?

"Did Mikasa get on your case about somethin'?" a voice says behind him. Eren turns around quickly only to see Hannes. "Oh. It's just you. Whoa, you reek of alcohol!" he plugs his nose in the hopes to making the scent disappear. Hannes just shrugs. "You've been drinking again….even when I told you how much I hate it!"

Once again, Hannes just shrugs. It's not as if he hates the kid, even if he was strange. He was just too drunk to care. In fact, he even smirks. "You wanna join in?"

Eren shakes his head. _Smart kid_, Hannes thinks. "Aren't you on gate duty?" he shakes his head. "I was, when you were there earlier. By the way, I've gotta explain somethin'." He leans in closer to Eren, despite the disgust on his face. He cared about the boy, so he felt he was obligated to give him a reason for earlier. "We were stuck there all day, alright? So we ended up getting hungry and thirsty. If a little booze gets in, who cares?" he ruffles Eren's hair and leans back, smirking.

Eren smacks his hand away and tries to fix his hair. But a thought occurs to him and he stops. "What if…something happens?" Eren says, thinking about Armin and his words. His eye widen.

"Whatdaya mean, 'If something happens'?" Hannes looks down at him, confused. With his hands still on his head, forgotten, and a wide fearful gaze, he was freaking the hell outta him.

"What if…they do break down the walls, and get inside?" a hand falls down while the other remains on his head. His gaze wavers as he tries to imagine what would happen. For some reason, he thought back to the dream he had earlier. That man…the one he held in his arms, and cried so pitifully for…

"Eren? Eren, what are you saying?" Hannes steps back, suddenly very afraid. Mikasa suddenly shows up, darting to Eren's side quickly. She shoots a spare accusing glance at Hannes before reaching to Eren. A sound stops her reaching hands.

A shout. Voices start to yell from far away. Eren looks towards the direction they came from. "Armin…" he whispers worriedly. He runs off then, and Hannes is forced to reach after him. "O-Oi! Eren!" he calls, but the boy doesn't look back.

* * *

(Eren's p.o.v., 30 minutes before the Fall)

"Shut up!" the boy shouts again, fist raise to hit Armin again. He flinches but does his best to hold his ground against the bully. His hands are preoccupied with prying the chokehold on his neck.

"You can't answer, right?! That means you have to resort to violence! Because you can't answer back!" Armin shouts weakly. The boy grits his teeth again while his friends sneer at Armin. One spits on the ground.

"Oi!" a new voice shouts. They all look towards Eren, running toward them. They grin, praising their good luck in finding two objects to unleash their anger upon. "Eh? Back for more, Yeager?" one taunts his fists up. Yet one notices a figure running behind Eren.

"h-hey…i-is-isn't that-"the figure glares at them from over Eren's shoulder, _clearly_ not in the mood for them.

"Mikasa!" the boys pull shit faces before tripping over each other in an attempt to escape. By the time Eren reaches Armin they're gone, yelling promises over their shoulder to get them tomorrow.

"Hah! Look at that! One look at me and they were goners!" Eren grins proudly. Mikasa, as always, says nothing.

"Most likely they saw Mikasa and ran…" Armin mutters under his breath. It was loud enough for Eren to hear, yet he forgoes it in favor of helping Armin up. He steps forward and offers a hand. "Here"

Armin jumps a little at the offered hand, but then gets up and dusts his pants off. "I can get up by myself too, you know…"

"O-oh!" Eren stutters, thinking he offended him. Then he remembers Armin's huge pride. He groans under his breath. "I never doubted that, Armin." The blonde ignores him.

* * *

(Eren's p.o.v., 3 minutes before the Fall)

"So what's up? You all look gloomy." Armin says. Eren throws a rock into the river. "Mikasa ratted me out to my parents about my dream of joining the survey corps. " He glares pointedly at her (which she ignores) before throwing another stone into the river. "Ah…" Armin says, watching the waves coming from where the stone landed in the water. For some reason Eren get angry again. "This sucks!"

The other two look back at him. "What?" Armin asks.

"I just want to see the outside world! Why does everyone not want me to go?!" a thought passes fleetingly by Eren's mind and he looks at Armin. Armin hadn't told him no. In fact, it was Armin who inspired him to see the outside world, through the books he owned. The sea of flames, an ice-covered land…"I want to see it…" Eren says, clenching his fist.

"I want to see the outside world!" he shouts to the sky.

_And, as it seems, the outside world want to see you too, Eren Yeager._

Huh? Who said that? He thinks

A laugh. Then, _I am all around you, can't you see?_

The earth begins to shake. "w-what?" Eren says, falling on his butt. Mikasa tries to soften his pratfall but misses, and tries to get him back up while maintaining her own balance. The shake ends just as quickly as it began.

A flash of green thunder blinds them but for a moment, and the trio blink and grunt at the momentary pain and adjustment. Eren grits his teeth as his sight returns while Mikasa covers her eyes with the shadow of her hand, the only testament to her struggle. Armin has to cover his eyes for a few seconds. But they are all blinking again, confused and shocked as to what just happened. "Earthquake…" Armin supplies quietly.

They suddenly hear voices from close by. The trio looks over to see people running and gathering in the square. "What's going on?" Eren asks. Armin looks over, confused as well, before widening his eyes and racing towards the crowd. '"Armin!" Eren shouts after him. He gets up and runs after him. That little guy was fast when he wanted to be, and he was already at the square when Mikasa and Eren caught up to him.

"Armin? What wrong? Why did you suddenly run off like that-" He notices Armin's shaking, and tries to call his attention, but the blonde's too busy looking up at the wall to notice Eren. So he follows the path of his gaze. And suddenly, he too, is shaking, mouth open in shock and horror.

Up, up, high above, Eren looked face-to-face with God as he grabs hold of Wall Maria. He watches the judgment pass through his face before he kicks through the wall-

"No…"

* * *

(Levi's p.o.v., 2 days After the Fall (AF))

Forgive me for saying this, but…I had a nightmare again.

It's always the same. Military issued swords all around me, covered with fresh blood. And I'm standing in the fucking center of it all like some sort of meister, a blade in my hand. I'm running towards something-I never know _what_ it is, I just know I am. And I feel…as if I running out of time, I have to hurry I have to go I have to-have to what? I suddenly stop as the question appears in my mind. And then the scene changes before me, and I'm back at the brats' house. There's this girl there…I don't know her, but I feel as if I've met her before. She has black hair and wears a red scarf I gave to Eren when he wouldn't stop whining about the cold. The shitty brat.

Eren's there, too, getting scolded by his mother about firewood or a chore he didn't do right. And Grisha's right there, drinking tea over some report he made about a patient. The atmosphere's relaxing, and every time I start to relax as well even when I know what's coming next. I even sit down at the table. Then the roof caves in above us and I hear the screams.

I'm outside the house, perfectly fine, but no one else is. There's blood everywhere; on the floor, on the trampled walls, the ceiling, the stairs, everywhere. Carla's crushed under the threshold, Eren can't be found, Grisha's missing. I should be moving, I should be helping, I should be doing _something, anything,_ other than stand there. Scarf-girl rushes forwards and tries to help Carla but can't and suddenly the girl's gone and I just don't _move_-

As a titan steps forward out of the mass of houses and sites her. If possible, his shitty sick grin and constipated look becomes even sicker, as he steps forward and digs through the rubble like a dog. I'm helpless, stuck, frozen in time. I'm forced to watch as he picks her up _and she thrashes and hits his hand and in response he breaks her back and she goes limp as he brings her to his mouth and oh god oh god oh god-_

Her blood splatters everywhere as he eats her. A large drop sails right through me and splatters on the floor behind me.

And usually it end there, but this time, it went further-

_The titan digs again in the rubble. Searching, searching, searching-for what? There was no one else there-_

_The titan picks something up and its head and hold it up to his mouth. I widen my eyes at the site of the small boy and realize its Eren-_

"_Eren!" I scream_

_He put up more of a fight then his mother, and just the same, his back is broken and he goes limp as his sea green eyes widen and he watches himself get eaten alive-_

"Eren!"

I wake up then. I'm reaching my arm out, as if I could reach Eren in my dreams and save him. The palm of my hand smacks my forehead and I gasp for breath quietly. Thoroughly shaken from my dream, I get out of bed. Petra moans quietly before rolling to the other end. I chuckle quietly at her before heading for the window. The moon was full tonight. Maybe that's why my nightmare was weird. Some weird moon-shit was going on-ha. Moon-shit. I snort. Then I shake my head. Get your shit together, Levi, I tell myself. I turn from the window.

"Levi?"

Alright, I'll admit. I jumped. Spare me your bullshit. I just had a nightmare that'd scare even the bravest man and-

I hiss inwardly. I sounded like a brat.

I turn to the window. "What?" I snap.

"It me, Lyn." The voice beckons. I open the window. "This had better be good, you little shit. Or I swear I'll-"

"Levi, it's about Shinshinga." The moonlight makes her seem like a shadow, her face darken beyond recognition. "what about it?" I rub my eye. She opens her mouth, then closes it, losing her nerve. "I'm sorry." She says somberly, bowing her head. I blink at her. "I bothered you so late a tonight when you were sleeping. I apologize. It can wait until morning." She's about to leave when I stop her.

"Lyn."

She pauses.

"Lyn," I continue. "turn around." I cross my arms as she turns. Her eyes stay on the floor. "Obviously this couldn't wait until morning. I know you, Lyn. You're not one of those girls who talk about shit all day long. If you came just now to tell me something, then it's really fucking important and you better tell me it instead of saying you'll tell me tomorrow." She nods. I look at her patiently. "Now, tell me what's so important you had to come to me _right now."_

She gulps audibly and speaks like a juror does when he reads a sentence.

"It's Shinshinga, Levi. It's been overrun by titans. In fact, we've lost all of Wall Maria."

I blink.

* * *

(Eren's p.o.v., during the Fall)

In the distance, you can hear them.

A low growl, a low hiss as they step forward. They pass through the large hole warily, unbelieving it to be open. But as they make the trek so many humans made before them, making it safely to the other side, they smile sinisterly. One after another make it inside. The ground shakes under their weight, and their lengthy stride brings them closer and closer to the frozen crowds.

Eren gasps.

A man's been crushed under a large piece of rubble, his wife and child calling out for help. But they were too blind to see there was no helping him. He was dead. Bodies covered the floor, squashed and broken from the force of the kick. A woman had flown into a building and was dropped from its 3 story height to her death below. A man's ribs were crushed, his heart exploded. Blood, blood, and more blood. Almost like the dream…

"Ka-san." Eren says suddenly. His mind finally gets to work, thinking of what they should do. "Oka-san." _Move feet, move!_ He shouts at his limbs. They do his bidding, slowly, one foot at a time. _Faster!_ He steps through the waves of people as they run past him towards safety. One step, two steps.

"Eren! What are you doing?!" Armin shouts. Mikasa finally snaps out of her shock to see Eren walking towards the titans.

"My house is over there!" Eren shouts over his shoulder. His feet finally relent and he breaks into a run, heading through the back alleys and navigation through the destruction of human-kind. Armin watches him leave in shock, and calls after Mikasa as she runs after Eren. "How…?" Armin whispers. _How can you do this?!_ He thinks. He covers his face with his hands, shaking in his shoes. "What can I do…?" he whispers pitifully.

Eren runs around a boulder. _It'll be alright,_ he reassures himself. _It's still standing. I'll just run around the corner and Ka-san will be there and the house is still standing- _he turns a corner.

He gasps, before running faster.

"Ka-san!"

The house was in shambles; the second floor finally meeting the first thanks to several boulders. It looked almost comical, compared to its still standing neighbor. But Eren was too focused on his mother to think about anything else. "Ka-san!" he calls. He hears no reply.

Then, "Eren…?" a voice says weakly from below.

He looks down to see his mother being crushed under the weight of the threshold. "Ka-san!" he cries. He immediately gets on his knees and tries to lift the beam on his own. But he's too young, and the beams too heavy even for a grown man. "Mikasa! Help me!" he shouts over his shoulder. She gets down and tries to help, but they're still too weak. Yet Eren's determined. "Again!"

Carla, however, is in despair. She knows. She's known all along, despite her husbands' careful planning. And this was her punishment. For having let him try to stop it, instead of letting it happen, they've made it worse, much, much worse, than it should be. Fate was a cruel master. And now, she was to lose her children…

_There is a way to stop it, you know_. A young woman's voice whispers in her mind.

How?

_...you know how. The law has never changed in the time you were gone. _Ghost fingers trail over her cheek, tucking her hair behind her ear.

You mean…?

_Yes…regretfully, that is the price you must pay if you wish for them to live. _

So then…

…

I'll do it. As long as my son, my daughter both survives, I'll pay the price. "Eren." Carla calls. Her son doesn't answer as he grits his teeth. His fingers were aching, bruised and bleeding, but he couldn't feel it. "Eren, take Mikasa and run from here." She orders.

"No! I won't! I won't leave you!" he shouts, still trying to lift the beam. "Even if you lift the beam, my legs are still crushed!"

"Then I'll carry you!"

"You stupid boy! Why can't you ever listen to your mother?!" she scolds him, eyes glaring holes through his skull. He ignores her and tries again helplessly. Seeing that she wouldn't get through to him, she turned to Mikasa. "Mikasa…please…take Eren and run." But she, too, doesn't listen. She fixes a determined glare on Carla and helps Eren. "Mikasa, please!"

"Carla?!" a new voice shouts. The three all look to see Hannes running towards them. "Hannes! Hannes, take Eren and Mikasa and get them somewhere safe!" Carla cries. But someone decided that today of all days would be when no one listened to her. He was about to kneel down when the ground shook again. Everything stops as they feel the titan come, closer and closer. The children look up to see the walking skeleton with a sinister smile take slow, long steps towards them.

"Hannes, please!" Carla pleads desperately. He looks down to shoot her a smirk. "Don't worry, Carla! I slay the titan and come back to save you all!" he gets up and unsheathes his swords, running towards the titan. Eren watches him in amazement, momentarily impressed. Then he looks back down with renewed strength and tries again.

Hannes runs towards the titan. _With this, my debt will be repaid!_ He thinks. He's proud himself at finally finding a way to repay for all the Yeager family had done for him. He feels like he can lift the world on his shoulders-

Until the titan fixes its eyes on him.

He stops. All feelings of courage are washed out from his body and are replaced with fear. He can't do it. What if he died? How's he to repay his debt then? What good would this do? Even if he killed this one titan, who's to say another won't come? He shakes his head furiously and runs back. He grabs a shocked Eren and throws his over his shoulder, holds Mikasa to his side and runs for it. If he couldn't kill the titan, he could at least save the children.

He can't look back; he can't bring himself to answer Carla when she shouts her gratitude to him. Eren calls out to his mother, reaching out his hand to her as they grow smaller and smaller and farther and farther away.

Carla covers her mouth with her hand, finally let her tears fall. She's afraid, just as anyone would be, when faced with death. She feels the horror rush through her but feels no regrets.

_I am sorry it had to be this way, Carla. Do you blame me for it?_

She can feel the titan's hands as he dig through her home, her house her skin and into her heart to reveal the true her.

No, I don't…I don't blame anyone…

…_I'm sorry, Carla. You are truly an angel among lost souls. _

Funny, how an angel was telling her that.

_Oh, I'm no angel, Carla. You know that. _

Yes, you are. You're just fallen now, your wings ripped from you because you decided to help humanity…

The titan lifts her up and she tries. She put up a fleeting fight. Let it be known that Carla wasn't weak when she met her death.

_I'll remember you. I'll erect a grave by the river for you. _

That's nice….

The titan breaks her back and she goes limp. She watches its mouth open wide and swallow her whole, biting down on her waist.

_Good-bye, sweet Carla…_

* * *

"Serah!"

"Please discard all your belongings! Let as many people on the boat as you can!"

"Has anyone seen my daughter?! Serah! Serah!"

"Please, sir, one at a time!"

Armin searches the crowds from his spot on the boat. _Where was Eren?_

He spots Hannes in the crowd, talking with one of the soldiers. With his hands he held Eren's and Mikasa's. Mikasa was stone-faced while Eren had turned pale and wide-eyed. Armin calls out to them and waves.

"Sit down, Armin." His grandfather says behind him. He looks over his shoulder at him. "But Eren-"

"Leave him be, son." His grandfather says somberly. "He's probably been through a lot today."

Armin says nothing, but makes no move to sit down. He looks again at Eren, watching his friend as he boards the boat.

Eren, however, pays no mind to anyone as he sits down. He's too busy reliving the horrors in his head, words spinning around and around and mixing through the images.

_Eren-_

_Hannes' face shows up-_

_Save them-_

_His mother being eaten-_

_Fight-_

_Armin getting beaten up-_

_Even if you move the beam my legs are crushed-_

_The smile his mother gave his this morning as she woke him up-_

_I won't leave you-_

_The man from his dream, bleeding and smiling at him-_

_In death, all are equal-_

_The bullies running away from them, promising a good beating tomorrow-_

_All that dies shall be reborn-_

_His mother cooking food with Mikasa-_

_With this, my debt will be repaid-_

_His mother hugging him close through a nightmare, singing soft words and gentle reassurance-_

_Ka-san!_

Tears flood Eren's eyes and fall like a waterfall from his face, leaving trails for other tears.

_His mother praising him when he did something right-_

_Oka-san!_

He stares at his hand, bloody and bruised. It looked watery to him.

_His mother teasing him because he couldn't carry as many sticks as Mikasa could-_

_Mom!_

"Ka-san…" he whimpers quietly.

_His mother yelling at him to leave her behind and live-_

"Oka-san…" he calls softly, voice barely above a whisper. His hand comes up to cradle his face and hide his tears.

_The titan._

_The titan picking her up and ripping her from his grasp-_

_Her blood spilling everywhere-_

_You couldn't save her because you lacked the strength-_

_Hannes holding his fist back, looking down at the ground in guilt. _

_And I-_

_Hannes weeping, looking Eren straight in the eye-_

_I couldn't save her because I lacked the courage!_

_Eren reaching desperately for his mother as Hannes carried him away-_

_I'll kill them. _

Eren clenches his hand into a fist. Mikasa watches him, the emotions displayed easily on his face for her to see.

_I'll kill them all. _

He looks up at the sky, swearing his revenge.

_I swear I'll kill every last titan!_

* * *

(Levi's p.o.v., 3 days AF)

Levi screams at the sky until his voice turns too raw.

3 days. 3 days since the fall.

"_At least 300 or fewer survivors-" Lyn continued._

_Levi stops her. "Is Eren-" Lyn was one of the few who knew what he looked like. He showed her once, when he went to visit Eren secretly._

_She shakes her head slowly. "I couldn't find him."_

Eren….

He falls to his knees, his arms swinging uselessly at his side.

Eren…we promised…

The nightmare runs fresh at this mind and he roars again, fingers pulling through his hair. He pulls his hands away from his body and places them on the floor in an attempt to stop hurting himself, but he ends up scratching his hand.

_He ran outside, away from the house, away from Petra. Lyn watched him go, knowing not to interfere. He tripped and fell and scrapped his knee, but he got up again and kept running. It couldn't be-_

_Eren was still-_

_He was waiting for him with his shit face grin-_

_He was-_

_Levi trips again, and this time he doesn't get up. He didn't care where he was, he just didn't have the will to move anymore. Eren…the whole reason for him to continue living, in hopes to see him again, just one more time-_

_He was-_

_He felt like those girls who plucked flowers petals, whispering "he does" then "he doesn't," trying to decide the feelings of the boy she liked. Only instead, he was deciding the fate of Eren._

_He was-_

_He wasn't-_

_He was- _

_He wasn't-_

_Dewa arimasen*-_

_Dewa arimasendeshita-_

_Dewa arimasen-_

_Dewa arimasendeshita-_

_Eren!_

_He had picked himself up then. He walked himself back home, ignoring the looks and stares of the few people as he limped. He entered quietly, knowing Petra was still asleep. Since she was upstairs he didn't try to walk quietly on his way to the bathroom. _

_Once he was in, he leaned on the door and slumped against it, exhausted. Pain finally ran through his head and he grits his teeth. Bu the stopped when he saw the blood from his knee-scrap. The nightmare-_

_Blood-_

_Eren-_

_Oh god oh god oh god-_

_With shaking everything he got up and rushed to grab a towel and the water basin. He couldn't wash the blood away fast enough. Before, he would've shrugged it off and just cleaned and wrapped it up, but now he scrubbed harder, making more blood rush out. He wrapped it quickly once it was clean and even then couldn't look at it. _

_It made him think too much about the dream and Eren dying-_

Even now, he tore off his handkerchief and wraps his hand quickly so he can't see the blood.

He broke up with Petra. He told her all about Eren (except the rings) and about the fall. "I-I can't. I just can't, Petra-"

"Can't what?" she asked softly then.

"I can't love someone else right now…"

She had nodded. He then went on to say that he'd find place else to live, but she refused. "I'm not kicking you out to live on the streets just because you're breaking up with me." She said firmly. She let him move his stuff into a spare room down the hall and convinced her father not to kill him when they broke the news to him. She forgave him. She understood. There was no way he could ever repay her, except get over his grief quickly.

But he feared he never could.

* * *

_(Deleted scene)_

"Close the gate!"

"You idiot! Are you even aiming with that?!" a soldier yells at his subordinate.

"B-but sir! These shots are too explosive to have any aim!"

"I don't care! Get these loaded and ready to fire!"

"Yes, sir!"

"they're closing the gates!" a soldier reports. They all look over to see it close. Some soldiers even start to head to the gate. But their commander stops them.

"get these people through first!" he orders them. They came to their senses and helped the civilians.

A solider tries to help an old man with his cart filled with cabbages. "Please! Save my cabbages!" the old man pleads. But the soldier gives up and throws the old man through the gate. "Sorry, but your life and mine are worth more than a few mangy cabbages!" the soldier tells him.

"_Please! They're my life!"_

"Sorry-"

The ground shakes.

A titan steps forward. His body is far different than the others, and he stands at a 15 meter height. His body has no skin, only muscle. The soldiers gap at him.

"variant…" one classifies.

The commander starts to bark orders. "fire all you got at him! We mustn't let him get close!" the soldiers scramble to relay their orders, firing shot after shot. Some even point guns at the titans and fire.

But the variant titan withstands all the hits he takes. Then he somewhat kneels on the floor, getting into position for something-

_And he bursts into a sprint, running straight for the wall-_

"N_o…" the commander whispers. _

_Nothing can stop this now._

* * *

A pale face smiles. Laughter rings through the destroyed castle hall, past the deserted grounds.

"Looks like I'm winning, Grisha." The voice taunts. Grisha makes no sound, no expression.

"I even got your beloved Carla, too."

_Carla…_

Grisha twitches, but makes no move.

_I was so blind. I'm sorry._

One tear falls from his eye. The only outwardly sign of his inner grief and pain.

_My mate…_

_How I loved you so… _

He blinks, his eyes downcast.

_How I've wronged you so…_

* * *

_**A/n: thank you for your reading. *Bows***_


	7. Chapter 7

_**a/n: hello, my dear readers. **_

_**...**_

_**well, i'll just come right out and say it. please, please, please review! I really want to know what you're thinking of this. **_

_**and please try and draw any scene you'd like from the story. in fact, I want you to, even if you think you don't have the ability to draw. try it. try to picture the scene I try to pin down with words and adjectives. it could be a stick figure drawing to a mona lisa- I don't care. I just really want to know if I'm telling the story right.**_

* * *

(Mikasa's p.o.v., 8 hours BF (Before the Fall))

"Hello, Mikasa." A voice greets her. She turns around to face a young man with pale grey eyes and shoulder length black hair. He bows dramatically at her, smiling as he rises. She doesn't react to his teasing.

"Oh, come now; let's see the pretty little lady smile." She tries. She gives him a forced smile. But he shakes his head. "You look like you're going to kill someone." He reaches over and squashes her cheeks, trying to relax her muscles. "Come on, won't you smile for me?" his face turns comically sad. She half-smiles at him.

"There! Now that's better!" He smiles again.

He sits down monk style on the hillside they stood on. A breeze shifts through his hair and carries the scent of citrus and soap to her nose. But she's hung up over something else that she notices about him. She thinks back to few years ago.

"You…" he looks up at the sound of her voice. "Hmm?"

"…your voice…it's the same…as before." She murmurs.

The man laughs. "What are you talking about?"

"Before…when my parent's died. A voice talked to me. Your voice sounds like that one from before." She stares at him.

"Does it?" he says thoughtfully. He starts to exercise his voice, listening to its sound. "Can't say that I know what you're talking about, though." He finally says.

"That's alright." She says. "I didn't expect you to."

He snorts. "Mikasa, you are one barrel of laughs, you know?"

She hums in response. He offers her his hand. "Won't you sit down with me?" he asks. She looks at his gloved hand and back to him. Seeing no tricks, she takes it. He pulls her to ground next to him as she says, "You know, you never introduced yourself."

"I didn't?"

"No."

"Are you sure? I bet you just weren't listening."

"No, I was. You just said 'Hello Mikasa' and tried to make me smile."

"Oh, really?" he draws. He casts a thoughtful look to the sky, crossing his arms in a comical stance. She watches him again. "Hmm, I'm pretty sure that I did."

She shoots him a glare.

"No, honest!" he lifts his hands in surrender. "I did! You just weren't paying attention."

"So that means you _are_ the owner of the voice." She finishes.

He smiles. "You got me. But how'd you know? Most just get frustrated and give up."

"Simple." She pats his knee playfully. "You said 'Can't say I know what you're talking about,' meaning you _can't_ say it, not _I don't know what you're saying. _Plus, you never said you weren't the voice. You just tested your own voice to understand what I was talking about. "

He smiles at her. "I see. The great Mikasa is not only a barrel of laughs, but a barrel of knowledge, too."

"I prefer not to think of myself as a barrel, thank you."

"Oh? Then what do you think of yourself as?"

She pauses. "I…don't know. "

"Oh? Then you _are_ just another barrel? I'm gonna call you that now, Barrel."

"I'm not a barrel."

"Oh, I beg to differ, Barrel."

She pouts at him. "Is this how you treat ladies?"

"No, this is how I treat barrels."

"You are so-" she can't think of the word. "Ugh!"

'"Awww is the barrel getting angry? You better be careful, or you'll explode and what you're holding within will get everywhere."

"Stop calling me a barrel!"

"Why? it's fun~"

"It's mean!" she cries childishly. She crawls onto his lap like she would when her father was being difficult and made him face the full force of her pout. "You're mean." She states.

He laughs and runs a hand through her hair, petting her head. "I never said I wasn't."

"You never said you were."

"True." He muses. "But then, do all bad people do?"

"No…" She says. "Meaning they must be good people."

"Oh?" His eyebrows shout up. "What makes you think that?"

"They never said they were bad, but they never said they were good, either. That gives them a chance."

He tilts his head. "Gives them a chance for what?"

She pats his cheek motherly. "To choose. Be bad, or be good? Or maybe even both."

"How can you be bad _and_ good, Barrel? Isn't that a paradigm?"

She runs a hand through his hair like he had done, petting his head. She shrugs. "It's one of the many paradigms of life, I guess." He ponders it, sitting still while she braids strands of his hair. His hair feels like silk, oily and soft and pleasing to the touch. She hums under her breath in childish amusement. This must be dream. She's acting so much like her old-self. Maybe it was because of the man? Yes. It must be. Something about him made her feel like a child again, and not some cold emotionless stone. After her parents died, and after Eren wrapped his scarf around her, she had sworn to never be childish again. But she wished she hadn't.

"Hey…"

He blinks up at her, eyes finally focusing on her face.

"What your name, seriously?" Her hands continue braiding his hair.

He straightens, shifting his body so she slips off of his lap.

"I went by many names in my past. Now, I prefer to let no one know my name."

Her rare relaxed expression slips into her usual somber look. "Oh."

"But…"

He smiles and kisses the back of her hand. "You, and you alone, sweet Barrel, may call me Luc."

"Luke?"

"No." he shakes his head as he helps her up. "Luc."

* * *

_**-information open for disclosure to the general public:**_

_According to records, the first titans appeared 107 years ago. Their absolutely overwhelming strength quickly pushed humanity to the brink of extinction. The remaining survivors built the three walls, Sina, Rose, and Maria, though it is unclear as to how. Still, the walls brought them a century of peace. _

* * *

_Chapter 6, episode 2:_

_That day- __**the Fall, part three**_

* * *

'_Til that time I had been truly a wretched soul,_

_And wholly giv'n to greed_

_Now, as thou see'st, I'm punished for it here. _

_What avarice doth_

_Is here manifest in this purgation of converted souls?_

_Nor hath this Mount a penalty more bitter._

_O Avarice!_

_Thou hast to thyself so drawn my race_

_That ev'n for its own flesh it careth naught_

_What more canst thou do with us?_

_The Priest_

* * *

(Eren's p.o.v., during the Fall)

"It's all over…the titans are going to devour humanity again…" a passenger moans. The woman next to him prays desperately for her safety. Several others pray as well, some moaning is despair. But most were sitting down, dejected and hopeless. They've lost everything; their homes, a family member, a lover, a pet, all the treasured belongs that made them think of beloved memories and precious times. A girl weeps over losing a music box her grandmother gave to her on her deathbed. A father weeps over the loss of his son's favorite toy. An old man cries over the loss of his business, his last connection to his perished family.

_This is the end?_ Eren thinks, taking it all in.

_His mother in the kitchen washing the dishes, his father turning to answer one of his many questions-_

I'll never see…that house…ever again. Eren finally realizes the weight of his loss. He lost not only his mother, but his home as well. He had calmed down from earlier, but fresh tears stream from his eyes as he thinks of it all again.

_His mother's smile as she washes crud from his eye-_

_Eren, you really have to stop getting so dirty. Go take another bath-_

"_No!" he shouts, arguing like always-_

Why…? Why did I always argue for no reason like that?!

_His mother reaching after him as he ran away-_

_Eren you cannot join Survey Corps-_

_Stop telling me what to do!_

Why was arguing all I could do?!

_His mother smiling as he did his chores finally, watering her beloved plants-_

_Now she's gone! _Eren shouted at himself, making more tears slip and fall from his eyes , down his cheeks in a seemingly endless flow. Droplets fell onto his bruised hand.

_Ka-san blinking at him, confused when he stopped calling her "Mother" and instead "Oka-san-"_

_It's cooler, Ka-san. _

_Well, alright-_

_Ka-san smiling as she kissed him good night-_

_Good-night, love-_

_Her soft voice lulling him to sleep-_

_Rock-a-bye, baby, on the tree-top-_

_The days she played with him when he had no friends, no reason to go outside-_

_I found you! She teases-_

_Scaring her when she did laundry, making faces at her-_

_Eren! Don't do that-_

_When she tickled him from behind as they played hide-and-seek-_

_Got you! She laughs-_

_Her laughter, her smile-_

_She's never coming back…_

Eren closes his eyes as more tears filter out.

_She's never coming back!_

Why…?

_Hannes whispering, "Because you lack the strength…"_

It's because I'm weak…because all humans….are weak…

_The passenger moaning, some praying, others giving up and crying piteously-_

_Is crying all that the weak can do?!_Eren shouts the question in his head. But he knows the answer. He always has. It had waited from him, in some dark crevice, seeking, wanting, and yearning for the light of his understanding. He just hasn't realized it yet until now. Now, he has a goal. He _has_ to join the army. He _has_ to fight in the war. There was no other option. There was no going back. How else to seek his revenge, than kill all titans?

_There was no going back to those times, _he thinks, _only the choice of moving forward…_

"I'm…going to-" he rises. Mikasa gapes at him with her eyes, shocked. She didn't expect him to be able to get on his shaking knees so fast. A glance down shows that his legs aren't shaking at all.

"Eren." She says in quiet wonder. Armin, however, is worried. "What's gotten into you-" he says as Eren passes by him. He lays a hand on Eren's shoulder but is smacked away. "Eren…?"

"-drive 'em out!" Eren finishes, grabbing a piece of the wooden railing. His eyes take in the damage to wall Maria. "I'm going to drive out every last one from this world!" he vows in a low, angry voice.

Armin and Mikasa watch him, one in shock, and the other in fear.

Which was which, was hard to say.

"Eren…"

* * *

_**-Information open for disclosure to the general public-**_

_In 845, Wall Maria was breached through Shiganshina district. Central government made the decision to withdraw humanity's entire domain behind Wall Rose. An estimated number of over 20,000 people were eaten by Titans during this time._

* * *

(Grisha's p.o.v., 3 days AF)

He was too late. He knew it. As he whips his horse to run faster, he thinks of Carla. Weeping, he grits his teeth and directs his horse through a faster mountain path. Please, please be alright, Eren, Mikasa, Carla-

_Grisha, how could you?_ The voice whispers piteously in his mind. He knew who it was. He knew they would come. And he knew how angry, how upset over this they were. Still, he couldn't take it.

"Shut up!" he shouts at the owner of the voice.

A shaking next to him on the bench, the rough sound of material brushing wood. A cold chill runs through his skin and he catches the faint scent of sweet flowers and cherry blossom trees.

"You knew this would happen. I even warned you." She says, appearing in her common uniform; a black cloak that covered her entire body. The wind pushes her hood back (though he knows she allowed it to happen), revealing her cerulean eyes, her blonde bangs and boyish-short brown hair. He ignores her and whips his slowing horse.

"But no, you _had_ to try and stop it." She bares her teeth in a wolfish grin. "This is why I hated humans. They never learned, no matter how often they walked the same path." She sighs, shaking. "Well, never leave a stone unturned, I guess."

He casts a glare from the corner of his eye. "I assume you have a solution to my problem, then? Judging from your complaining," he adds. She flashes her teeth his way. "Of course. I couldn't let you mess up the plan, could I?" she holds up a vial, still the same color as it was 10 years ago. "I think it should be taken into account that I let you fool yourself for so long. I didn't even interfere once."

"True." He says, reaching out a palm for the vial. She hands it over, brushing her fever warm skin over his. "You know what to do." She says. He doesn't answer, only whips his horse to move faster. "I know what you're wondering. 'Did I know this was going to happen? Could I have stopped it? What could I have done?'" she crosses her arms and her legs. "Just so you know, I couldn't. I tried, that day. I warned you. But you didn't listen."

No answer.

"'Am I telling the truth? Could I have really done nothing? Or am I telling a lie again, tricking you into believing in nothing? Or maybe was this what I wanted, when I appeared that day? When I could've just let you fool yourself into thinking you son was not yet bonded?'"

He whips his horse again.

She sighs. "I know you don't like me, but I do have a message for you. It's from your mate."

He says nothing.

"She said, 'I don't blame you. I don't blame anyone.'" Her cerulean eyes lower to look at her feet, her smile fading into a small grin. "Carla was truly an angel."

He snorts, but agrees.

"You know, I can read your thoughts. That's exactly what she said when I told her that."

No answer.

"You do know that ignoring me isn't going to make me go away, right?"

He glares at her, then focuses again on the road.

He was such a fool. What was he thinking, trying to play God again? He thought he learned it from last time, but apparently he didn't. He berated himself. After all this sacrifice, and he still didn't learn his lesson?

Then that would mean their memory was worth nothing. He shakes his head. They deserved better than that.

"I talked with them. The first 13, I mean."

He jerks his head to her. "What?!"

She smiles. "It was simple curiosity. I had to know. So I summoned them and asked them if they blamed you." She goes quiet.

His gaze returns to the road. "I'm guessing you won't tell me until all this is over, correct?"

She laughs. "Now you're the mind reader, Grisha."

"No. Just a simple doctor."

Her cerulean gaze flickers to him before she closes her eyes. "Ma, Ma, of course." And she disappears before the next tree passes, leaving behind a single pale grey bird feather.

He smiles, tears still in his eyes. 'You never changed, did you, 23?"

* * *

(Eren's p.o.v., 4 days AF)

"Eren…!" a voice calls his name, faint and far away.

Dad…?

"Eren!" the voice is closer now, but still so very far away, fading into the darkness that was all Eren could see.

"_Eren!"_ and suddenly Eren realizes the events that led him here. "Dad!" he cries out. Hands hold him down painfully, his body already weak from lack of sleep. "Stop, Dad! What are you trying to do?" It's so dark. He can't see; only hear, only smell, only touch and sense. He feels more like the sheep in the slaughter house, its eyes wrapped with a blindfold so it can't see its own death. He screams, afraid.

"Never mind that, just give me your arm!" He can sense the cold metal of a needle touching his skin and flinches away. How did he know this was his father? "No! Mom's death's made you crazy!" And suddenly he hears it. The clinking of metal, the sound of the basement key on his father's neck. He suddenly pictures it clearly, falling, falling, through the darkness.

"Eren!" his father shouts.

"Let go, Dad!" he howls, thrashing his limbs about. He grunts as his father sits down on his chest, securing his left arm with his leg and focusing on his right. "It's for-" his father grunts as Eren continues to fight. Yet he still secures a position for a clear shot for the needle.

"-your own sake!" he finishes, sailing the point home. It pierces the vein in his arm, the serum entering his blood immediately.

"-What are you talking about?!" Eren grunts out before being overcome with heat and power. His leg kicks out in a spasm, his hand clench and unclench the ground, reaching out in desperation for some kind of weapon.

_The key, the key, the key, the key the key the key the key-_

The picture of it falling into darkness fills his mind. Helpless and crying, he doesn't even feel his father reach down his throat and withdraw a small pill. He can only gurgle and groan, _pain _and _heat_ and _completion_ and _power_ mixing up into a strange mixture, confusion the whisk. It stirred and flung each emotion about, making each ingredient unrecognizable.

_The key, the key, the key, the key the key the key the key-_

Like some sort of nursery rhyme, the words repeat, over and over.

"Listen, Eren! This is important! Don't ever forget the key!" his father's face suddenly fills his vision. He blinks up at him hazily. "You must reach the basement! Until you learn the truth, you must keep the key safe!"

_The key, the key, the key, the key the key the key the key-_

He blinks again, his mind going into overload.

* * *

_The key, the key, the key, the key the key the key the key-_

_It falling into darkness, through the darkness, to a bottom that never existed-_

Church bells ring out, waking him up. The sound of the key hitting a floor rings through his mind.

_Don't ever forget the key!_ His father's voice calls to him from the back of his mind, faint but clear.

"Eren?" Mikasa calls. He jumps, startled at the sound of her voice.

"Eren, are you okay? I found you unconscious, separated from us in the woods and carried you here. You seemed to be running a fever." She informs, kneeling by his leg. Not touching, thankfully. She seemed to sense that now was not the time.

He pulls his legs in to his chest slightly. Fingers touch his forehead. "I feel….like I just saw Dad…"

"You were dreaming." Mikasa says. Her tone leaves no question. But still, Eren doesn't let the feeling fade. He looks down to notice the basement key. What…

"Let's go. They said they're going to serve food." Mikasa tells him. "apparently, this is their food store house. They gathered all the boat refugees here." Eren finally looks around the room as he rises. It looked like a stable, with stalls wide enough for 4 four horses to stand, shoulder to shoulder. 8 stalls ran along the sides, and 4, even wider, at the back. Up above, Eren heard what he assumed were birds preening. A pale grey feather falls in the corner of his vision as he follows Mikasa outside.

He blinks at the sudden sunlight, glaringly bright compared to the darkened storage room. As he blinks, he takes in the lines of people. Soldiers hand out bread to them, and 2 men get into a fight over cutting in line. Other soldiers, not passing out food, sneer at the people. They stay well away from them.

"Eren! Mikasa!"

Both turn to look at Armin as he runs up to them, three small loafs of bread cradled in his arms. "My Grandfather got them by saying it was for children." He motions at the bread. "Well, he wasn't far off." He hands a loaf to Mikasa, who replies with a polite "thank you," before handing one to Eren. He nods his thanks. They bite into their bread.

"-could've at least eaten more people, just saying." A soldier complains to his friend loudly, passing in front of the trio.

"It's like, come on, you know?" the same soldier looks at all the people with disgust.

Eren, finally getting what the soldier was saying, hands his bread to Mikasa and stomps over to them. The soldiers pay him no attention, continuing to complain to each other. Pissed, he kicks one in the shin. That gets the soldiers' attentions.

"What the hell, kid?!" he shouts, drawing people's attentions.

"You don't know what it's like! You've never even seen what the titans can do, have you?!" he yells. The soldier grits his teeth and punches Eren, while his friend kicks him to the ground. "You do best to mind your manners, boy." One of them warns. "Tch."

Before Eren can make another mistake, Armin steps between them, arms spread wide. "I apologize!" he says obnoxiously loud, calling more attention to them. "He's just hungry and tense. He didn't mean to lash out at you." People take in the scene of a boy on the floor, his friend defending him, and the soldiers. They sent accusing glances at the soldiers before looking away, murmuring under their breaths to each other.

The soldier notice this, and, seeing as the people wouldn't side with him, growls and takes the apology. He turns away in a huff, his friend walking beside him.

* * *

Eren stomps over to the shade, Mikasa and Armin close at his side. He sits down on the stone ledge separating the outer hall from the quad, his back to the crowd. "I hate those guys!" He states immediately.

"Eren, you're not being serious, are you?" Armin says, handing him back his loaf of bread. Eren takes it, but he doesn't bite into it. "Yes! This is why I want to join the military! I'm not like those guys who act all tough inside the walls!" he looks down at his bread. "I don't need this crap!" he throws it back at Armin. That would mean he was accepting charity from Armin, and using that logic, from those soldiers.

Armin catches it with fumbling hands. "But Eren, you'll starve to death!" he says, worried. He tries to hand it back.

"Doesn't this bother you, Armin?" Eren asks. He finally understands Armin's huge pride. He hated when people assumed he couldn't support himself. He had legs, he had arms, he could provide for himself! He didn't need someone else's help. This…this thing…this giving from one person to another…was charity. It was belittling and unnecessary in his mind. "It's because we accept people's charity that we can't beat the titans!"

"It's impossible!" Armin begins. "There _is_ no beating them!" Usually that calms Eren down, makes him sigh and withdraw into himself. It pisses Armin off, but what could he do then?

But this was now, and wanting to get more words in, Armin continues. "All we can do, Eren, is live inside the walls. If we try anything, then we'll die. Just like…" he falters, but shakes it off. "Just like my mom and my dad!"

"So you're just going to grovel at their feet then?!" Eren surprises them. His voice carries over to the lonely bystander a few paces away from them, leaning against the cool wall. "You'll plead and beg for them to help you?! That's not shameful to you?!" Eren's past his usual rage, going into one of his infamous rants. His tongue is sharp, quick, and painful. Mikasa automatically shifts to offer Armin support.

"I-there…there's nothing I can do!" Armin shouts back. A pang fills his heart but he ignores it, keeping his eyes on his friend. _What else can I do for you besides this?!_ Humiliation, hot and branding, fills his body.

_If he's happy with living like cattle, then fine! _Eren thinks. _But I won't!_ "You wimp!" he shouts thoughtlessly.

His words sink into Armin's already wounded pride, ripping it to shreds. Inside, he falls apart. But outside, his shock slips through, along with a trace of humiliation and shame. Mikasa senses Armin's hurt and reacts. She punches Eren's unsuspecting face, hard, and he falls to the floor. He lays there, the trio turned silent. The bystander keeps their face turned away, but can't help but whistle softly at the girls' punch.

"Eren." She says calmly and clearly. "If Armin's a wimp, the so are we, for we have done no better." Eren's body is still, but she senses the wheels in his mind turning, processing what she was saying. Armin looks to Mikasa, amazed. "When we ran away from titans, when we fled the town, we did nothing on our own. Armin helped us then, as well as now, with the food."

Eren rises, ashamed. He doesn't look at Armin or Mikasa.

"A single person is not the equivalent of a single titan. It takes a team to accomplish the impossible." She grabs Eren's bread and shoves it into his mouth. "Now eat." She orders. "Surviving is our top priority at the moment."

Eren nods, shedding tears of shame as he chews.

* * *

_**-Information open for disclosure to the general public-**_

_Several days after the fall of Wall Maria (officially recognized as an historical event, and used in classification of the following years, After Fall (AF)), refugees were tasked with cultivating waste lands for food. In 1 AF, central government sent 250,00 refugees (20% of current population) on a campaign to regain Maria._

_According to reports, out of the 250,00 sent, not even 300 survived. However, their sacrifices were of great help to humanity, currently under famine at the time._

* * *

(Petra's p.o.v., 6 days AF)

"Name?" she asks, her gaze fixated on her paper.

"Please be patient, everyone! We'll get you sorted quickly!" a soldier yells down the line as people move up it.

It was only 6 days after the Fall, and already the refugees were to be moved. Petra, fresh out of training, was to write down names of the people and occupations for later sorting. The first day she could barely refrain from vomiting. Bodies of people, some missing limbs, some patched up. A mother held her dead baby, convinced the child was still warm, still breathing. She kept offering it her food, growing thinner and thinner.

She asked to be in charge of the children, seeing as they were more taken care of than the adults. The commander took one look at her pale face and handed her a clipboard.

"Annie Leonhart."

"Occupation?" she says as she scribbles the girls' name down.

"Fighter. Farmer." Annie says.

"Which one?" Petra glances up at the girl finally, taking her blonde hair and blue eyes.

Annie thinks, then says. "Farmer."

Petra writes it down as the girl moves on.

She was really glad Levi wasn't here. After he told her about Eren Yeager and after they broke up, he wasn't right. Gone was his slightly mischievous look, erased was the underlining humor in his eyes. He assumed a look of-of-

_Like looking at a statue in a church,_ she thought. A froze emotion, unreadable and unyielding, forever unchanging. He never smiled now, and he freaked out over any trace of blood. She found it out the hard way when she made dinner last night and cut her finger with a blade. He started to shake as he grabbed her arm, pouring water over it and wrapping it up quickly. When she tried to stop him he shouted at her, eyes wild and fearful.

All because of Eren Yeager. All because of his death.

_What was he to you, Levi?_ She though as she scribbled down another name and occupation. _How does one boy have such power over your emotions? How does he affect our relationship this much when he didn't even take a step into it? _

"Name?" she asks.

"Eren Yeager."

She almost drops he clip board. "Excuse me?" she asks politely, looking at the boy.

His green eyes blink up at her in confusion. "Eren Yeager, miss."

With shaking hands she writes it down.

"Occupation?"

"I'm the son of a doctor, but I'm more familiar with farming." He says.

_Farmer, _she scribbles. She watches him as he moves down the line.

_Eren Yeager…_

She watches his small back fading away in the crowd with wide eyes.

* * *

_**-Information open for disclosure to the general public-**_

_It is rumored that the walls were constructed on a large hillside, and reports claim such accusation is true. The further one goes towards Wall Sina, the higher elevation one climbs. Human territory is replete with necessities such as water, minerals, natural gas, and other such resources._

* * *

(Petra's p.o.v., 6 days AF)

"Lyn!" she says as she slams her ex-beau's best friends' door open. It closes sharply behind her.

Said ex-beau's best friend looks up. "Hello." She greets, putting her tea down. She looked calm, sitting in her military uniform and dark grey jacket underneath. Petra slams her hands down on her table. "How could you?!" she accuses.

Lyn blink at her in confusion, her brown eyes flashing red briefly. "What did I do?" she asks.

"You know what you did!" Petra yells. "How could you? How could you lie to Levi!?"

Lyn shakes her head. "I never lied, Petra."

"Oh, really?" Petra says snarkily. "Then tell me why I ran into _him_ today?!" _Why he was sitting there, alive and breathing, blinking up at me with those green eyes!?_

"_Who?"_

"Eren Yeager!" she screams.

Lyn, finally giving Petra the desired reaction, jumps up and walks around the table to her. "You did?!"

"Yes!" Petra shouts. She fists her hand and punches Lyn's shoulder. "Now tell me why you lied to him!"

"Petra, this important." Lyn grabs her wrists in a gentle yet firm hold. "I need you to remember. What was he wearing around his neck?"

Caught off guard, Petra thinks back. "He…he was wearing a necklace with…with a key."

"Was there anything else?" Lyn says earnestly. She leans closer to Petra's face, who takes a step back from the proximity. "Petra, please." Lyn pleads, letting go of her wrists.

"There…there was another necklace…" she thinks back. "It was metal, and it had-"

"-a ring?" Lyn finishes. Petra nods.

Lyn steps back, cursing softly under her breath. Petra stares at her, her anger gone. She's never seen Lyn like this, irritation and worry clear on her face. She's always had a smile, albeit small or large. This range of emotion across the brown-skinned girls' face was new to her.

"Petra." Hands grab hers. She focuses on Lyn's face again, her blonde bangs falling over one of her eyes.

"Petra I must ask of this from you." Seeing no understanding in her eyes, Lyn shakes her. "Petra, please."

"…Alright." She says slowly. "What is it?"

"I must ask you-"

Petra watches her.

"-to never tell Levi of this. Do not tell him that Eren is alive."

"What-?"

"You must never tell Levi that Eren is alive. For the sake of all humanity, I beg this of you." Her brownish-red eyes stare into Petra's golden gaze, pleading.

* * *

(3 weeks AF)

"Commander Irwin, sir!" said commander turns around at the sound of his name. A girl with a brown ponytail and goggle glasses salutes him. "Yes?" he asks. Odd. Soldiers never really called out to their commander in the streets.

"I heard that you like 'Projects', sir!"

"…You can stop with the 'sir', soldier. And keep your voice down." Irwin says, not wanting to attract unnecessary attention from passersby. Wasn't she a new recruit? How'd she know about his 'projects'? Not even his most trusted subordinates knew about them.

"Sorry." Surprised, he watches as she drops the act, her hands finding her waist and resting there. "I have a proposition for you, Irwin."

First name bases already? Irwin was impressed with her gaudiness.

"I have a project for you. I want you to check it out, and judge if you can or can't take it on. If you do take it on, then the project becomes a member of the survey corps, no questions, and no objections. If you don't, then you kill the project."

"Oh?" what kind of project is this? Irwin thinks. "What's your name?" he asks.

"Hanji, sir. I'm your new scientist for Survey corps." She grins at him. "You'll be hearing about me more in the future, I'm assuming."

"Well then, Hanji." Irwin offers his hand to her. "It seems you perked my interest. I'll take you up on your offer. When do we get started?"

She shakes his hand. "Right now. Any objections?"

He shakes his head. "No. That sounds perfect."

* * *

_**-Information open for disclosure to the general public-**_

_Several years after the construction of the 3 walls, humanity made an advancement in technology. They created ODM gear. Before ODM, humans generally moved in 2 dimensions. With ODM, they moved in 3 dimensions effortlessly. However, harsh training made it so only soldiers were required to use it. The training demanded great physical strength, spatial perception, and mental strength to remain calm in extreme conditions._

* * *

"So where is this project, anyway?" Irwin asks as they swing above the roof-tops on their 3-D gear. Hanji swings in front of him, landing on her feet like a cat on the roof-top. She pauses there.

"They'll show up. Somewhere around here." Hanji turns to face him. "But we can't. That's why I asked you to remain quiet. We must never be seen here, or the project will run away and we'll never get them again."

"What's with all the secrecy, though? It's not like the project's going to kill someone, right?"

Hanji gives him a look.

"How extreme is this project anyway-?"

Hanji shushes him before he can finish his sentence, crouching low. He follows her lead. She creeps forward to the ledge, looking right and left before motioning Irwin forward. He stalks forward on silent feet, brushing his shoulder next to Hanji's as he leans over.

He notices a soldier walking through the alley below them. Glancing at the uniform, he was military police, and a high ranking officer at that. "Is this our project-"

"-Shush!" Hanji says harshly. Irwin turns his voice off.

The soldier walks unfailingly through the alley way, a bored expression on his eyes. From the other end a cloaked figure approaches. Malice seemed to roll off of the figure in waves as the soldier came closer. Irwin remains silent.

Step.

Step.

Their steps were aligned, the combined sounds echoing, bouncing off the walls like the beat of a clock, the tic of a second.

Step.

Step.

Somehow, each step seemed slower than the last.

Step.

Step.

They were barely 5 feet away from each other, the soldier's bored expression still on his face and the malice even stronger now.

Step.

Step.

Hanji remains still, her gaze fixated on the cloaked figure. Irwin glances at her from the corner of his eye before looking back.

Step.

Step.

Their shoulders brush as they pass each other. A flash of metal, a sound of metal sliding into skin.

Step.

Step.

The soldier clasps to the floor, holding his stomach. The figure turns around, a breeze shifting the hood from his face. Irwin blinks as he takes in the profile of a young boy, barely 15, yet still so mature, so poised. His black hair whispers around his ear as he fixes his target with a glare.

"W-what the hell?" the soldier gasps out.

"I've always believed that bad people will eventually get their due." The boy says. "I thought that karma would give them bad luck, and good people would persevere."

"Who the hell are you?!" the soldier coughs blood.

"But it seems, that we have to take punishment into our own hands." The boy steps closer to the soldier. "For karma has never given the bad people their punishment, and good people always suffer."

"S-stay back! I-I'm warning you!" the soldier crawls away and cowers. "Pain is always the best punishment, I think. The point is made _oh so clearly_ and better than just locking one away forever and never learning the lesson." The boy continues. The soldier coughs again, his body heaving.

"I didn't do any-anything." He heaves out.

"Today's your reckoning day. And last words, murder?" The boy spits out the sentence as he takes his knife and presses it to the soldier's neck.

"I swear! I didn't-" The sentence is forever left unfinished, as the boy sends an angry look and slides the knife across his neck quickly.

"Lucky for you, I was merciful today." He continues to say, wiping his knife on the soldiers' clothes quickly. He takes off his cloak and covers the body.

"This is all you're getting. Be thankful. The next one's not going to be so pretty." The boy walks on down the alley, blinks as he steps into the light.

When he's gone, Hanji turns to Irwin. "So. What do you say? Care to take this project on?"

Irwin looks at her. "What's his name?"

She sighs. "Levi, sir. It means 'one who joins' or 'one who follows'."

"Levi, huh?" he says, standing. "He sounds like an interesting lad. I'll see what I can do."

"So you'll take him on?"

Irwin looks at her before jumping off the roof, swinging away on his 3-d gear.

She smiles. "I knew it."

* * *

(2 AF)

"104th Cadet Core entrance ceremony shall now begin!" an announcer shouts. Armin tries to hide his jump. The commander stands on the block in front of the class, 2 soldiers standing on either side behind him. One of them was Lyn.

"You all have the misfortune of having me, Keith Sadies, as your commander. I do not welcome worthless nothings warmly. Nothing but food is what you are." He steps forward, off of the block. "Over the next few years, we're going to train you worthless pieces of shit and teach you how to fight titans. And 3 years from now, when you come face to face with one, will you be the fodder, or the hunter?!"

He looks at all the blank faces. "Well?! Which is it?!"

They remain silent.

He steps forward to Armin. "Hey, you!"

Armin jumps. "yes, sir!" he salutes the commander correctly, afraid.

"who the hell are you?!"

"Armin Arlelt, from Shiganshina!" he shouts. He practiced for months with Eren, trying to sound less girly when he shouted.

"I see! That's a ridiculous name! did your parents give it to you?!" the commander shouts. Armin tries to shout louder. "My grandfather did, sir!"

"Arlelt, why are you here?!"

"to help humanity achieve victory!" he shouts proudly yet still fearfully.

"Oh! That's wonderful to hear!" inwardly Armin sighs in relief. "We'll feed you to the titans! Third row, about face!" hands turn Armin's head around, his body following the movement.

The commander moves on, shouting at another cadet.

A group of soldiers' pass by the class, and one stops by Lyn, standing on the block. The soldier, Ral, leans over to whisper in Lyn's ear. "Look at them go." He says, wonder lacing his voice.

Lyn smiles at him. "we went under the same thing when we joined, remember?"

"yes, but we were _ten_. They're _twelve._ They don't have to go so hard."

"...Takes you back though, doesn't it?" Lyn says. Ral nods.

"no, you're a pigsty! You're less than dirty!"

"Yes, sir! I am less than livestock!"

"Still, they're really going hard on them, aren't they?" Ral says. Lyn shrugs. "It's the rite of passage, remember?"

"All I remember is intimidation, yelling, name calling, and people being sent home."  
"wow. That's like, the first lesson we learned. Nice, Ral." Another soldier leans over, teasing Ral. "remember? We were reduced to a blank state through self-denial, after which we we're molded into perfect little soldiers."

Ral scratches his head. "wasn't this the first step?" Lyn nods. "but wait, there's some he's not talking to." Ral points at a section of cadets the commander just breezes by. Lyn fixes her gaze on 2 of them. A blonde girl and a brown-haired green eyed boy.

The other soldier, Grace, speaks again. "those are the ones from beyond wall Rose. They most likely saw the hell from 2 years ago."

"They don't have to take the rite because they already have." Lyn says softly. The three gaze at the survivors, a mixture of pity and amazement fill them.

"…They have different looks on their faces." Ral says. Grace nods.

Someone from their groups calls them over. "Oh. Gotta go. Lyn, you eating with us tonight?" he asks. Lyn shakes her head. 'I'll eat with the cadets. Commander ordered me to get to know them. Sorry." She apologizes.

"That's alright. Orders are orders, right?" he pats her shoulder. "See you then."

"See you."

"Who the hell are you?!" the commander stops in front of a shaking boy.

"Sir! Thomas Wagner from Trost-!"

"can't hear you!"

The boy closes his eyes and shouts louder. 'Sir-!"

""louder! Go practice in a barn!" he spends a few minutes yelling at Thomas, intimidating him further.

Eventually he moves on down the line. "who the hell are you?!"

"Jean Kirsentein from Trost!"

"why are you here!?"

Jean smiles at the commander. 'To join the military regiment and live in the interior!"

Eren's gaze turns to look at him, as well as a few others.

"oh, you wanna live inside Wall Sina, huh?" the commander leans back, staring at Jean.

"yes, sir-!" his voice is cut off as the commander hits his forehead with his own. Jean's hands touch it as he falls down, dizzy from the sudden attack. "who said you could sit, boy?!" Jean groans. "get up, boy! If you can' t handle this, you can forget about the military regiment!"

He moves down the line. "Who the hell are you?! Why are you here?!" he shouts at a brown haired boy. The boy smiles fearfully at him. "Yes sir! I am Marco Bodt of Jinae, on the south side of wall Rose! I want to join the military police and offer life and limb to the king!"

"Oh? I see. That's a fine goal. Yes, a very fine goal, indeed. Go ahead and strive for it." Marco smiles more honestly now, but still fearful.

"But just so you know…" and he was right to do that, for the commander looms in close to his face, glaring. "The king doesn't _want_ your lousy shitty life or your limbs." He steps away, leaving Marco to stare at the place where his face was in fear.

"You're next! Who the hell are you?!" he stops before a bald kid with wide yellow eyes. He salutes the commander. "Conny Springer, from Rayako village on the south side of Rose!" the commander stares at his salute. "You've got it wrong, Conny Springer!" he growls, grabbing Conny's head in his large hands and lifting him from his feet.

"it's the first thing you learned! This salute expresses you resolve to give your heart to your people! Tell me," he tilts the young cadets' head to look him in the eye. "Is your heart on your right side?!"

Chomp.

Eren's gaze turns to a young girl with brown hair.

Chew.

Armin watches as she chews on a piece of a steamed potato.

Swallow.

The rest of the cadets' gaze follow the lump in her throat, watch it disappear into her stomach

Lyn smiles, closing her eyes.

"hey, you…"

The girl looks up, confused. She takes another bite of her potato.

Chomp.

Chew.

She glances around.

"I'm talking to you!' he looms in close, towering over the girl. "Who the hell are you?!"

Swallow.

" I am Sasha Braus, from Drauper village, on the south side of wall Rose!"

"_A man from long, long ago saved our town from bandits, and he gave the person he loved this ring. A blue gem, for their eyes were a wondrous shade of dark blue and brown. A black gem, for their brown hair. And the ring as a sign of his promise to our people…"_

_What…_Eren fought to keep his hands behind him, his head getting dizzy.

"_A promise to leave them alone, leave them to be free, forever. And of course, that meant they could never be together, for he was not of their people. His lover wept for days, and it was said that it was their tears that made the ring turn from bronze to silver. The two feathers on opposite sides of the ring symbolize freedom... "_

_Shake it off_, Eren thinks. He blink rapidly before focusing on the girl again.

"-why did you decide to eat it now?!"

"I felt it would be a waste to let it grow cold, so I decided to eat it now!" she says.

"No…I don't understand…" the commander says. "why did you eat the potato?" he says in that patronizing voice, like when a parent demands why a child decided to do something necessary at the most stupidest of times.

"…Are you asking me why people eat potatoes, sir?" Sasha asks hesitantly, confused.

Silence, having been there since the beginning, is deafening now. You could hear the leaves brushing the ground in that silence.

Sasha gasps as realization hits her. She looks down to her potato and, grudgingly, splits it half. "Tch." She offers it up to the commander. "Here."

"What? Half?" the commander takes it though, holding it up to his face. He looks back down to Sasha. She gives him a small, reluctant smile.

* * *

_**-Information open for disclosure to the general public-**_

_In 840, military law allowed cadets to be as young as 10. After the first few trials, however, the law was changed, so only those as young as twelve may be allowed to join the militia. _

* * *

(Eren's p.o.v., 2 AF)

"Whoa. He's still got the potato girl running? She been running for 5 hours straight."

'still, being told she had to run to the verge of death didn't seem to bother her as much as being told to skip meals did." Eren says, watching her run. "Dauper's a small mountain village in the mountains, right?"

"Yes." The boys turn to look at the new voice. A husky female voice, like listening to distance thunder roll over the mountains, filled their ears. The owner of the voice smiles. "Sorry. I'm Lyn." Eren takes in her military uniform and dark grey jacket underneath the leather jacket. "Hey, what's wrong with your hair?" Conny says form behind him.

She sends him a confused look. "My hair?" her hand reaches up to touch her blonde bangs. "What about it?"

"How is it doing that? Its two different colors."

"oh, that." She says. "It's been that way since I was born. I don't understand it any more than you do."

Conny stares at her, unbelieving. But before he can ask her another question, Armin speaks. "What was it you were saying before?"

"Hmm? Oh, I just said yes." She walks forward, grabbing the wooden rail."It was said long ago that Drauper was a part of a chain of villages, before a band of bandits over ran most of the others. Drauper was to be their last conquest. But then one of the bandits betrayed his comrades, and saved the village form their attack. It was said he feel in love with someone from the village."

She rest her head on her arms, watching Sasha run.

"He made a promise with the village, and left t them to be free of anyone's rule but their own. That was over 107 years ago. Since then, Drauper village grew smaller as they became mountain people, their natures turning more and more animalistic."

_A promise to leave them alone, leave them to be free, forever-_

There it was again. Eren touched his forehead.

_Because I want to make a promise to you…._

_Black hair, dark eyes, a pissed of expression-_

_A smile, so beautiful, so full of joy it took Eren's breath away-_

"Are you alright?" Eren jumps at Armin's touch, his voice. He turns his head to look at him. "huh? Oh, yeah, just a headache-"

Fever warm hands touch his forehead. He looks up in shock to see Lyn. "relax. I'm trying to see if you're running a fever or not." She says as he tenses.

Still, he remains stone still as she feels his forehead. Finally, she removes her hand. "you're fine. I think you're just feeling the effect of standing in the sun for too long. It'll be fine if you drink more water." She steps back.

"…How old are you, Lyn?" she looks over to Marco. "Hmm? Oh, I'm 17." The boys gasp.

"How-why are you still here then? Shouldn't you have graduated already?" Armin asks.

Lyn smiles. "You know, some might get offended by that question."

"A-ah! Sorry…' Armin apologizes. Lyn just laughs. "it's fine, pretty boy. I'm not offended."

"P-pretty boy?!"

Now all the boys laugh. Eren nudges Armin jokingly. "But, to answer your question, I did graduate. But I stayed behind to work on something things before I join one of the militias. I think that this year, though…" she looks at each of their faces. "I think I'll be leaving after you guys graduate."

A bell sounds. Lyn looks up to the darkening sky. "Ah. Regretfully, this is where I sign off. I'm off cooking duty tonight. But you'll see me later." She smiles at them. "see you, Eren, Marco, Armin, and Conny." And with that, she leaves. The boys stare after her, confused and shocked.

"…How'd she know our names?" Conny asks.

"…well, she was there at the entrance ceremony. I think she memorized our names from there…" Armin suggests. Eren just shakes his head, too tired to think any further. he notices a cart filled with drop outs. "What's that?" Marco asks, looking at the cart as well.

"Oh, they're the drop outs. They asked to work in the field instead." Armin says.

"Can't imagine why they want to go back to picking up rocks and pull plants, though…" Eren says, trailing off. Conny stares at him. 'Come to think of it, you never told us where you're from." The other boys look at Armin and Eren with waiting eyes. "I'm from Shiganshina, same as him." Eren places a hand on Armin's shoulder.

"Oh…that means…" Marco trails off, unsure if he should continue the sentence or not. He didn't want to hurt Eren's feelings. But Conny wasn't thinking of that.

"You were there that day then, right? Did you see the colossal titan?" he asks eagerly.

"O-oi, Conny!" Marco says. But Eren responds, although surprised by Conny's forwardness.

"Y-yeah."

* * *

(Levi's p.o.v., 6 months AF)

"'_Til that time thine had been truly a wretched soul," _He says under his breath. "_And wholly giv'n to greed."_

His target screams as his face is branded with a hot iron pole. "_Now, as thou see'st, thou art punished for it here." _The sound of flesh being burned echoes and is lost in the dark night. The smell of flesh burning wafts past his covered nose.

"_What avarice doth-"_ he has to stop because his target tries to move away from the burning rod. Levi punches him, places his foot on his head and holds him still. "-_Is here manifest in this purgation of converted souls?"_ the rod returns to burning his flesh, and Levi hold it to his face as his knife carves out a word on the targets' arm. _"Nor hath this Mount a penalty more bitter."_ He says as he pulls back.

The word, "Murderer", written in blood and skin, stands out in the dark. Levi quickly wipes his knife and glances away from the brand to the targets' face. "_That ev'n for its own flesh it careth naught."_ He says.

"_What more canst thou do with us?"_ the target whispers. Levi's face fills with disgust before sliding his blade across the targets throat.

"_Everything."_ He says.  
"Everything?" a new voice says behind him. Levi turns around. "Who are you?" he says coldly.

The figure of a man stands in the firelight. "I come with a proposition for you, Mr. Ackerman."

"who are you," Levi says, brandishing his dagger. "And how do you know my name?"

"Ah, a friend of a friend, I should say." The man says as he walks forward. "Avine and Hanji sent me."

"Avine? Lyn?" Levi asks. "She said that when I meet you, to introduce myself as Avine and Hanji's friend."

"Avine is Lyn's last name." Levi says, withdrawing his dagger. "She doesn't give it to anyone unless they're trustworthy."

"Nice to know I can be trusted." The man says. "Now, would you like to hear my proposition?"

"Sure, shit-face. Tell it to me straight." Levi says, walking past him.

The man's eyebrows raise. "That's it? No questions? No 'who are you?'"

Levi shrugs. "If Lyn trusted you with that name, then you are to be trusted. No questions, no back talk. And if Hanji sent you, even better." He glances over his shoulder. "Don't you feel important little fucker now, huh."

"I've always been an 'important little fucker.'" The man quotes. Levi takes in his blonde hair and eyebrows in the firelight. "however, the title never really gave me much except fame and back-stabbing."

"that's what you get for bending over some superiors lap and offering your constipated little ass up." Levi takes out a cigarette. "you high class whore."

"I thought you said I could be trusted?"

"trusted, yes. No one said anything about telling the truth." He starts walking again out of the alley and into the streets.

Then man follows. 'you're one messed up piece of work, huh, Levi?"

"_But I need you." Eren whined softly-_

Levi blinks the image away. "Like no one else is."

The man nods. '"True."

"Now that that's out of the way, what do you want?"

"sorry. My name is Irwin Smith, and I'm the commander of the-"

"Survey corps." Levi finishes. 'I know."

"I see. Well, I'd like to hire you as my personal guard-"

"I'll do it." Levi says.

"What?!" that stops Irwin short.

"Business has been slow." Levi explains. "I need something long-term."

"But- you didn't even ask-"

"Don't need to. All will reveal itself in time." He points his cigarette at Irwin. 'But one condition. You don't ask me to sleep with you or ask about my past life. Understood?"

Irwin nods.

"Good." Levi shakes his hand. "we have a deal then."

* * *

(Deleted scene)

And it was in that silence that Lyn heard it.

That hum. That whisper of power. Inhuman. She felt the seeking, the yearning. The bond. Eyes closed, she felt for it. Once she found it, she opened her eyes and had to gasp a little at who she found.

With her minds' ghostly body, she opened her hands and touched the bond. She watched them jump, the bond responding to her soft touch. It reached up its hand to grab her wrist, pulling her in roughly. But she was steadfast, rooted to her spot. She felt the frustration, the anger-

(Deleted scene)

(Lyn's p.o.v., 1 year AF)

The first time I saw her, I was entranced by her lips.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not some sort of weird pervert or anything. It's just…they were so…distracting. They looked a pale pink, but the longer you stared at them, the more pale rosy red they looked. Which, by the way, is _totally_ different from pale pink. Take my word for it.

But it wasn't just the colour. The shape, the smooth surface, the subtle fullness to her lips- it drew my eyes to them. Then after a few times of watching her when she went to the markets made me notice her eyes. She had been talking with some man, discussing things with hushed tones. Then her eyes flickered to fix me with a small glare. I jerked my head away, embarrassed that she had caught me. I focused on making my purchases before allowing myself to look at her again. She was still looking at me. Not wanting to seem weak, I stared back.

Her eyes were this beautiful combination of grey and blue. It was…like looking at a sky in the morning when the sun was covered with light rain clouds. The sun wasn't out, but it was still so _bright. _I loved mornings like those. It was one of the times that made me happy I chose this life. She blinks, but holds the stare; even while her friend (?) Continues to talk. Her eyes gave off this cold look, but like her lips, the longer you looked the lonelier her gaze seemed. I blink, confusion filling my eyes.

By the time I open my eyes again, she's looking away. The back of her head faces me as she responds to her friend's (?) question, and they leave. I stare after her for so long that a nudge from behind me in the line brings me back to reality. I apologize and grab my groceries quickly, leaving a tip to the owner of the stall as thanks for being so polite. I can't help but think of her eyes as I head home.

I've had many of the same encounters with her later on. Sometimes she looks back at me. Other times she doesn't know I'm there or she ignores me. I found that I don't mind when she ignores me, for its easier to observe her like that. But when she looks at me…I have to look away or met her gaze head on. Her gaze is always a challenge, a taunt to come near. And I never take her up on it. One time she huffed and refused to look at me again for 3 weeks. But she, too, eventually returned to her usual ways.

I've seen her sometimes at night, hanging onto on someone's arm. It's always a different person, never the same. She never smiles either. She drinks heavily but quietly while her partner (man or woman, it didn't matter apparently to her) got sky high drunk. She'd get up eventually and grab her partners arm and they'd leave. The people at the pub even take bets as to when she thinks enough is enough.

More often than not, it's at the pub where she fixes her cold lonely gaze at me.

And now that same gaze is on me during the training session.

_How'd did I get into this again?_ It's not really a complaint. Just a mere question.

The commander asked me if I was alright with being a test dummy while they tested the new trainees fighting capabilities and skills. I, of course, with much curiosity, agreed. And now she was my first opponent.

"Ready…?" the chosen referee, Eli I think her name was, raises her hands.

The haunt of my life lifts up her fists. My hands stay at my side.

_First strike. Never let you enemy know your stance. _I rip my gaze from her eyes to trail down her body to her feet and back up again.

Her body looked entirely relaxed, just like an experienced fighter's body would be. Her fists were raised to an exact height that left her stomach open but let her pull fast punches. As Eli began the match, she raises herself onto the tips of her toes to gives her maximum speed in her kicks.

_I bet she fights fast and dirty, using her legs from long range attacks and fists and elbows for close range. _I think as she begins to dance around me. He graze is bored but alive. _Nice to know she finds something entertaining. _

I stay still, even when the match's beginning is announced, my body gives no signal to her.

She doesn't give me any hints either.

Inwardly I smirk. _She's good. _

Her gaze barely flickers from mine to look at my shoulder. My lips twitch in the mere second she gives me.

Her leg shoots like lighting to hit my shoulder. I raise my arm and block it, quickly moving my other arm to press into the pressure points of her leg. Shocked, she's only able to hit my hand away before losing feeling her leg. I dart out of her range. Her leg falls limply beside her good leg, and she glares at me.

_Not good, not good, _I think towards her. _Don't let your emotions show. _

Once again, we're still as she tries to plan her next attack. I watch as she struggles to mask the slight pain she feels in her bad leg and I wince. She takes advantage then to kick with her good leg, putting weight on the other. I dart out of the way again, scolding myself of getting careless as getting so close.

A grunt pulls my attention back to her. She's flinching now, trying to lean onto her bad leg but can't because of the pain. My gaze sends an apology her way which she ignores, pulling her fist in closer in a stance.

Since she can't move, I do the work for her. I dart in closer so we can actually fight. He fist are like her feet; fast, quick, and to the point. I dodge each one, and yet unable to land a punch of my own. I try restraining myself, keeping myself at her level since she's only human and humans were only as strong as a single stick. But if you bound that stick with more sticks, and tried to break it, you couldn't. How strange…

My restrain finally slips and I land a good one, right on the cheek. She falls immediately, unable to keep her balance. But in a desperate attempt to do so, she grab on to me. Unprepared, we both fall to the floor. My chin hits her chest painfully and my hands grab her waist to save her from hitting the ground to hard. Her legs cradle my side and my stomach rests on her pelvis. She grunts from the impact.

"Sorry!" I say, rolling off of her immediately. She says nothing, only continues to lie there. Confused, I blink at her until I realize I hit her in the chest and got the wind knocked out of her. Plus, she couldn't feel her leg. "Oh shit, sorry! I'll fix it." I kneel on the floor again and grab her bad leg, removing the shoe. I roll my fingers over her pressure points again, bringing them back to life and relaxing them. As my fingers trail over her leg trying to find each one, I hear the softest of sighs.

I look up at her. "What…"

"Lyn!"

I drop her leg. "Sorry Sir!" I get up immediately.

"Sorry nothing!" he shouts. "Get over here! I want you to fight Reiner."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

_**a/n: thank you for your reading *bows***_


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/n: might I remind everyone that this is rated m for romance. Meaning that eventual there will be a sex scene. Or 2. Or 3. I'm not saying there is one now. But there will be :] **_

* * *

(Lyn's and Luc's p.o.v.)

Lyn wasn't one to dream.

She knew what people _assumed _happened when you dreamed- nightmares and pleasures, all mixed up in a confusing cycle that you could never guess. But she knew the truth as well. In a dream, mankind's minds were connected as one, allowing any who wished it to wander into any dream. You could discover any one's desires, any one's pain.

And for that reason alone, she never slept.

But there were some nights when she did sleep. Mostly because she was curious. Mostly because she wanted to know something. But often it was required of her to do something in someone's dream. This night was different. This night she had no goal in mind. This was a rare event- she had been called to. And since she was in a good mood, she responded to it.

In this dream, she walked in a forest. The road before her was a thin deer path, the forage blocking her view of what laid ahead. Patches of flowers overran parts of the path. Their petals reached up to the dream-sun, seeking replenishment form their hunger. She kept her gaze forward while her feet thudded on the soft dirt and flowers. The birds trilled and tweeted softly from far away but she paid them no mind. She knew eventually she'd reach her destination if she kept walking.

Soon the curtain of green opened up to reveal a small meadow. A stream ran right through it, and a figure kneeled on all fours to look at their reflection. Lyn's steady rhythm she had picked up from her walk slowed to a stop and she blinked. Her eyes portrayed her disinterest as she took in the sight of a young girl across the steam observing her reflection. The girl looked up, her hazel eyes shining at Lyn. Lyn felt herself take a sharp intake of breath as her eyes took in the familiar face. She fought to keep her expression uninterested.

Her face had never changed since back then. She still had this Spanish look to her, with wide disc-like eyes and thin pink lips parted in a smile. Her skin was as pale as ever. Her light brown hair gleamed in the mid-summer sun as she shifted, sitting back on her knees.

"Hello, Lyn." She greeted warmly. Her voice is exactly the same as it was long ago; sounding like the beat of a butterfly wing, fluttering and soft and fragile and sweet. Lyn blinks.

"I don't enjoy being played with." She states calmly, her voice laced with slight anger.

The girl pouts beautifully. "You're no fun." She huffs at her. Lyn shrugs. "You could've at least humored me."

"I've told you before I don't like your games."

The girl smiles. "I know." Lyn remains somber, watching as the girl morphs into a grown man with shoulder length black hair and pale skin. The smile remains as his pale grey eyes shine in delight at her. "But then, that's what I liked the most about you."

"What do you want, Lucius?" Lyn asks impatiently. She crosses her arms.

He wads across the stream to stand before her. "I just wanted to talk. And it's Luc, now."

"Fratenizing with the enemy?" she snorts. "That's not new. And I don't give a damn about your new name." she says as she steps away from him, not liking the proximity. "I find no amusement in your naming game. I only agreed to call you Lucius or your other name, no other."

He steps after her, brushing his broad chest with hers.

"You never did like any of my games, or my popularity. You found everything not related to your twin unworthy of your time." Lucius says. "I always liked that about you. So like me back then; uncaring for anything save one." His fingers pick up on of her blonde strands, his pale eyes observing it. "You changed your hair again. It used to be longer."

"I know."

"I liked it long." He whispers remorsefully. "But this _does_ look better."

She turns her head away. "Who asked for your opinion? The decision wasn't yours to make."

"I know." He smiles. "I'm just appreciating your choice." His pale eyes finally take in her features. "The years have served you well."

"I look exactly the same as I have before." She responds, not looking at him. "Just with different hair."

"Oh, no, you don't believe that." He rebuts her argument and grabs her chin. He turns her face to look at him and lifts it to the light. "Surely you noticed it too." He murmurs. "The wild, savage look you gave me so often back then in gone. And your disinterested mask is slipping, Lyn."

He smiles. "What have you been up to in the years I left you alone?"

Lyn jerks her chin out of his grasp. "Finishing what was started long ago."

"Ah, yes, the plan." Lucius's features fall to a frown. "I see you've been successful so far."

"There have been a few setbacks." Lyn says formally. "But-" and her lips are captured in an unexpected kiss. Surprised, she blinks rapidly. But once she realizes the truth her gaze turns bored and unamused. Lucius's lips trip pleasurably over hers as he tries to coax a reaction out of her. But Lyn remains unfazed. His hands slide up her sides to feel her subtle curves and his fingers massage her hips gently. Then he slips his arms through her crossed ones, breaking the hold and wrapping his arms around her. Hers dangle at her sides.

He breaks the kiss but doesn't let go. "I can never get a rise out of you." It's a statement, not a question. So she doesn't answer. She stares up at him, and he chuckles. "I love playing this game of trying to get a rise out of you. You make it so interesting." He had been leaning from his 186 cm height to kiss her. But he lifts her up off of her feet so he can stand upright.

"Glad you find something so amusing."

He chuckles again and kisses her nose. "But back to the plan. What sort of setbacks did you encounter?'

"Ones I could handle. You still think of me from before, don't you?" he nods. "I told you, I can handle anything you throw at me."

"I know. It's just…" he ponders off.

She stares at him. "You want me to join you, don't you?"

"Yes." He says, not avoiding it now that she brought it up. "It's' not too late. These paths set before us-"

"-Are not permanent. I know. But the roads to travel on are not my choice to make." She says. Her hands come up to cup his face, and he falls onto his back on the ground. Her chin bumps his chest lightly but otherwise the change goes unnoticed. The scent of crushed flowers and fresh grass fills the air. "You, however, can still change. You are free to choose your path. I'm to be always the same." She looks away regretfully.

He smiles. "Is that why you changed your hair? So as to show he doesn't have so much control over you?" She nods. "But that is my own private rebellion." She slides up his body so they can look eye to eye.

"Take this freedom that you have, Lucius, and use it wisely. You have what so many of our kind can only dream of, and you let it waste like this." Her eyes fill with remorse and yearning for the smallest taste of what he had. His heart stuttered.

"I can free you too, you know." Lucius says, desperation showing in his voice. His arms tighten around her waist. "We can be free, together. All you have to do is join me-"

"Join you in your crusade to destroy humanity?" Her eyebrows raise. "You know what that would mean for me."

He curses. Her twin. "He really did curse the both of us."

"You make it sounds like we're mated." She jokes quietly. Her lips curve into a smirk.

"We could've, you know." Lucius offers just as quietly. "You were my light in the darkness, and I was your morning star." His fingers trail over her left shoulder, over her brand. "We could've made a great union."

"They would've never stopped talking about it." Lyn smiles fully now. Lucius takes a sharp intake of breath from its beauty.

A silence fills there dream. Lyn looks up. "Looks like it time for me to go. I have training with the recruits today." She moves to rise, but Lucius refuses to let go.

"What is it?" She asks, sensing what was wrong.

"I met Mikasa. I think…" he bites his lip. "She might be…well, she could be…" the other end of the string.

Lyn's eyes waver, filling with wariness before joy. "That's wonderful, Lucius. You should do it." She slides her hands to his wrists around her waist. "Now let me go."

Lucius slides his hands up her back to cup her cheeks. "Give me a good-bye kiss?" he teases. But inside he pleads desperately.

She sighs, then leans in. "Just this once." She warns before closing her lips over his. His tongue comes out to lick her lips appreciatively. She breaks the kiss. "Now let me go?" she asks impatiently, eyebrows raised.

Lucius relents, letting his hands reach after her. She waves good-bye as she walks back into the forest, away from their combined minds.

"Goodbye, Lucius." She says. It sounds so final, so certain. Lucius cannot bring himself to say the same.

"See you." He calls. He hopes that maybe one day they can meet again.

* * *

"What is it like…" Lyn begins. Levi glances at her before returning his gaze to the clouds above.

"To fall in love, I wonder?"

Levi's eyebrows raise. "What the fuck do you mean by that?"

"Like, I mean," Lyn continues. "What does it feel like to love someone?"

"What the fuck? Haven't you ever fallen in love before?" she shakes her head, her gaze on the clouds. "But there were times when I was so close to." She says after a long pause. "I know. I felt a little trace of it."

"What did it feel like?" Now he was curious, too.

"Well, it's sort of like…" she trails off, thinking. "I guess-"

"You guess?"

"Mmhmm. I guess it would feel like sitting before a fire on a winter night. Your body feels so warms, so right. But just one gust of wind and the fire's gone. And your body's left cold, shivering and wanting." She lifts her hand to her face. "But you know that if you just add more wood, rebuild the fire again, you'll be warm once more. All it takes is wood and a spark. And not just any spark," she lets her hand fall to the ground again. "A good spark. One that catches and never lets go. No matter how much you stomp on it, it lights the fire again. And you'll always remember it.

"Of course, you could make the choice to not light the fire. You could wrap yourself in a security blanket and fool yourself all night that this was all you needed. But then you fall asleep and never wake up again, clutching desperately on that blanket. Or maybe you try to rebuild the fire again and the blanket limits your motions so much that you throw it off, only to put it back on again, loosely. Or you toss the blanket onto the fire by accident and it dies-" she catches herself.

"ah, sorry. I'm thinking too much about it." She looks over at Levi and smiles.

Levi rolls his eyes at her and looks back at the sky. But he can't deny he's been affected by her words, just like he always is. He thinks about it, trying to discover if he feels that sort of thing with Petra.

But the only person he can think of is a little brat called Eren.

* * *

_Chapter 7, episode 3:_

_A Dim Light in the Darkness of Despair-__** The Wait, part 1**_

_Love has Earth to which she clings_

_With hills and circling arms about-_

_Wall within wall to shut fear out._

_But Thought has need of no such things,_

_For Thought has a pair of dauntless wings._

_Robert Frost; Title: Bond and Free_

* * *

**Once upon a time, before the creation of Adam and Eve, there were 2 similar beings, 2 angels, 2 twins that loved each other more than anything. **

**One was the Angel of Death and Dawn, and adored mortal races with all their heart. **

**The other was the Angel of the Moon, and adored their twin more than anything. The angel grew jealous of mortals for stealing their twins' affections, and hated humans with all their being.**

* * *

(Levi's p.o.v., 5 AF)

He had that dream again.

Not the nightmare-though he'd prefer it compared to this torturous dream. The nightmare was so much more easier to just brush off now, so easier to deal with than this –no, _these _(plural) types of dreams. Because in these dreams, he wasn't forced to watch Eren die.

He was forced to watch him live.

He relived ever moment, every shared breath they had taken. Mostly his dreams consisted of him sitting in his bed, watching Eren sleep. Those were the easiest ones. Those were the ones he yearned for when he finally allowed his exhaust to overtake his body. They were the first dreams of Eren he had that didn't come with blood and death and titans.

They were also the first dreams to visit him 3 years ago when he joined Irwin. On the night he had his first mission outside Wall Rose, he had dreamed of Eren. It seemed so peaceful, so serene. Eren's eyes were closed as Levi gently played with his brown mop of hair, watching the hairs fall from his fingertips. Eren moaned and shifted closer, his toddler hands wrapping around Levi's mid-chest. And Levi's heart got lodged in his throat.

It felt so…real. The warm finger tips and cool breath from Eren's lips as he slept. The whispering brown hair under his chin, tickling his senses. And the words that Eren had sighed as he nuzzled his chest.

"Levi…" it sounded like a prayer, a calling. Eren was identifying what he wanted from the older boy.

When he woke, he wanted to kill himself.

And somehow, with each dream his fear of blood seemed to recede, such as the moon waxes and wanes each night. Within one year he no longer recalled the picture of Eren being eaten by a titan, no longer flinched at the sight of blood because it reminded him so much of that nightmare.

Irwin had chalked it off as something psychological. The more he was around blood and people remained unaffected by it, the less the fear became. Levi just assumed he'd gone shit-for-brains and even told his commander so.

The only response he got were those shitty caterpillar eyebrows raising up and a look that made him think of when you needed to shit but couldn't and you didn't understand why. Hanji even agreed with the eyebrow part but not the constipated look part.

Whatever you wanted to call it, his problem was still fixed. Sure, he's always had this extreme OCD problem, but his fear of blood was cured. He wasn't so hasty to remove himself from situations with blood, and his nightmare didn't visit him so often when he slept. All because he started to dream those dreams of Eren.

But then they grew into a problem.

He started to dream-relive- each moment shared with his brat. He began to yearn for death, to see Eren again. Often when he woke up he'd take his knife and place it on his throat. But then he'd curse his hand to hell because it remained still, no matter how worked up he got. And when Petra learned what he did in the morning she started to wake with him, watching him closely. He hated to make her worry, but he hated her wariness even more. He wasn't some sort of cannon with a short fuse that'll explode at any given time. He wasn't made of glass.

"But you're not made of stone either." Was Petra's response.

"What human is?" he snapped back.

But in this dream, he revisited that home, that day Eren first met him. He saw the cherubic smile, the green eyes blinking up at him innocently. The small hands reaching up to hold on to his hair. The whisper of some sort of strand, some string that connected their minds together for one blissful moment. The giggle Eren had uttered. The dreamy look on his face as Levi cooed at him. He felt the world slip away.

And suddenly he was in the kitchen again. Eren slipping the ring on his finger, Eren smiling, Eren shaking his hand as they made their vow, Eren leaning over and kissing him. As he dreamed this, Levi wept silent tears, remembering the moment. Eren's lips had tasted of his favored vanilla ice cream and mint leaves. The kiss lasted for so long due to Levi's shock. But as he realized what was happening, it was too late, and his lips opened hesitantly.

Eren responded eagerly, though sloppily. Levi knew this to be true since he had already kissed a (proud) number of three girls before this moment. But he was damned sure no kiss tasted more sweeter, or made his insides warm like this one did. He felt so full, so complete, that he couldn't help himself. He knew it was wrong. He knew Eren was only five. He was too young for such things. But then, wasn't Levi, too?

He took control over that sweet kiss, cupping his hands over Eren's cheeks and tilting his head up. His fingers tangled and got loss in that brown hair as he opened his mouth and nibbled softly on the younger boys' lips. Eren complied and opened his lips, confused and innocent but oh so curious for this new adventure. He was like a ship with no sails and Levi the captain. He knew not of where to dock, but trusted Levi to steer them in a steady course, safe from any dangers.

But his tiny lungs made him break the kiss, pushing away and gasping for breath. It took Levi three seconds to come to his senses, and by that time he had already fixed his brat with a glare. He closed his eyes and breathed, trying to calm down. His hands reached for Eren again when he was ready.

"Come 'ere, Brat." He beckoned with his eyes.

Eren climbed onto his lap again.

"Breath through your nose." Levi advised softly. Eren nodded, realizing this new lesson Levi was teaching him. The older boy's hands found the youngsters' face and tilted it to one side. "And keep you head tilted like this." Eren blinks innocently, his eyes full of understanding.

Levi brought their lips together again, beginning where they left off. His tongue darted out to taste the softening surface of Eren's lips. He moaned softly at the coppery taste, tongue sliding from side to side furiously. Eren whimpered at the order's ministrations. He opened his own mouth and tongue to taste Levi's lips. Levi relented, tongue withdrawing. Eren moaned as he discovered the taste of his lips. Levi hummed his agreement, as if they were having a conversation by way of lips. He nibbled again on Eren's lips. The younger's tongue barely grazed Levi's lips and Levi gasped.

He broke the kiss, kissing Eren once again chastely before pushing him away. The two gasped for breath.

"Levi…" said boy looks up to curious green eyes.

"Will you teach me about this?" Eren asks. His hands rest on Levi's shoulders as he looks up at him with curiosity. "Will you teach me how to kiss?"

* * *

-**Information**** open for disclosure to the general public-**

The Military squad was put in place almost immediately after the discovery of titans. Originally, they were the keepers of public peace and order, until the walls. Now they are the personal soldiers to the king. This squad is well popular for being the safest regimen, as well as the most corrupted.

* * *

(3rd person p.o.v., 2 years AF)

"Come on, please? They said you were the most natural out of everyone." Eren pleads. But Reiner shakes his head. "Sorry. I'd like to help, but…I can't really describe it." Bertholdt shakes his head as well. "I'm not that much help, either."

_He's persistent, isn't he? _His mate whispers through the bond. Reiner keeps his mask up, though inside he agrees patronizingly. _Yes. Yes he is. _

_I wish our child would turn out like him. _Ghost like fingers brush over Reiner's stomach and he fights to remain unfazed. Warmth spread from where his mate touches through the bond, and Reiner shivers slightly. Briefly he lets his mind wander from the conversation. He focuses on the life within him, thinks back on all he learned from his family.

The baby wouldn't come until three years from now, and he wouldn't show until the last 3 months. While he was pregnant, he would excrete a hormone that made everyone protective of his body. He, however, would become more and more possessive of those around him, taking the role of a caring mother. And that was already starting to show. He took immediate control over everyone, setting times to go to bed and when to wake up and who got to use the bathroom first and last. He made everyone clean out their beds before sleeping in them, noticing the thin layer of dust on the bed.

He also noticed that Eren called dips on a particular bed that smells strongly of someone else, someone he couldn't place his finger on. It smelled like his family, yes, but something was different. He didn't know what it was.

Speaking of, there were a few characters he wasn't sure about. And it wasn't because of the motherly instincts. They rubbed him the wrong way, humanly and otherwise. He already knew about Annie. He had got the information from that…._man. _He didn't know what to call him.

Annie was a part of his family, but grew up within the confines of humans. She was to aid them in this crusade, the man had sneered. He then went on to threaten to take away the child within him if he failed, and disappeared. And that morning when he woke, he reached for his mate, seeking his warmth. His mate turned towards him and pulled him into a welcoming embrace, soothing his shaking body. He didn't ask questions. He didn't demand to know what was wrong he seemed to understand Reiner's fear and responded with loving care, reaching with both body and mind to sooth him. And quietly Reiner informed him of what he was told.

But the biggest person he couldn't bin down was Lyn. She was otherworldly, almost like the feeling he got from people in his family, but not just quite. There was some sort of hidden power, some hidden secret that differed from people like him. And when he tried to feel around for more with his mind, he was blocked by a wall. He could've easily broken it, but just then Lyn had looked at him with her brown eyes. They flashed briefly a bright red before fading back into a brown. But that look alone made Reiner freeze and back off, his mind straying away from hers. She twirled on her foot and walked away, saying nothing.

_Staying faaaaar away from that one_, he thinks.

As his mind returns to thinking of his child. Berthodlt speaks with Armin and Eren.

"You two are different though." He says, breaking the silence. The two friends look at him, blue and green eyes blinking wide.

_Oh god, they're still children. _He thinks, his heart filling with remorse. _Would our child look at us this way? _

"Different from _them_." _So different. You're nothing like the stories we were told." Humans are greedy creatures that understand nothing and never would." They always said. _

"Them?" Armin says, his blue eyes blinking widely. What did he mean by "them"?

"The people who don't understand, don't know, how terrible titans are." He almost slips and says 'human' instead of 'Titan.' He looks away towards the other boys, laughing and joking with each other before going to bed. It reminded him of his childhood days, up in th mountains beyond Wall Maria. The heat-haze days he spent pining for Reiner, knowing of their fated mating.

His mate runs a ghost hand through their bond, feeling soft and cool compared to the warm room. His enticing smell wafts past Bertholdt's nose and he struggles not to reach out and touch Reiner.

"If you don't mind me asking….but where are you guys from?"

"A small village, on the Southside of Wall Maria." Bertholdt says automatically, the practice answer dancing off of his lips.

"Whoa, then that means-" Eren says, before getting cut off but Bertholdt. "-yes. We were far away from any major city, so by the time the news reached us, the titans had already arrived." He fakes a shiver. "We heard the footsteps, but we thought it was distant thunder. Then when I opened a window-" He thinks back to long ago, when that man with pale eyes and dark hair had appeared leaning on the window of their home, smiling and saying he had something they wanted.

"You don't have to go any further than that. I think they understand." Reiner says quickly. If he was addressing the memory or what Bertholdt was saying, he didn't know. Suddenly, he felt like he wanted to show these two something. They knew about Eren, and what he was. And although they disliked humans, Armin was already accepted in their minds. He told himself not to make any attachments, but it was hard to when your mate's pregnant and you thinking about what you wanted your child to be like. Eren was what he wanted his child to look similar to. He wanted his child to share that same innocence, as well as Armin's intelligence and inner strength. He sent his feelings towards his mate and Reiner responded likewise.

"…Come with me." He says, rising. The other three look up as he rises. "I want to show you two something."

* * *

**Long ago, in the time of the 2 aforementioned angels, it was said that one could walk through the night just before dawn, and see floating balls of light. They were the souls of all those who died within the darkness of night, and sought the dawn to say good-bye to their loved ones. **

**Yes…they were the manifestations of the undying feelings from all those who disappeared into the night…**

* * *

"Most of them are here to keep up appearances." Bertholdt lights his lanterns and heads forward, knowing the others would follow. "You're seen as a coward if you choose production work instead of this when you're twelve."

_Just like in my family. _He thinks. "Yet, I'm not that much different." He climbs over a small cliff that comes up to his chin. When he reaches the top, he places the lantern down and reaches a hand down. Reiner picks up Armin and hands him over, then Eren. Reiner climbs up on his own, despite the warnings his mate sent him through the bond. "I want to join the military regime and live inside the interior."

_Not quite._ _I want to get in so I can complete this task and live with my mate in that house again, raising our children. _

He picks up the lantern again and returns to walking up the path. "I might throw everything away if I can't achieve my goal."_ Even if it means you, Eren. Even if it means humanity. Nothing is going to get in the way of my dream. _"I have no will of my own, you see." _but I have so much guilt. _

And as if he knows the inner war within Bertholdt, Armin says, "Cherishing your life is admirable, you know." Eren hums his agreement.

"As for me…" Reiner says, affected by the words of his mate. "I just want to return to our hometown. The one we lost." _Our home. _  
All he wanted was to return home, much like his mate, and live peacefully. He wanted to raise his children in love and happiness, far away from this war between human and titan. "That's all I care about." Eren and Armin gaze over at Reiner, amazed. His eyes, however, are on his mate's retreating back. "I will do it. No matter what."

Eren stares after him. his goals sound almost no different than his own, with the exception of killing all the titans.

"_There are no heroes," the voice said solemnly. "Only survivors_."

"What about you?" Eren jerks his eyes up to Bertholdt, who was looking over his shoulder from the front to address Them. "Why do you two want to be soldiers?"

Armin answers first. "I…1 year ago I watched as my grandfather and several others were forced to try to take Wall Maria back. They knew it was hopeless from the start. So I…" his eyes look to the ground.

"I…just don't want to force humans to do such a thing, ever again…"

Reiner and Berholdt feel for him, their bond strengthening as they both thought:

_Will our child think that of us as well, when this is all over?_

"I…" Eren says, looking at the ground as well. "I just want to…" his gaze is filled overwhelming hesitation, which changes quickly into steadfast anger and ambition. "I want to kill all titans."

The 2 titan-shifters look back at Eren, his blue eyes seemingly glaring accusingly at them. "With my own two hands." Eren's mind thinks back to his mother's death.

"So your encounter with titan's _didn't _break your will?" Reiner asks, appalled.

"Yes. But now it's a question of whether or not I'll become a soldier." Eren says, determination filling his voice.

Reiner scoffs quietly under his breath.

Their steps change as they move out of the forest. Almost immediately Berholdt stops while Reiner walks further out. Eren and Armin take in the dark lake below.

Up above, the moon peeks out from clouds and shines upon the lake, making it glisten and shine. The trees begin to shine as well, glowing even more brightly than the 2 boys had ever seen before. They stare in amazement and wonder, the light reflecting in their eyes. From where they were, they could see clouds hovering over the lake, sailing quickly from one end to another.

"Start over from scratch, starting from your belt adjustment tomorrow, and you'll do fine." Reiner tells them. Eren blinks and turns his gaze to look at Reiner. The older looking boy turns to look at him. "I'm certain of it." He grins. Eren smiles back. "Thank you."

'"Eren Yeager, wasn't it?"

He nods. "Yeah. Reiner Braun, right?"

He nods, and offers a hand. Eren takes it and they shake, grinning at each other. Armin looks on.

They then all silently agree to head back then, Armin taking the lead with the lantern.

Bertholdt glances at Reiner, and their bond fills with 3 strong emotions; One was fear, the other was love, and the last was new found loyalty to Eren.

Would their child be like Armin, who knew the true enemy and seek to kill them with mercy?

Or would their child be like Eren, filled with anger and revenge for all of those who had died?

Deep in the darkness where the lanterns light could not reach, Bertholdt reached for Reiner's hand, clasping it tightly, almost painfully.

* * *

-**Information**** open for disclosure to the general public-**

In 842, Humanity gained a new fighter in the war against titans. Quickly rising to the title of Corporal in the span of three years, Levi Ackerman is Humanity's strongest solider. His origins can be traced to Shiganshina district, beyond Wall Maria.

* * *

(Levi's p.o.v., 8 months AF)

"If you keep petting my cat like that he'll bite you." Levi warns, not even looking up from the report he was working on.

He feels rather than sees Lyn's rebellious look. "No, he won't."

One of Levi's eyebrows raise but he makes no comment. In his head, he begins a countdown, starting from three.

2.

1.

"OW!"

Levi questions why he bothers.

"Go wash your hands and bandage them before I kick you out." He hears the soft thud from Lyn's feet as she rushes to the bathroom. He keeps his eyes on his paper, not wanting to look. His cat brushes against his feet and he reaches down to scratch his head. "Sorry, Corporal, that you had to deal with Lyn's shitty petting." His fingers graze over the tuxedo cat's dark overcoat, softly touching the areas Lyn had touched.

The cat meows and purrs, rubbing his cheek into Levi's hand.

"So what are you working on anyway?" the question comes from across from him. Levi doesn't even look up. "Reports Irwin wants me to write." Lyn cocks her head to the side.

"What kind of reports?" she reaches over to grab one, but Levi snatches it before she can. "The special kind."

"Aww. Can't I see?" she pleads. Levi shakes his head.

"No. Shitty people who can't pet cats without being bitten don't deserve to read my reports."

"Aww." She says, crossing her arms on the table and resting her chin on them. She watches as he returns to writing, his eyes glancing from paper to paper before jolting something down.

"So why am I here again?"

"I told you already, you little shit. Irwin and his shitty caterpillar eyebrows required you and me and Hanji for something. He said he'd explain when he got here."

"I believe there was a Captain in there somewhere."

"Fine, then, _Captain _Shitty Caterpillar Eyebrows required you and me and Hanji for something. He said he'd explain when he got here."

"…remind me again why you live in your ex-girlfriend's house?"

He smacks her head with his hand. "That's classified."

"How classified?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Like, is it military classified? Or is it bedroom classified?"  
"Military classified."

"Oh okay, then you can tell me. Military classified doesn't matter."

Levi looks at her. "What?"

She smiles widely. "You don't know? Military classified is pointless since the public always finds out anyway. It's only a matter of time. Bedroom classified, however, stays in the bedroom."

"How is bedroom classified more- you know what, I don't care. Shut your shitty face, you constipated little shit."

"Oh, so we're on constipated now?"

"Stop before I shove this pencil up your ass so hard you shit out of your mouth."

"Are you saying I need to stop while I'm ahead?"

"No, I'm saying you need to stop before I make you throw up shit then eat it."

"What's this about eating shit?" The door bangs open and Hanji steps in. "Are we having an experiment?"

"If we are, then I volunteer Lyn as your first test subject." Levi says, grabbing her wrist and lifting her arm up in the air.

"I'm always amazed at how far you three can go on talking about nothing but shit." Irwin says as he walks in. "Everyone else can go on talking about nothing, but you three," He shakes his head, as if no word is descriptive enough.

Lyn smiles. "Hello, Captain Shitty Caterpillar Eyebrows." Levi's hand smacks his face.

Hanji, however, says, "You noticed it too?!"

"Alright, alright, stop it, you three. I swear children act more mature than you three put together."

"Sorry, sir." Lyn laughs. "And your eyebrows are not shitty. They're cute, kind of."

"First you embarrass me, now you compliment me?" Irwin's eyebrows shot up. "You're one patch of sunshine, Lyn." She laughs.

"Anyways, people, let's get down to business." Hanji says. Corporal jumps up Lyn's body to rest his body on her shoulder. She strokes his head softly before following the others to the table. Irwin sits at the head, Levi and Hanji on either side of him. Papers are pushed aside to make room for a map that Irwin brought, and Lyn leans over Hanji's shoulder as Irwin speaks.

"As you know, I called you here for a reason. The people upstairs gave me permission for something top secret. I'm allowed to bring any three people of my choosing."

"And you chose us?" Hanji asks, feeling honored.

"He chose us because we're replaceable." Lyn says before Irwin can respond. "None of us stand out for any achievements. Well, except Levi. But other than that, we're average, everyday soldiers with no family. No one will miss us, no one will notice when we're gone."

Silence fills the room. "I always knew you were the smartest, Lyn." Irwin says. "Oh no, sir." She says, waving her hand as if to brush way his comment. "Just pointing out what we all know."

"What's the mission?" Levi asks. He wanted to get to the point already. Irwin looks at him. "Our mission is simple. We need to capture two titans and bring them back for testing. But that's just on the surface." He looks at the map, and points to a spot outside of Wall Rose. "We'll be looking into the rumors found recently about the origin of titans. And," he looks up at the 6 pairs of eyes watching him.

"We'll be looking into an experiment labeled, 'Operation Eden,' as well as 2 people named Grisha Yeager and someone going by the name of 23."

Levi blinks.

* * *

_**a/n: thank you for your reading *bows***_


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/n: songs sung in this chapter:**_

_**-Wiccan lullaby**_

_**-Eutrupe**_

_**-Leaves on the tree**_

* * *

(Carla's p.o.v., 5 years BF (Before Fall))

"_Heaven's gift to me…"_ Carla sang softly. One of her arms cradles her babe as she rocks to and fro in her chair. Her other hand strokes through Levi's hair. His body rests on the bed beside her, and he sighs in his sleep quietly. She smiles. "_Just the way you are…"_ Eren gurgles up at her. She bounces a finger off of his nose as she sings the next line to the long forgotten lullaby. "_A new aged child from a distant shor-re…" _

Eren hiccups and his sea green eyes begin to cloud. His eyelids begin to lower as her song lulls him to the land of dreams.

"_It feels so good, just to be _

_So close to your love…_

_You are heaven's gift _

_To me…"_ Carla coos at him. Eren gives her a small smile. She sings the next verse softly, her voice laced with honesty.

"_You are so sweet and pure, just the way you are_

_Mama's precious jewel_

_Papa's rising star._

_There's so much in life for you to see_

_And so much to be_

_You are heaven's gift_

_To me."_

Carla's voice fades to a hum. She forgets the next verses, but she remembers the tune. And either way Eren could care less because he was already asleep. Levi's shoulders fall and his neck extends as he relaxes on the bed. Carla smiles and continues to hum as she places Eren beside the older boy. The smile remains as she watches Levi reach instinctively for Eren, pulling him close.

"_It feels so good, just to be _

_So close to your love…"_ She sings thoughtfully as she pulls the covers over the two.

"_Heaven's gift to me, just the way you are_

_A new aged child, always in my heart…"_ she suddenly remembers one verse as she walks around the room, cleaning up. She places discarded toys back onto the dresser and folds trampled dirty clothes over her arm. A shoe almost trips her on her way out. She throws the two boys a promising glare over her shoulder. But she has to smile. Levi was cuddling Eren protectively, the babe's fingers lost in silky strands of hair, the fire dancing off Levi's jet black hair, his breath making the babe's tuff of growing hair flutter.

"_There's so much in life for you to be_

_And so much to see…"_

She sings under her breath as she backs towards the door.

"_You are heaven's…" _ her fingers brush against the door knob but she doesn't move. She wanted to capture this picture forever, etch it into her mind. Eren was so safe with Levi, and in turn the older was happy with Eren. She was sure that if something happened Levi would always be there to protect him. The same went for Eren. The two were halves of a whole, and she wouldn't have it any other way.

"_Gift to me…"_

_You're heaven's gift to Eren, Levi. You're his gift from above. Protect him always. _

* * *

_**Chapter 8, episode 3:**_

_A dim light in the darkness of despair- __**the Wait, part 2**_

* * *

"_You can't get back and see it as he saw it._

_It's too long of a story to go into now._

_You'd have to have been there and lived it._

_Then you wouldn't looked on it as just a matter_

_Of who began it between the two races. "_

_Robert Frost, poem: The Vanishing Red_

* * *

(8 months AF)

It was when Levi was packing that Petra confronted him. She had grabbed his wrist in a cold hand and whispered, "I think we should talk."

Levi took one look at her and nodded. He turned to look at Hanji and Lyn and tilted his head to the door. Strangely, it was Hanji that understood. She ushered Lyn outside with the excuse of "Ah, he's out of cleaning towels. You _know_ how he feels about that. And besides," she added when Lyn protested. "We need to pack up _your_ stuff too."

And with a loud bang, the two former lovers were left in silence. Levi shifted on his feet, his only sign of discomfort, and Petra brushed her hair behind her ears, his eyes following the path they took. How many times had he done the same? How many soft caresses did they have between them? Levi himself was a man of words, not affectionate touches. Only in rare times did he muster the strength to touch her in any affectionate way. It wasn't because he was shy; rather, it was because of his past, since Eren was the only other person he touched after his mother died.

_Well,_ he thinks, blinking, _there was Lyn, too. _

"Levi…" he flicks his dark eyes to her. She smiled briefly. "You know, I always thought your eyes were a dark black, but they're really of a dark blue." She giggles as she watches Levi raise a hand to his face. "But I'm getting off subject." She looks away.

"Levi..." She says and sighs. "I've been patient with you. I gave you time, even after you broke things off." The wind blows through the open window and plays with her hair. Her eyes are still anywhere but on him, and Levi is only slightly surprised when he doesn't feel the pang of hurt he was expecting. "But…I have to know…"

She looks up at him. 'Did you ever love me?"

_Ah shit. _Levi thinks. How many nights did he stay up, thinking about the same question, tossing and turning under his covers as his mind search for the answer, searching through every sun-kissed memory, every frozen kiss they shared in the winters, every heart beat and breath shared between them. Did he ever feel the extent of her love? Did he ever fully tap into her feelings? He often thought that she was the well, and he was the bucket, filling himself with her sweet and cool water.

But after the Fall, and after he looked, really looked, into his mind, he found that, in truth, he was the bucket, and she was the one pulling the rope, after Eren let him fall into the darkness. It was she who dragged him up filled with, what she had thought of, love, but was actually desperation and loneliness. He realized that _he_ was the one who threw her down the well, that well filled with nothing, and expected her to perform a miracle.

What the fuck was wrong with him?! How could he throw Petra such a high expectation?! Petra, sweet, innocent, and unsuspecting Petra, who tried, who actually gave a damn, and he just-

No. he had to tell the truth. For both their sakes. And if not that, then she deserved it. No matter how painful.

"I won't deny the attraction, Petra-" he began. She interrupts him with a shout.

'Then why couldn't you return my feelings?!" She shouts, her golden eyes looking at him in accusation. "Why couldn't you let it grow into something more?!" she huffs. Her chest rises and falls in heaving breathes.

"But that's all it was, Petra. Just affection. An infract-" he continues, only to stop himself. "I can't lie to you, Petra. I

"I'll be damned if I don't tell you the truth. You deserve that much." He sinks rather than sits on the edge of the bed, his face resting in his hands. "I'm sorry. I wish it hadn't turned out this way." His drags his hand up his head to hold back his bangs. "I wish I could've returned your feelings." He said quietly.

"I'm sorry. Sorry for pulling you along. Sorry for not really taking your feelings into account. Sorry for…" He pauses. "Actually, I'm not sorry." He looks up to Petra, revelation in his eyes. 'I'm not sorry for anything."

Petra kneels down next to him. "What do you mean by that?" she asks quietly.

"I'm not sorry for our relationship." He responds. 'It was an experience, and you made it the best one I've ever had in my shitty life." He mumbles. "Holy shit. But I am sorry for ending it in this way. I'm sorry…that I couldn't realize I had fallen out of love with you sooner." He takes her hands in his. "Fuck, just listen to me. The only words I can say are "I'm sorry.'"

She squeezes his hands. "Sometimes that's enough." She whispers kindly. "But what do you mean by 'falling out of love' with me?" her golden eyes search his face. Her lips part as she realizes the honest on his face, the pain and hurt and sorrow spreading across his face in the form of a burned map, directions and places lost and mixed up in different places.

She gasps as he leans in close. His lips grazes her as he whispers, 'I told you form the start, remember?"

_His hands slid up to cradle her face. His thumbs wipe away her tears. _

"_I think…."_

_She looks at him. _

"_I could…if it's you…"_

The memory clear in her mind, once again, he wipes the tears from her eyes, leans in close, and kisses her once on the lips. They trip over each other once, fleeting, and instead of feeling like a good-bye kiss it feels like an apology, but the words_ I'm sorry I couldn't return your feelings_ or _sorry I don't feel that way for you_ aren't brought to mind.

Instead the words, _I could've loved you, it could've worked if I hadn't realized one truth_ come to mind. And as Levi pulled away he kissed her cheek, her forehead, her eyes, and her nose before holding her to his heart. She'd scoff if she had the energy to. _How can I not misinterpret this? _She thinks fleetingly before Levi runs fingers through her hair. She sighs. _That's why. _No matter how much she wished it otherwise, his fingers would always remain brotherly-like, patronizing and gentle.

He would always be in love with someone else…if they had continued. Petra realized that from the beginning Levi loved Eren with all his heart, even if he hadn't known it, even if he hadn't realized it. Lyn had realized this faster than him…

_Was she trying to give me a better chance? _

Petra wept, tears stinging before they disappeared into Levi's shirt.

_Even if she was, it was for nothing, since Eren's name is engraved in Levi's heart. _

* * *

**-Information open for disclosure to the general public-**

Horses are the main transportation that people use outside of wall Sina. They pull wagons and carts for trade caravans and farmers. Built to carry heavy loads for long periods of time, the horses vary in size and color, from light tan to dark grey. Some reported cases claim dapple horses were also popular and very rare. Average life span is 15-25 years.

Military horses, on the other hand, do not vary in size and have few color differences. They were built to carry loads across vast terrain and have long-lasting stamina. Their average top speed is 70.76 km/h, and can keep running all day. Life span is usually 5-10 years, due to their line of work. One record stated that a military horse, from beginning to end, lives for 30-35 years.

* * *

(Levi's p.o.v., 8 months AF)

Lyn likes to sing.

She sings when she bathes, she sings when she cleans, and sometimes she sings at the most random of times; her voice just bursts through the walls of silence, filling the air with her sweet voice. And Levi was fine with it. In fact, most times when she sings he sits quietly beside, her, listening. He can feel the vibration coming from her as her voice carries note after note into the air. Sometimes he asks her to sing him to sleep. And always she grants his request.

She soon took over the duty of forcing him to go to sleep. She would hold his hand like he was a child and sing some sort of song. Some were in words he understood, others were in words he didn't. When he asked her about that she only said,

"Some villages have different languages. I know all of them." She hums.

"Why do they have different languages?" he had asked, feeling like a child as his head rested on her chest. Her fever warm arms were wrapped around him.

"Well, mostly because they're mountain villages, and they're independent. They each developed their own languages and have long forgotten ours." She had said. And she resumed singing, a sweet voice lulling him into nightmares. And that's when he realized something.

In all his life he had never slept alone. First it was his mother, then it was Eren, then his bed mate in Cadet Core, then Petra, and now it was Lyn. None were sexual. Each was solely for the purpose of sleeping. Each claimed he was a cuddlier, and he couldn't help it now. Lyn had laughed the first time, then ran her fingers through his hair softly. She had agreed because he was afraid to be alone in an empty cold bed for the first time. So she brought her warmth, heating up like a sun, and filled the missing space almost completely. Even Petra's cooling heat couldn't compare.

And her voice. It filled the silence with quiet laughter, small jokes, and relaxing warmth. She first would talk him to sleep, but one night she sang instead of talked, and Levi's dreams were of a dull black. He slept the best sleep he ever had in days. So the next night he asked for her to sing again and again. It grew routine then.

Then she began to sing during the day, in the soft light of the sun. She filled the silence of Petra's home with song, and whenever Hanji came over they sang together, fun songs and sad ones, laughing at the others' slip ups and off-key voice. Petra would stay, too, before heading to work. Her job was different than Hanji's. She couldn't come and go as she pleased. She had to sit at a desk all day long, reading report after report and keeping track of different things. She hadn't gotten a mission outside the walls yet.

But when she sat in the kitchen with Lyn and Hanji and watched the two sing, sometimes joining in herself, Levi would "smile." Hanji said it was this thing he did with his eyes, making them seem as though they were smiling while the rest of his face remained stoic.

Lyn knew how to cook really good food. Petra's parents even teased to hire her for a personal chef. But she had laughed and said no, saying she could never rob a friend of their money. So instead she made food for them, for free, at her own expense. Each night was filled with joyous laughter and bonding over her food. Lyn would always remain in the kitchen, however, but when she stepped out she had this smile on her face, one of innocent joy and soft care.

She'd sing then, too. Just as she was now, as they prepared for their mission beyond the wall. She was singing one of her songs in a different language, but her voice was beautiful, slow and gentle, filled with remorse and questioning. She buckled her gear on as she sang,

"_Wild Flower blossoming…_

_I beg of you, tell me this so I know too-"_

Hanji murmurs an "excuse me," before walking around Lyn and reaching for the blades. Irwin waits by the door of the storehouse, watching Lyn in awe as the three prepare. _He's never heard her sing, hasn't he?_

"_Why do people fight? _

_They act like it's right_

_Don't they know that that's no way to live?"_

She pauses to buckle her belt, then grabs blades for Levi and tosses it at him, before snapping her own on.

"_Bravely growing Flower_

_What can you see when you look down at me?_

_Why can't people say that they're sorry_

_For the way they have fought?_

_I thought we once could…"_

The last note she hangs on to as she steps through the door. Levi watches as she blinks, getting used to the darkness of night before heading for her horse. Larger than the rest of the horses, the light tan colored horse with a short white Mohawk mane topped with black tips nickers as she approaches. She blows a kiss at her. Her tail, also white with black tips, swishes from side to side.

"…I never knew she could sing." Irwin comments from behind Levi. Hanji pats him on the shoulder before heading for her own horse, a dark bay.

"No one did." Levi says quietly. "I don't think even she knows." He heads for his horse. Almost invisible, her black coat blended in with the night. "Para, relax, alright? I've got no time to race you with Takara." He glances over at said horse, pawing at the ground as Lyn runs her fingers of her neck. He watches as the black hoof digs into the ground before dragging his gaze up its black socks that only reached her knees to her saddle. Takara was a muscle horse, built to drive carts and supplies through dangerous terrain. She had been abused by her owner and sold to several others before landing in Lyn's care. Barely at the age of 5, the horse was in shambles. She looked twenty and old, bones poking out due to starvation and lack of nutrition. She bit anyone who came near to her head, and seemed to hate all humans and sentenced to her death, yet…

Lyn saw something in Takara. Maybe that's why she named her so, since the name meant "treasure." She approached the horse unafraid, grabbed her large head and pulled it down so she could whisper into the fly-bitten ear. Into it she whispered something that made the light in the horses' eyes fade from fire to a dull flame. The horse nickered in a broken tone before collapsing in exhaustion. Her shoulder rested on Lyn's.

Of course, Lyn got a few nips and was kicked off along the way, but from there on she retrained the horse to obey humans. Lyn liked to say she appealed to the beast's better nature, showed her humans weren't all the bad. But she had performed real magic.

Para nickers, nuzzling Levi with her black muzzle. Levi runs his fingers over his horses' slender face absently, down her arching neck to scratch her withers in companionship. The horse sighs in pleasure, nibbling on his pant leg gently. His fingers move on to check her saddle.

Para was of noble lineage, gifted to Levi once he was drafted into the army. Barely 4 years old, she was a descendant of a well-known racer in the Survey Corps, although one look at her thin legs would say otherwise. Her tail sometimes did this funny thing where the part connected to her body would raise and the hairs of her tail fell like a waterfall down her legs. Her neck arched in a show-off way sometimes, but otherwise was relaxed and stretched out. She loved to race; in fact, out of all the other horses Levi had met so far she was faster. Only Takara seemed to be able to keep up with her. And even that was with great difficulty.

Levi checked the girth to be certain that she could breathe easily as they made the trek, fixed the saddle bags so they didn't bump annoyingly at her sides, and made sure her bridle was comfortable before mounting. By that time everyone else was already mounted and waiting. Hanji and Lyn knew better than to rush him, and although his mask of calm remained Irwin looked a little ticked. Especially when Levi said,

"What are we waiting for? Let's go."

* * *

_I have lived a total of 3 lives._

_In my first life, I cared for naught save one thing. That was my most precious, most beloved thing in my existence. Nothing else was important, nothing mattered, my deeds and actions amounted to nothing. Nothing else made me feel more alive. Nothing else gave me reason to live. Nothing else made me think my past would ever catch up to me._

_But that was my own foolishness._

* * *

Lyn once described that "riding Takara was like riding a mountain. A big, steady, gentle mountain that would do anything you asked." Levi doubted her, unsure. But when she rode her horse she made it look so easy. Her hands were relaxed at all times, never pulling the reins harshly or kicking Takara's sides too hard. And Takara acted like a giant dog, doing whatever Lyn requested with pride. She pranced almost constantly, dancing from hoof to hoof in a playful manner. Which was kind of funny to look at when she was almost twice the size of Hanji's horse.

But today, Takara was relaxed, chewing on her bit as she walked. Her wide hooves clipped-clopped beside Joker's, Hanji's horse, narrow hooves, matching each sure stride with her own. Lyn murmured praises to her as she stroked her neck and scratched her withers. Takara shook her head, her mane forming an 's' as she moved her neck. Lyn laughed at her quietly.

Joker blew a raspberry, unamused despite his name. Takara stretched out her neck and nipped him playfully.

Levi had to smile at the horses' relaxed manner and easy conversation. Their personalities were different from their owners yet somehow they managed to find a way to get along with each other. Joker was the mood fixer and the oldest in the group. His playful and good-natured temper flowed out of him and into Takara and Para. Takara was the most experienced out of the others, unafraid of whatever stepped in her way. But she also very gentle, known to let children climb all over her.

Para was the youngster. Cheerful and full of energy, she always got into some sort of trouble, whether it was playing with her food or chasing neighborhood pets in the military barn. She was very sassy, sometimes going her own way instead of the way she was told to go. But when Levi was on her she was the epitome of mannerly. Other than the times when she arched her neck over a direction he chose and turning to point the other way, as if to say, _try this way!, _she was the picture-perfect horse.

Irwin's horse was a light chestnut named Sylph. He was fast, but more well-known for the way he ran. His hooves almost seemed to fly off of the ground as he ran, gait smooth and quick. Other than the way he ran Levi didn't know much more about Sylph. Besides his running he was a very polite horse, waiting patiently while the others ate or pranced about him.

Levi's thoughts started to take a turn towards earlier, back in Petra's home, as he thinks about Irwin.

"_We'll be looking into an experiment labeled, 'Operation Eden,' as well as 2 people named Grisha Yeager and someone going by the name of 23." _

_Levi blinks. _

"_We already investigated into the matter of his children and came up with nothing. Our last records have him located in Shiganshina district, which has been lost to the titans." Irwin continues. _

"_So how are we to do this?" Hanji asks. Lyn remains quiet, stroking Corporal's head gently. Her golden bangs hide her eyes. _

"_We will start with the first plan, which is to capture 2 titans. While we're out there, a few trusted colleagues are going to look into Grisha, finding out where he is. Reports claim he was far within Wall Rose when the attack occurred."_

"_Excuse me, but…" Lyn's voice is small. All look at her in surprise. _

"_What about this 23? What are we going to do about them?" _

"_I've looked into that. Apparently there has been no report of a person named 23, with the exception of experiments conducted by Grisha. One mention was in a small case involving a girl named Historia and her family. They've described 23 to be a young girl wearing a dark cloak with a hood covering her face." Irwin frowns. "There were no mentions her making it to Wall Rose. But some documents get misplaced, some forgotten. I'm sure we'll find more if we make this trek. Maybe she'll be out there still, surviving." _

_Lyn had nodded then. "I'll get the horses."_

What had been going through your mind then, Lyn? He thinks as he looks over at her. She grinning, laughing at a joke Hanji had said.

_Why were your eyes so emtpy? _

* * *

**-Information open for disclosure to the general public-**

Shiganshina was well-known for breeding the fastest and most even-tempered military horses out of the rest. The horses proved to be faithful companions, easily trained and cared for. The city's reputation was built upon those horses. However, the city was infamous for its underground horse-racing.

* * *

Many years ago, Levi once came to a lake that looked like this pond. He could still remember it all clearly. The hazy heat, the tall grasses, the water, and Eren.

Back then his mother had dragged him along with the Yeager family. Grisha would almost always be away so only Carla and Eren would come. The mothers would sit under the shade of the large pine trees as the boys played by the water. They threw stones at the water bugs or tried to skip them over the surface, wrestled in the grass, or got lost in the tall cattail trees. The latter was always Eren. And when he did get lost, he's start to cry and howl, calling for Levi.

Levi would sigh then before heading in and grabbing Eren's hand. As they left, the brat would cling tightly to their joined hands.

Since the brat didn't know how to swim and Levi didn't know how to teach him, they usually stuck to standing by the waters' edge. But after the first few times that got boring. So they decided to look for flowers in the surrounding grass, sometimes finding berries and herbs. Eren was the idiot who ate the berries without checking to see if they were poisonous. And yet, Levi was the bigger fool, eating them right alongside him.

But those times were few and far between. Mostly they just picked flowers and gave them to their mothers. And it was Carla who came up with the bright idea to torture Levi and braid flowers into his hair. His mother had called him over and, before he could react, held him down as Carla braided quickly, her fingers flying though his hair. Eren was called over by Levi's muffled shouting and protesting.

If he had his way he would've torn out the flowers immediately and forget such a thing had ever happened. But when Eren had looked up to him then with his wide green eyes, smiled at him in that way of his, he couldn't. Eren wrapped his arms around him tightly. It went unspoken that the brat wanted the flower to stay there. One way or another, Levi was doomed.

He couldn't refuse his brat. Never once could he say no to him. So every time they went to the lake the mothers braided flowers into their hair. Eren was the bigger sport, giggling and laughing at the feel of his mother braiding his hair.

He could hear it now. It echoed in the back of his mind as he stared at the flower in his hand, the ponds water swirling around his legs. His pants felt like silk as it brushed against his skin, his shirt lifting slightly under the surface.

They made camp after a day of riding. Irwin had chosen a spot deep within forage of trees, hidden from any wandering titan. It was just a small clearing with a small pond for water. They had replenished their water supply and let the horses take this fill of water. Para, like always, played with the water pail wand tipped it over, Takara nipping her patronizingly. Joker tipped his over as well, making Takara sigh exasperatedly. Irwin patted her in sympathy. "I know, Takara, I know."

Levi didn't know what had possessed him then. He just knew that he wanted to step into the water. So mindlessly he walked into the water, still fully-clothed, wanting to remember the green eyed boy he treasured and loved, the doe-eyed mother he thought of as a second parent, and Vorebend, with her jet black hair and silver eyes. The white flower in his hand made him think of her.

"_The leaves on the tree reach up to the sky as the roots reach down _

_Through the de-ep, dark earth…"_ Hanji sang childishly as she wrung out her sleeping roll. Lyn joined in from her spot by the fire.

"_The leaves on the trees reach up to the sky as the root reach down_

_Through the de-ep, dar-rk earth."_

The song they sang was simple, only those two lines as the lyrics. It's relaxing and repetitive tune made it easy to sing. But still, Lyn's voice faded away as she focused on setting up camp, and Hanji began to whistle the tune as she worked. The horses ears flickered whenever she walked by them. Joker nosed his way into her pocket, knowing a treat or two was in there. Irwin rested against a tree as he kept an eye out for any danger.

Levi let his mind drift from his memories to the sounds of camp. He closed his eyes. His mind faded to a numbing silence as he focused on the relaxing sounds.

Lyn cursing as the tent fell again, Hanji trying to get answers from stray bugs, her intense gaze scaring them, Irwin's soft chuckle as he witnesses a graduated solider (one of the top ten at that) hop like a frog across the grass, the horses sigh and nicker at each other, chewing softly on each other's withers in companionship. The swish of their tails as they whipped flies off of the others face, Sylph resting his chin on Joker's back, Takara trying to talk sense into Para's head as the filly raced around her, darting away from sharp nips or kicks from a hoof.

Hanji whistling again as she gave up trying to be a frog and helped Lyn. Lyn's grateful chuckle. The rise of the tent. The satisfying stretch of a rope as it was pulled tighter. Water being drunk obnoxiously loud from a bucket. The sound of feet shifting, being relieved of some of its weight. Rock sliding against rock. A spark forming from the gritting sound. The cackle of wood as it burned. The sound of a dead deer being dragged from its hidden spot. A knife cutting through its skin. Quiet murmurs of women voices as they worked. Hanji's random loud noises as she exclaimed over a piece of the body or praised the dead deer's body. Lyn's quiet apologies.

The sound of Irwin picking the deer meat up and impaling it with a portable rod. The clang as it was placed over the fire. Lyn sitting on the grass beside the fire, tending to it as the meat cooked.

The hum of her voice as someone whistled along with her. Levi had thought it was Hanji. But when he opened his eyes he saw Irwin, although gazing off into the distance, whistling along with Lyn's hum.

* * *

**When I was born, Mommy smiled and named me after her grandmother. **

**My name means 'yes.' In my villages tongue, it means too many letters. It's like a deep red color, like the autumn's leaves as they fell from their high branches onto houses and blew in the breezes. Unnoticed. Never mentioned. It is like the wind passing through the willows as my daddy and mommy makes me attend the local priest's sermons. **

**It was my great-grandmother's name. Villagers loved to say she was a wild woman, never known to sit in one place in her youth. Something changed, though, and she began to sit by the window, resting her chin on her hand and her elbow on the windowsill as she stared out to watch the autumn's leaves blow past her. **

**I would've like to known her. She was full of spunk, the villagers said. So wild she couldn't marry. But that wasn't said about her falling in love. **

…

…**people say her heart was broken because she fell in love with a trader. He had promised her the world, and she believed him. But she was foolish, the villagers said. And now she was stuck like this, looking out the window for the rest of her life, resting her sadness on the windowsill and watching her life blow away like the leaves of the coming winter, frail and crackling under your feet when you stepped on them. **

…

**I inherited her name, and, it seems, her spot on the windowsill, watching time float by on autumn leaves, wishing to have met the woman who sat here from before.**

**The woman who remembered the days when humans were free of Titans.**

* * *

"I think I owe you an explanation." Irwin begins. His companions look over to him from their spots around the fire. Levi snorts. Hanji ignores him and leans in closer.

"Operation Eden was a report found by accident 2 years back. It was an experiment conducted by several different scientists before the last one, which was Grisha Yeager. The paper was written entirely in different codes, and so far we've only uncovered that they were researching something between humans and titans. We speculate that they might have been looking into the origin of titans." Irwin crosses his arms. "Evidence does support this theory, however…"

Lyn cocks her head to the side. "What?"

"There's one thing that bothers me. The number of test subjects is at least over a hundred. On such a large scale, how could we have never heard of this before?"

"As you said," Levi interjects. "Papers get misplaced, some forgotten because some stupid shit didn't do their job right." Irwin nods. "Seeing as I don't want to be classified as one of those, I have to tell you this." Three heads turn to Levi. "I knew Grisha. I grew up with his son until I was enlisted in the army. In his basement he had this creepy-ass door. He told me to never ever open the door." Levi snorted, trying not to show his hurt from recalling old memories. "Didn't have to tell me twice."

"What are you saying?" Irwin asks.

"I'm _saying_ that," Levi huffs. "The old geezer must've had something done in that basement. There might be some more clues as to what Operation Eden was in there. A diary, a notebook, records. Anything. He was a scientist." He points at Hanji. 'And from what I've learned from this one, is that they horde their research. There has to be something in there."

"You're right." Irwin says in astonishment. So all we need to do-"

"-is find the key. But we're skipping over a giant threshold here." Lyn interjects. "Shiganshina is overrun with titans. Plus, we don't know if the basement is even intact still."

"No shit." Levi says. "It's a risk, but I think we should take it." He flicks his gaze to the leader. "Just my opinion." _I can keep you three save. I have to. _

"Levi…" Irwin trails off. "Are you sure you say this as a level headed solider?" Levi is about to nod, when,

"Or as a man trying to prove he's not running from his past?"

* * *

**-Information open for disclosure to the general public-**

Recent finds have uncovered a fabled experiment called "Operation Eden." The document recorded an experiment of at least over 100 successful test subjects and over 400 failures. The experiment had been passed between a total of 5 doctors before Grisha Yeager. Not much else is known, since the document is written in 6 different codes and faded with time. Investigation was called for after a 2 year long heavy debate.

* * *

(Mikasa's p.o.v., 2 years AF)

"Barrel~" a voice chimed.

She doesn't grant the call with a response. "I'm beginning to assume that whenever you appear something happens."

Luc brushes his shoulder to hers. "You aren't wrong in that assumption." His pale gaze focuses on her face. "Something always happens when I'm around. But hey," he shrugs. "At least it's never boring."

She blinks.

He's right. The first time was when she was about to be…she didn't know what to call it. And that time he had helped her, as he claimed, by bringing Eren. The second time was before the fall, before the end, before her life was flipped over and wrung out like a wet bed sheet.

"…You confuse me." She murmurs from her scarf. "I don't know if…"

"If?"

"That when we talk, you mark the beginning of something good, or something bad." He laughs. "You won't believe how many times someone has told me that, barrel." He reaches over and ruffles Mikasa's hair. "Maybe this time you can guess. Is something good or bad about to happen?"

She swats his hand away with a simple look. The look fades to a thoughtful glance as she thinks about his question. "…Maybe this time you mark the beginning of something good, Luc."

He smiles at her. 'That's the first time someone's told me that."

* * *

_In my second life, there was so many things I cared for and loved. So many things I learned to cherish and preserve. Those I met taught me everything I had missed- emotions such as love and loneliness, hatred and kindness, cruelty, poverty, hunger, wealth, completion, happiness, companionship, family, devotion, gratitude, pain, heart ache, and adventure. They taught me how to smile. Taught me how to feel._

_And yet, when the object of my devotion from my previous life died in my arms, the lessons stopped, remaining in my head but no longer affecting my frail heart, the warmth and light were gone from the words. The lessons no longer mattered. Nothing mattered anymore._

_Nothing_

_Mattered_

_Anymore._

* * *

(3 AF)

"You guys did great today," Lyn congratulates them as she pours a trainee some rations.

It had been a long day of training. Frist it was carrying supplies over the obstacle course, then it was trust falls of a face of a cliff, then it was standing in the hot sun for 5 hours because so many almost failed. They all were glad when supper was called and they were whisked to their camps, gathering around different fires. Eren was glad that everyone he knew in his squad was gathers around his fire, and that Lyn was cooking for them.

"No one fainted, not even Christa." Ymir wraps an arm around said girl as she blushes. Ymir grins widely. "Look how much she's grown!" Ymir boasts. Christa hides her face in her hands, embarrassed by her friend.

Several of the others laugh, Lyn included. But Eren catches something in the corner of his eye. He looks over at Lyn's shoulder.

"Hey Lyn, Where'd you get that?" he points at her exposed shoulder. She glances down to look at what he's pointing at. She had removed her military jacket and her hoodie earlier since she was cooking around fire and the day had been so hot. Most were surprised to learn she wore only a tank-top under her jacket. But Eren isn't really focusing on that.

What he is pointing at is a brand on her shoulder, in the shape of a 5 point-star with a circle around it. The brand had healed long ago, Eren can tell, from the repaired flesh around the edges of the star. As he observes it, Lyn looks up at him. "It's nothing, Eren. I even remember where I got it."

"You don't remember when someone laid hot iron on your skin?" Jean asks. What kind of life are you leading?"

She throws the ladle at his head. "I'm old. You forget things." Jean rubs his head while Marco tries to sooth his angry mutterings. Reiner smacks him on the back of his head. "Ow! What the hell, Reiner?!" Jean shouts, rubbing the back of his head. Marco just shakes his head at him. Eren laughs at him. Jean throws his spoon at his head, missing and hitting Mikasa instead.

She3 merely glares at the two before returning to her food.

"But seriously, Lyn," Armin asks as the group settles down. Sasha remains fixated on her food, but Reiner, Berholdt, Connie, Jean, Marco, Annie, Christa, Ymir, Eren, and Mikasa look at the older girl as she stirs her ladle through the large cauldron. "Where did you get that?" he stares at the brand, trying to remember if he's seen it before.

The older girl is silent for a long while, long enough that few question if she'll answer the question. Finally she stops stirring. She knocks the handle of the ladle on the edge of the pot. "I don't really remember." She says, sending a small smile to Armin. "It was so long ago…" her voice trails off.

"Why'd you ask, Armin?" Jean calls from his spot around the fire.

"..You know how we're refugees?" Armin says. "When we were in the labor camps, we were each given a necklace with a number. "

"'This is you new name,' they said." Eren imitates a soldier. "'Remember it or you won't get rations.' " He nods to Armin. "He still has them. Mine was number 325."

"Mine was 343." Armin says.

The ones gathered around the fire are entranced by their tale, their mouths hanging slightly open. Armin reaches into his pocket and hands them to the person next to him, motioning them to pass it around. They observe its circular shape, its smooths surface, the fading shine of metal, and the numbers still clear as day. Fingers brush over etched lines that Armin, Mikasa, and Eren had once, long ago.

They didn't know the hunger that had come with those fingers. They didn't know how often Armin bit into the metal at night, wishing for food, how often Eren wept as he looked at it, crying silently and pitifully for his mother. How often Mikasa stared at it as she farmed. It was their identity. The only thing they could strive to. The only thing left for them to live for, besides a childish dream and taste for revenge. It was their worldly possession.

They would never know. But the trio would.

"One day a man was wandering within our camp. 'Come here,' he said. 'Come.'" Armin says quietly as the necklaces are handed back to him. He kept them so one day he could look back and see how much he had grown. How he earned his name back. He was no longer 343. He was Armin Arlelt. "' Would you like to see the true scars of human suffering and pain?' the old man said. He lifted up his cloak, and he was skin and bones..." Armin lowered his gaze, staring into the fire as he remembered that day. "Like God had created a skeleton and only placed skin on him as an afterthought."

Shivers ran through the others.

"And there, on the tip of his hip, was a brand burned into his skin. It was two 'P's designed back to back. 'My identity.' The old man said. 'You see, I am no longer Lokil, but instead PavilP, worker for the Pavli ranch.' The man let his clothes fall back and stumbled away. We never saw him again." Armin finished his tale.

"But we did see more of those kinds of people. We once ran into a boy who had a sunflower brand burned onto his cheek." Eren blinks slowly. "He was so happy…"

Silence fills the air. Jean looks away from the trio. Connie doesn't ask questions, thankfully, and Reiner is filled with motherly feelings, wanting to protect them from such a fate. Annie stares at Lyn with a new emotion filling her cold blue eyes.

"It's all in the past now." Mikasa says finally, as if that would make them feel better.

* * *

**-Information open for disclosure to the general public-**

Labor camps were common beyond Wall Rose, and after the fall, became quite normal due to the refugees. Wall Maria had a total of 46 labor camps in its districts. Undesirables such as mentally ill, sick, diseased, poor, orphaned, etc., were sent to the labor camps. Each Labor camp had its own insignia and brand that was given to all its occupants.

Strangely, most of the workers within the camps originated from behind Wall Sina.

* * *

(8 months AF)

"Levi.." Irwin continues, as if he hadn't said that question. "How do you know Grisha Yeager?"

Feeling like he was being interrogated, Levi answers honestly. "My home was in Shiganshina. My mother was a midwife, and I happened to tag along on all of her jobs. I met Eren when he was a babe, and we grew up together." He watches as Lyn tries to get Hanji to stay till so she can braid a flower into her hair. But the brunet refuses and tries to hop after another frog. Irwin chuckles from beside him.

"So you were a family friend." Irwin says, glancing at him. Levi doesn't answer.

Hanji manages to make Lyn trip into the water. The burnet laughs at the pouting mess, pointing her finger at her. But Lyn quickly grabs her arm and pulls her in with her. Now Lyn is the one who snickers, pulling a lilapad off of Hanji's head.

"Where are we headed to now?" Levi asks.

"We headed to the Heiss district, than to Shiganshina after. Someone upstairs wants us to investigate something there."

Levi hums.

"We're going to have to walk instead of run. We made good time yesterday, but today we have to be careful." Irwin pats his horse's side gently. Sylph blows a raspberry, chewing softly on Irwin's boot. "We might be a small party, but we'll still call attention if we aren't careful."

Hanji splashes Lyn, almost making her choke. Her hair shines in the moonlight, free of its hairband. Lyn comes back up and coughs. Hanji floats over to apologize only to be dunked under the water. She struggles, but Lyn lets her up immediately and laughs. They settle down, Hanji allowing Lyn to wash her hair.

Levi sighs, flicking his gaze up to the stars. The Lyn's murmuring voce and Hanji's laughter touches him in ways he hasn't felt in months, and he realizes what he's feeling only now;

Friendship.

* * *

**I had an older sister. She fell in love with a boy from a neighboring village, and would constantly show me letters he wrote to her and made me promise to not tell daddy. She said daddy wouldn't understand, that he would forbid them from writing to each other. **

**She use to say she would run away next winter, before the snow falls. Daddy wouldn't be able to track her throw the snow and it would cover her scent form the search dogs. I never asked if I could come with her. And she never invited me. She would only stare at the door longingly, waiting for her chance. **

**I missed her when she finally did get her chance. I missed her running towards my windowsill and showing me her letters with glee, eyes filled with stars. She was the one who told me that if you counted the white flecks on your finger nails that was how many boys were thinking of you and picking the petals off of flowers told you if the boy liked you or not. I loved my sister a lot. I was glad for her when she left, but sad, too. **

**But not even 2 years later, she came back. In the middle of the night, a knock came on the door and my father replied, not expecting the small, weeping, shaking body in front of him. Immediately he wrapped her up in his arms and patted her softly. **

**Now it was she who sat at the windowsill, smoking daddy's pipe and watching as boys walked by her and said stupid things. Things like I'm in love with you or who placed those stars into your eyes? Or who placed those black cherries into your eyes, and may I eat them please? **

**She simply looked at them without blinking. **

**Sometimes, at night, when I stay up late sitting at my windowsill, I can see her in the yard, dancing in the moonlight. My sister was well known for being the best dancer in the village. **

**My sister, under the moonbeams, **

**Dancing to a song only she knew, **

**Singing to it quietly. **

**She probably is singing the same song somewhere, I'm sure, **

**Waiting for the snow to melt, **

**A star to fall, **

**For someone to enter her life again. **

* * *

(8 Month's AF)

Hanji sighs as she settles her head on Lyn's lap, the other girls' fingers running softly through her hair. Levi rested his head on her left shoulder, his cheek pressed against her brand mark. Lyn hums a tune for the both of them.

Irwin watches from across the fire. His eyes flicker form face to face, trying to gauge their personalities. Lyn seemed like the elder sister, dotting on her younger siblings. Levi acted like the emotionless middle sibling, but inside was full of affection and care for the both of them. Hanji was like the youngest sister, even if she was the same height as Lyn. Her childish mind and curiosity got the best of her, sometimes.

They were like this...weird, dysfunctional family that somehow clicked and supported one another. Irwin couldn't understand how they could've met, how they could function as one being like this.

"Hanji grew up in Wall Maria, too, you know." Lyn speaks. Irwin is jolted from his thoughts.

"What?" he asks.

"She grew up in a dark family that didn't care for her at all. Her sister was the only one would acknowledge her presence, and even then it was only to talk about boys. " Lyn brushes a strand of hair out of Hanji's eyes before continuing. Irwin sees no reason to stop her.

"Her father was abusive, wanting a son and instead receiving two daughters. Angers, he took his anger out of Hanji, seeing her as the one who should've been a boy. One time, for talking out of hand, he…" she clenched and unclenched her fist, her eyes turning dark. The fire no longer reflected in her eyes. "He placed a hot iron on her tongue and burned her tasted buds into oblivion. She can't taste foods anymore."

Irwin watches the girl's body, noting her shaking hands. "Another time, when she accidently bumped her hand on a vase and it broke, he burned her finger tips and the bottom of her feet. She doesn't know what it's like to touch things. And worse, because she was so young, she was traumatized. She doesn't feel anything physically." Lyn's eyes lowered pitifully.

"She's never known what snow feels like. She doesn't know what a shock feels like when you rub your feet on a carpet, she doesn't know how soft silk is, how cool water feels, how hot the sun is in the summer, how the first droplets of rain feel on your skin, what cakes and sweets taste like, how gross sour feels, how spicy something is, if its poisonous, anything." A tear fell from Lyn's eye. "She doesn't experience anything physically.

"I started to make a list of everything she would ever want to try if she can successfully fix her taste buds. The scars of her past remain, but…that doesn't mean she can't change." Hani moans in her sleep and shifts closer, nudging Lyn's hand. The girl smiles, sliding her fingers through her hair. "She made a promise to me, long ago, that someday she'd fix it so she can taste the food I make. She was jealous because everyone told her my cooking was amazing and she wanted a taste. Poor girl…everything probably tastes bland…" Lyn murmurs.

She returns to humming, her story done. Irwin blinks wide eyes as he looks at Hanji again with new eyes.

Hanji, sweet Hanji, you just wanted to experience everything life had to offer…

* * *

**Everyone had different hair in the village. Daddy had hair that fell straight down like a waterfall no matter what he did. Mommy had electric hair that fuzzed up and grew in different directions. Sometimes I'd giggle when I touched her hair and it gave me shock. My sister's hair was no different. **

**When I was sold into the prostitution house, lots and lots of people had hair like Mommy's. Others had hair like daddy's, and some didn't have hair at all. I liked to play with people's hair, tying and braiding them in beautiful ways. I was 5 years old. **

**But no hair could compare to Lyn's. Her golden bangs that shone in the sunlight, the dark brown hair that looked almost pitch black in comparison to her bangs. It turned curly when it was wet, tangled easily and was so fun to mess with. And it smelled like young roses in full bloom, fresh and sweet. **

**That was the scent she put to my nose as she hugged me under the covers, holding me close and telling me that I was safe, the warm smell of cookies after you baked them filling the air as she makes room for me on the bed, and me sleeping near her, rain pouring on the tin roof of the prostitution house and the older women snoring. **

**The rain, the cookies, the warmth, **

**and Lyn's hair that smelled like roses**

**in full bloom. **

* * *

_**A/N: Thank you for your reading *bows***_


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/n: song used in this chapter:**_

_**-Bios Delta from Guilty Crown (which may or may not be a character theme song for a character in this specific chapter)**_

_**Speaking of, I've been thinking of a character song for Lyn. Since I have no musical talent (I scare my dogs with my singing) I've been thinking of two songs- "Pledge" from Fragile Dream ~ Farwell Ruins of the Moon, or Bios Delta ( the English cover by AmaLee). Both are on Youtube, so check 'em out and tell me what you think. **_

* * *

(Irwin's p.o.v., 8 months AF)

Whenever he looked up at the sky, he had to think back to those days. He had to think back to her.

His first love, who died long ago.

He found that counting and listing the things he knew or remembered about her helped. (A game, of sorts, to chase away the guilt. A motion to go through. A reason to live.) She had long black hair that fell to her chest in curls and waves. She hated brushing it, so most mornings she'd run a quick hand through it and braid the thin strands in a loose braid.

She woke up with a dawn. He knew that from the mornings after spending the night at her home. (They shared a bed in her room; her tiny double bed that she claimed was a queen mattress.) He'd watch her in those mornings. The dawn shining from her window and onto her bed, casting her body in this heavenly glow. (Oh, how romantic his young mind had been.)

His eyes would take in her silhouette as she braided her hair. Her fingers jumping like a violinist's and moving like blades of grass swaying in the wind. She'd hum to herself as she sat on the edge of the bed. Some mornings she knew he was awake. She would turn and smile at him, cheerily wishing him a "good morning." Most times she didn't know. And Irwin didn't want to ruin the peaceful image, so he kept quiet, blushing slightly as her beauty. (As they grew older he began to memorize her features, thinking each time he'd never see her like this again. He had thought back then that if he died this was the last thing he wanted to see.)

She was always so happy, and sort of simple-minded. But she was stubborn like a bull; she never gave in or gave up. Once you gave her something she never let it go. Once she saw something she wanted she chased it to oblivion.(Whatever it was, she chased and kept it, regardless of the costs, regardless if she was hurt in the end.)

But that was the reason Irwin had fallen in love with her.

And that was the reason she died.

(And again, he repeats, he keeps a list. On the very top of it was her smile. Sweet and pure, her pink lips opening in a curvy smile as she flashed her white teeth. The second thing was her eyes. They had been green, clouded and blurry, that he loved to stare into.)

The list goes on and on, but today he woke up and started with the 40s, which focused on her quirks. As he silently gathered his things, he thought about how much she hated grocery shopping. She bought everything in bulk then waited 6 months before bowing down to pressure and buying fresh. (She didn't mind going out to buy food. It's was just everything else she hated about shopping because Irwin made long lists and her head would get dizzy from the words-)

He shook his head. His own head getting dizzy. Focus, Irwin, Focus. What was next?

She liked to spend hours in her room painting her toenails with some sort of blue dye or paste. A piece of sky on my feet, she liked to say with a smile. (When he teased her she threatened to paint his toes and he shut up immediately. But when she fell asleep he would pick up her feet and observe her handiwork. Sometimes he pressed his lips to each little toe, silently praising it, praising her.)

Sylph bobs his head up and down in acknowledgement as Irwin approaches. He nudges his chest roughly before releasing his breath in Irwin's face, greeting him in his horse way. Irwin pats his nose softly before heading to the small pond to wash.

He spends a few minutes rubbing the cold water on his face before cupping his hands in the water and rubbing his neck. He sighs audibly. Sylph had clipped-clopped after him to drink some water, and he snorts at his riders' sigh. _Whatcha do that for?_ His horse seems to say.

Irwin smiles at himself for thinking his horse could talk. "It's nothing. I'm just exhausted from long nights of reports and now this." He pats his horse's side. Sylph shakes his head and neck before returning to drinking (obviously thinking he's gone crazy.).

He heard rustling and turned to see that Levi had returned from his watch. His eyes didn't even look tired, no tell-tale dark circles underneath his long lashes. Irwin stares at him in confusion.

"If you keep staring at me like that I'll end up punching you so hard you can't shit for a week." Levi growls. Irwin raises his hands in defeat and looks away. He hears Levi's foot falls in the grass as he moves towards the camp.

"Oh, yeah," Irwin turns again at Levi's call. "I forgot to ask this earlier, but isn't someone missing you? I mean, you're the captain of the survey corps. Shouldn't you still be sitting on a desk somewhere or going on an expedition, fucking up someone's life?" Irwin's eyebrows rise at the question.

"You're right, I should." He deadpans. "But I'm having so much more fun messing with yours." Levi scoffs before pivoting on his heel and walking away. "If we're leaving soon, then you've got to wake up Lyn." He calls over his shoulder. "No fucking way am I messing with that shit."

Irwin briefly wonders how Levi got away with his profanity, before shrugging and finishing up his wash. He pats his horse one last time before heading back to an already dissembling camp. Levi somehow managed to wake up Hanji without making too much noise and they were taking down the tent in a hurried manner. He dances out of their way before heading for Lyn.

She was leaning against a tree, her sleeping bag falling off of the upper half of her body and covering her legs. Hanji's sleeping bag rested beside her. The bag looked like a mess of plastic green rain cover and warm blankets.

Lyn wore her dark grey hoodie loosely with one sleeve up and one down, her head thrown back and jaw slack. As Irwin stepped closer he noticed something white around her neck. Brow furrowed, he kneels beside her to get a better look.

It was a white hollow rock, circular and spiraling on its attached leather sting. On first look it looked like beautiful craftsmanship . Irwin was about to file away his question of where she had got it when he remembered something. No, it can't be…he squinted at it. No way. He had to be wrong.

There was no way that was a _seashell. _

He cursed as he realized it was true. Where the hell had Lyn gotten a _seashell_? Military police confiscated anything from beyond the walls years ago. _Books_ were one thing, but _seashells_?

He reaches a hand out to touch it when a blur passes his vision and a hand holds his wrist in a tight hold. He glances from the seashell to blazing cerulean blue eyes. He blinks, and Lyn blinks back at him, eyes burning with blue flame.

* * *

_Once upon a time, there were 2 angels, 2 twins. One was the angel of Death and Dawn, and it was said that each morning the sun rose just for the angel. The angel was tasked with painting the most beautiful pictures in the sky, and the sun was their main subject. The two got along like best friends, the sun shining warmly and the angel laughing joyously each morning. It was also said that the angel loved mortal races, and wept over each soul they led to death._

_As a final parting gift, the angel painted the regret-filled souls in the dawn, letting them see the faces of their loved ones waking up one last time before embarking on the journey into the next world. Hence why man seeks the dawn each day, for they see the souls of all those who died one last time, one last second, before leaving this world, forever._

_Mankind was thankful to this angel for doing this, and when someone died they wept, yes, but they did not mourn. For they knew that the Angel of Death and Dawn was watching over their beloved one, and wept with them._

_The other was the angel of the Moon, and unlike their twin they hated humans, for they held their twins affections. The angel welcomed the dark night, waxing and waning the moon so as to give humans false, fleeting hope. They delighted in the demons man created with their minds, pleasured in the screams from gory stories told within the night, and found the highest gratification in the suffering of man. The angel sought to encase the world in total darkness forever, and sent constant winds to blow out man-made fires, rain to wash them out, and snow to entrap men in the cold. The angel delighted in one's death._

_However, since their twin adored mortals so much, and the Angel of the Moon could not bear to see their twin cry, relented. Each night eventually gave way to the sun. Man suffered to the point of death each night, but was reborn with each new dawn they saw._

_The Angel of the Moon withdrew their crusade of shadows and death to let the Angel of Death and Dawn shine. Balance remained absolute and the laws went unchanged. The Angel of Death and Dawn painted the many sunrises that Man sought, and the Angel of the Moon continued to seek the end of all mortals. The eternal cycle was never broken._

_There were some nights that the Angel of the Moon dedicated to their twin. On rare nights where no mortal eye could see the angel would stand on the surface of a lake. They directed the moon beans to glitter and gleam off of the lake and the nearby trees, making that one area shine beautifully. And as the stars winked from above, the angel began to dance, drawing picture after picture in the rippling water of dedication and love and loyalty to their twin._

_In the dawn, the Angel of Death and Dawn would draw figures dedicated to their twin; hearts and horses, flowers and fish, everything. And the Angel of the Moon would smile, and on the nights following those days the shadows were kinder, the night sky more beautiful._

_In that same night sky, the stars rejoiced in the presence of the Angel of the Moon. Their relationship was one of master and pet; the angel praising and petting them each in turn and the stars spinning and swirling in delight, just for the angel. There was one star, however, that shone brighter and larger than the rest. The Angel of the Moon and that star were often seen together in the night sky._

_It was said that when humanity was facing extinction, the Angel of Death and Dawn pitied them and cast aside their wings to fall to the earth. The angel's twin followed, and the stars wept and fell with them, and the sun lost some of its warm glow. And that one star, the one always beside the Angel of the Moon, shriveled up and grew cold, its' light disappearing. Some say it died in devastation._

_And from that point on, the dawn ceased to shine as beautifully as it did before, the sun not so welcoming to bring light for the next day. On the day the sun learned of the angel's decision, he unleashed his wrath upon the seas, boiling parts of it into a dead sea of sand and dust. He could not bring himself to harm his angel's beloved humans. But some days when the sun was glaringly bright and hot, it is said that he was extracting revenge upon the mortal race for having taken away his beloved friend._

_The nights, however, turned peaceful and cool. Gone were man's fears of it. In fact, poets wrote songs of it, complementing its dark beauty and relishing in its mystery. Humanity began to yearn for the blissful night, where they may gather around fires and talk of stories and legends._

_But in the night sky, stars fell to the earth, and man turned it into a romantic idea; one of wishing and dreaming on a falling star. But those falling stars were mourning, falling to earth in hopes to be reunited with their beloved angel. To them, the fallen angel was a mother, a father, a friend, and they sought to be joined again. When the two angels fell, thousands upon thousands of stars fell with them, so much so that God had to intervene and hold the few thousand left back. He tied them to their places in the night sky forever, forcing them to watch over their beloved angel in silence and longing._

_And so it has been, for as long as man has walked the earth, that the stars and the dawn yearned for their angels again, jealous of humanity for their ignorance over their gift. _

_They did not hate humans for a decision the angels made. _

_But they were angry at them for being so weak and pitiful._

_Each day, the dawn created itself to be just as beautiful as the Angel of Death and Dawn has once long ago made them, and the moon waxed and waned just as the Angel of the Moon did long ago. The stars twinkled and shone just for their beloved angel, and the clouds wept over human death just as their angel had done._

_And with time, humans forgot of such things. But those that knew of the twin angels remained the same, mourning and longing and yearning to be reunited again, once more._

* * *

_**Chapter 9, episode 3: (Have Faith)**_

_A Dim Light in the Darkness of Despair- __**the Wait, part 3**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

"_A free bird leaps_

_On the back of the wind_

_And floats downstream_

_Till the current ends_

_And dips his wing_

_In the orange rays_

_And dares to claim the sky." _

_Maya Angelou; Poem: I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings_

_._

_._

_._

_._

(Annie's p.o.v., 3 years AF)

Her eyes.

Her deep brown eyes, the color of the expensive dark chocolate my father once brought home on a rare occasion. I loved them after that. The richness, the sour sweetness, the exquisite taste of pure chocolate made my eye bulge. My tongue yearned for more after we finished the box. But Papa couldn't get anymore. He said chocolate was to be treasured, therefore eaten on rare, celebratory occasions.

"What are we celebrating, then?" I had asked, sitting on his lap. He patted my back fondly. "The beginning of something new." He said. Unaware 6 months later my life would "begin," and he wouldn't be a part of it.

Her eyes sometimes flashed a deep red in the right light. Long lashes fluttered around her wide almond shaped eyes like butterfly wings. And she was far too tall; I couldn't help it if Eren was 170 cm, but she was _girl_. Although, I think then, there was Ymir. But she didn't count since she was a titan shifter- or, an Adam as we call it. And I can confirm it since I get that feeling from her. A feeling of authority, of leadership. Something to fall back on.

I scowl at Lyn whenever she has her back to me. It was unfair that she got to be tall and have pretty eyes the color of my favorite food. Unfair that she was the epitome of what I didn't have in my life; stability, strength, comfort, and personality. It was alright if _she_ made a mistake or slipped up, because she was human- or, at least, that was what I was pinning her down as since Luc never told me what she was when I asked and she didn't feel like a titan-shifter. But she had an aura of other-worldliness. Maybe she knew about Lucius's plan and was involved?

Either way, she was unfair. So unfair. I glare at her from where I stood, ready for our match to begin. Our training today was focused on mob control and the like. And since mobs included crazed citizens, we get to learn how to knock their lights out.

Joy.

But I wasn't really thinking about that now. All I could think was that this was going to be another boring battle, another easy win for me. I had already sized Lyn up to be an ordinary fighter. She had the toned muscles and refined muscles, and I'm sure she had the skills to back it up. But there was no way she was even remotely close to my level. And from the way her friends had all bet on me winning the match, I'm guessing even they knew that.

I applauded myself in finally finding something I'm absolutely sure that she has no idea how to be perfect at. Or, at least, mess up yet somehow make it turn out perfectly in the end.

But something in her eyes…didn't look right. She wasn't really intent of the battle just like I was. But her eyes weren't filled with boredom like I'm sure mine was. They were filled with curiosity. And I can swear stars were glittering deep within- oh, somebody stop me, I whine in my head. I trusted my training in keeping a stern expression so I can allow my thoughts to wander.

Lucius had said my mission was not only to help in the destruction of the walls, but to get someone named Eren Yeager. His father was apparently a part of what made me into a titan-shifter, and some sort of weird shit was going on that led to Lucius wanting me to nab the kid. But not at just anytime. Soon. When he gave the signal.

I had figured out already that Lucius thought he was an Adam, but that was as far as I could get. I don't know _why_ Lucius needed an Adam if he had an army, and not only that, but a _titan_ army. Of course, most of them were Eves, but there were enough mates for an endless supply of children, right?

So why Eren?

I mentally shake my head as I focus again on the battle. The commander was instructing the scenario we were apparently in. Lyn was, since she was the older, the soldier, and I was the apparent crazed citizen in a mob. Lyn had already disarmed me of my pitch fork and torch so I was forced to fight her with my hands. "Remember, we are soldiers; we serve the people first and foremost." The commander states as he gives each face the stink eye. "We have no intention of killing them or hurting them. The point of this exercise is to learn how to stop your attacker without hurting them or the others around them. Is that clear."

"Sir, yes Sir!" was the (very) loud response. My head throbs painfully in response. The commander nods.

"Now, with that in mind, let us begin." He raises his hand. "Take your stances." I put up my fists and lean back on my hips in my own personal stance. Lyn just remains standing relaxed. My eye twitches a little from her nonchalant attitude (does she even understand the point of this thing?) but I stay focused. What did it matter the way she stood? I was going to beat her anyway. (Not being cocky; just true.)

As soon as the commander shouts begin, I swing with my fist. Despite my confidence, it's still a testing punch. Maybe she knew a little more than I gave her credit for?

It appears I was correct in my assumption, because just as soon as my punch comes near her she pivots on her foot and doges it. But before I can shift back she grabs it, pulling me forward. And I notice her movements; the circling arm, the vine like wrap coming around my neck. She was about to place me in a headlock. Before she can get a good hold, though, I kick her in the knee and do as she had only different; I pull her arm over my head and the rest of her body with it.

But somehow she flips her body in mid-air and lands dancing on her feet. She bounces a few times before moving in with a punch of her own. There's no testing, no question in her punch. She aims for my head and I move to block it. I cross my arms over my face-

Only to get socked in the stomach. Damn. She really did know how to fight. I dart away quickly. I resume my original stance a little wobbly because of the force of the punch. But I breathe slowly and let the pain recedes, ignoring it to focus on the fight. No, it's a battle, now; it ceased to be an exercise the moment it started, I realize.

She moves again, stepping exactly where I want her to be. I kick out my leg and aim for her chest. She blocks it easily, though I know she doesn't expect the next kick because it hits her shoulder. She moves with the momentum, making use of the force of my kick and lightening the pain on her shoulder. I let out a sigh of relief of the thought of holding her off for a bit so I can think of my next attack.

But she moves again like lightning; fast and fleeting and painful. She grabs my leg that I rest my weight on and presses into my-dammit, she knew about pressure points?! I grit my teeth and switch legs, kicking her away before I lose the feeling in my leg. She relents, and I say relents because I'm sure she can easily dart out of the path of my leg and get to the other one.

But instead she moves. She keeps out of range of my fists and my good leg. As I stare at her, she _finally _gets into boxing position-wait a second; she hadn't even been fighting me serious the entire time?!

That pisses me off. In ways I don't understand.

And then I have to curse myself because I should've been thinking about my next move, my next plan, and it was too late now because here she was again, staring at me with her dark chocolate eyes as she presses pressure points in my arms and making my fists go limp. Knowing it was a failed attempt, I still try to punch her with my fists that were slowly losing their feelings. Dammit, how could've I let her in so close?!

She, once again, backs away. I take quick note of my situation.

My arms are limb at my sides, I'm leaning on my leg with no feeling, and she's over there with all the power.

I bite my tongue. I hate when someone else has all the power in a battle.

So when she comes near again, I don't stand still. I smack our foreheads together with my head and kick her back with my good leg. I'm not sure how this is humanly possible, but I'm glad I'm not human. Otherwise I'd lost the battle a while ago. But as a titan-shifter, I can put up more of a fight.

I'm able to keep her at bay for a long time, but even with my titan powers, even I have limits, and I have to admit I'm exhausted. She finally gets in close enough to pin me down and lock my hands behind my back, sitting down on the section above my waist.

As the commander goes on to teach the rest of the lesson, I hit my head softly on the ground.

Unfair.

* * *

**-Information open for disclosure to the general public-**

Military horses are trained from birth to accept only one rider their entire lives. If the rider dies, their horse is considered useless for expeditions and is immediately omitted to military breeding farms. However, the horse in question can return on expeditions if said horse is compatible with another rider.

* * *

(Irwin's p.o.v., 8 months AF)

He blinks again, closing his eyes for the brief darkness before opening them. And Lyn's eyes are as brown as always; long lashes fluttering up at him in confusion. "Sir?" she asks in a questioning voice.

Had he imagined the blue gaze?

He shakes his head furiously. "Sorry, Lyn. My mind must be playing trick on me." She lets go of his wrist once she realizes her hold on it. "Ah! Sorry, sir." She apologizes. But he shakes his head at her again. "It's fine, Lyn. I just wanted to tell you that it's time to move." He motions to the camp site.

She rises. "I'm going to go wash first 'cause I stink." She says, grabbing what she needed.

From his place beside her, Irwin could see Levi scrunch his nose in disgust. "I can smell your shit from over here." He stated. "You better wash really good before you help us out, or your stuck with putting everything away because there's no way I'm helping you out like that."

She sticks her tongue out at him before heading to the pond.

(All the while during their exchange Irwin wonders if he really had imagined the blue flame in Lyn's eyes.)

* * *

**-Information open for disclosure-**

The only known weakness humans know of titans are the backs of their necks. Research was conducted, but due to severity of the situation soldiers backed out. A titans' anatomy is unknown to Humanity.

* * *

(Lyn's p.o.v., 1 month BF)

"So…uh…" _well, it's not like we're getting any younger, _she thinks as she rubs the back of her head nervously. _Why am I so nervous?_

"Uh…happy birthday, Mama. 42, huh? Well, I guess my 'Old Lady' jokes can be used now." She chuckles. "I brought you some flowers. Forget-me-not's, just as you liked them. I picked them from the meadow this morning." She holds out a bouquet of blue flowers from behind her back. "Remember? You used to braid them into my hair, Mama."

Lyn looks down to her clothes. "A-ah. Sorry. I just graduated from my military training core and raced over here to give them to you, so…" She gestures to the military outfit. "But at least I look dashing, right?" she jokes. She chuckles again, nervous. "A-and…I'm sorry that I'm late. The commander insisted on a long speech instead of just congratulating us. D-don't get me wrong," she adds after a few moments of silence. "I-I wanted to get dressed up for you, but…" she bites her lip, then sighs.

Falling down to her knees, she places the bouquet before the grave marker. Reaching into her back pocket, she pulls out a sketch of a young girl with dark hair and equally dark eyes. The girl holds a blue flower in her hair and a small collection of the same flower in her hand.

"…It's been a while…Mama." Lyn smiles. "I'm back, Joanna." She sits down and crosses her legs in front of her. "Sorry I couldn't come earlier. I tried, okay! But with the classes and the plan…" she trails off. Cold silence fills the air. "I know, it's no excuse for ignoring you. I promise to make it up to you. I will. I come back every year and clean your grave." In the corner of her eye she sees the other grave.

"Ah, Auntie, I didn't forget about you. There's some lavender in the bouquet for you. And I'll clean your grave, too." She promises. she pulls out another sketch and places it on her grave.

A breeze blows by, ruffling her blonde bangs.

"Mama, calm down. I know you don't like my hair, but it can't be helped." Lyn protests teasingly. A harder breeze pushes her back. "Mama!" Lyn exclaims. "Alright, Alright! I'm sorry. But it really can't be helped."

The breeze settles down, apparently taking her word for it.

Lyn sits in silence as she observes the two graves. On her mama's grave, the words, "Here lies Joanna Esaki, beloved daughter and friend." Her eyes linger on her name before reading the quote on the grave,

"_**It seemed God let thee flutter from his gentle grasp:**_

_**Then fearful he had let thee win**_

_**Too far beyond him to be gathered in,**_

_**Snatched thee, o'er eager, with ungentle grasp."**_

And on the other grave, the words "Here lies Marisa Korsun, beloved daughter, friend, mother, and treasured wife." Her quote was different;

"_**A free bird leaps**_

_**On the back of the wind**_

_**And floats downstream**_

_**Till the current ends**_

_**And dips his wing**_

_**In the orange rays**_

_**And dares to claim the sky."**_

Lyn pulls her knees up to her chest. Quietly, she begins to sing.

"_The city that we had called home is now in ruins, _

_And I've waited all this time for you, my dear…" _She smiles fondly. "Remember how you used to sing that to me, Mama? When I was having nightmares and couldn't fall asleep?" the wind blows gently through her hair, like fingers combing through it. Lyn hums. "I sing someone to sleep now. He's like a little brother to me. He acts like he knows everything but inside he's so torn and wrecked. I feel so guilty, because it's my fault he's like that." She rests her head on her knees.

"But…I wanted to see you and Auntie again so much…and I hate having my fate written out for me. I had to lie, Mama, I had to, and now…" a tear falls from her eye. "He'll never forgive me once he learns, will he? The boy who's like my little brother…will never be happy if I'm around." The wind wraps around Lyn's shoulders gently. "But I had to fight my fate, if it meant I could be with you again…you, and auntie, and the stupid weirdo who lived a few miles away, and Jacqueline and Ari and everyone else…" she trails off again.

"I want to see you all again. It hurts…being the last one left. You know how I have separation anxiety disorder. Everyone else is with you, and I'm…so lonely…even if I have Levi and Hanji and Petra…it's so lonely…" she shivers.

"W-will you sing me the song, just like back then…?" she says in a small voice. The wind rushes around her shoulders and she smiles as she hears the words in her head.

_**[ Always ] **_

* * *

(Levi's p.o.v., 8 months AF)

"_The city that we had called home is now in ruins,_

_And I've waited all this time for you, my dear…" _Lyn sings quietly beside me as we ride, her voice faint and distant.

"_In my hands…a forget-me-not…"_ I look at her from the corner of my eyes before focusing on the road, my ears straining to hear her words.

"_Let my fire warm and burn my tears away,_

_Let my body finally fade a-way…_

_My story will live on in the earth, when_

_I have wrapped myself inside of its roots…"_

Her voice is so faint as she sings. I move Para closer so I can hear.

"_When the seasons change I'll awaken again._

_For an entire winter I'll be awaiting_

_Until the forget-me-not flower has bloomed again…_

_In here…"_ she reaches an absent hand to her chest.

"_I remember…" _she stretches the word "remember" in a slow beat, ending each note with a sort of bounce.

"_Do you remember? _

_Can you re-call the day when you met me?_

_I remember…_

_Do you remember me?_

_Say once more that you loved me…"_

* * *

**One time, when I was living in the prostitution house with Lyn, I found by accident a picture that had fallen from her backpack. I picked it up and looked at it since I wasn't sure what it was.**

**It was a sketch of an older girl with dark midnight hair that fell to her shoulders. She stood in a meadow littered with blue flowers that I recognized as forget-me-not. She was smiling at the person who was drawing her, the breeze lifting her sun dress. She held a few forget-me-not flowers in her hair, and a handful of the same flower in her other hand. The same hand was holding her dress down. A red sash tied around her waist fluttered in the wind.**

**Before I could study her more, a hand snatched the picture from me and I looked up to see Lyn's annoyed face. "Who said you could go through my things?" she said sternly. "a-ah, sorry!" I apologized. "But who is that?" I point at the picture.**

"**This? Oh, she's…" Lyn looked down at the picture with an incredibly fond look. "She was my best friend. I called her Mama because she was like a mother to me." Lyn stroked the corner of the page with a gentle hand before folding the paper and putting it away. "She was a good person." Lyn said quietly.**

"**Like you."**

**I blinked at Lyn. Good?**

**Lyn smiled. "I see her in you, Hanji. You almost exactly like her. But don't get offended," she added when I pouted. "I like you both differently, I promise. She's like a mother to me, and you…" she laughed and wrapped an arm around me. "You're like a little sister to me."**

**She poked my side and I giggled.**

* * *

(Levi's p.o.v., 8 months AF)

You can never have too much sky.

You could fall asleep and wake up drunk on sky, sky and wind, both keeping you safe when you're lonely or sad. Petra said as they left that there's too much sadness in his life, and not enough sky or wind.

Levi blinks up at the sky, watching the clouds run from one end to the other. That's always confused him. Were the clouds running from the east to the west, or west to east? North to south, or south to north? Thinking further on it made his head hurt. Plus, Para was misbehaving again, prancing on her feet in a manner Levi recognizes.

"Oh, no, you little shit. You are so not gonna start with me." He reins her head in. She snorts rebelliously at him but listens. Takara nudges Para's neck with her nose as praise for her chosen action. Para tosses her head flamboyantly as if she was saying "As if I'd do anything else!"

Joker nips her from behind.

Levi smirks; even Joker knew to call her on her bullshit.

Para gives him a little buck in retaliation before falling into an easy gait beside Takara. The larger horse nibbles on the crown of her head right in between her ears and Para sighs. Sylph up ahead swishes his tail back and forth to keep the flies off, and Joker whinnies to him from behind. Hanji pats him on the neck loudly. "I know, Joker, I know. Everyone likes to ignore us."

"Shh." Irwin hushes us. He holds up the sign for Titan.

Immediately Levi lowers his body into Para until his upper-half rests completely against her neck, his legs squeezing into the saddle. From there he maneuvers her to a nearby collection of thick trees. He hears the others do the same, the horse's movements turning quiet as they moved through the grass. Para turns strangely obedient; maybe she can sense the seriousness of the situation?

Either way, she's fine with being squashed in-between Joker and Sylph. Lyn keeps Takara in the front, silently volunteering to be the decoy in the case that we are found. (Titans naturally reach for the first thing that moves.) But there's no way he can allow her to be the decoy. No way is he letting her go into no-man's land. Levi hissed at her to get her attention. "Switch with me. Para's faster." He nudges Para forward. Lyn blinks at him before smiling and reaching over. "It'll be fine-" she tries to reassure him. But Levi smacks her out-stretched hand away. "Don't feed me bullshit. Just switch!" He whispers hurriedly at her as he catches the sounds of approaching thud and booms.

She shakes her head and refuses to move. "You've got to put trust in me, Levi. You can't fight everything on your own." Levi hisses at her but she continues. "Trust me," she pleads. "Have faith in me." Levi glares at her and opens his mouth to force her to switch when-

It's too late.

_Boom. _

_Boom._

_Boom. _

_Boom. _

They can hear the footfalls, feel them in their bodies. The horses keep still, trained to remain so. Levi stares at Takara before remembering-

_Takara's not a military horse. _

_Takara's not a military horse._

_Takara's not a military-_

"Lyn!" he shouts, but it's too late. Lyn smiles wistfully as Takara rears and bolts. "Trust me!" she calls over her shoulder. Takara takes off, and in her fear, heads straight for the titan.

_Oh god_

_Oh god_

_Oh god_

"Shit!" he grunts before kicking Para into a gallop. Irwin and Hanji follow after him. Levi tries to direct Para towards Takara but she doesn't listen and Hanji uses Joker to shoulder Para the other way, towards Heiss district, away from the titan, away from Lyn-

"Lyn!" Levi shouts. "Let me go! Let me go back! I have to save her!" he looks over his shoulder, but they're fading in the distance already, the titan chasing after Takara and Lyn looking over her shoulder in fear-

"No! " Irwin shouts. " She's as good as dead now! We have to keep moving!" He kicks Sylph into an all-out run, knowing Para would be interested in the chase. Her ears flicker forward in interest, but she maintains her speed. Joker pants harshly beside her.

_No! Please, let me go back! I can save her! Please! I don't want another person close to me die! _He thinks. He knows that this is what he agreed to. He knew. He knew it from the start. But now that they were here, out in field, about to die, he had to do something. Lyn couldn't die-

He pulls on the reins, making Par skid to a stop. Harshly he pulls her to turn around and go back.

"Levi!" Hanji calls, and he can hear Joker race after them. He ignores his captain and chases after the sound of thunder. He nudges Para in a signal to _run_.

She snorts. _Are you kidding? I was only jogging. _She seems to say before bolting at top speed.

_** [ Have faith in me ] **_

* * *

(Lyn's p.o.v., 10 years BF)

I bury my nose into Hanji's hair and breathe in her scent. She makes a noise, like a hum, though her nose, and nuzzles my neck in her sleep. I smile, and pull her closer.

I had found a part of my soul.

Now, don't believe me? Well, I can tell you- finding your soul doesn't mean you found your soul mate. Especially in my case. My soul had scattered into the four winds years ago, and it's taken me forever to find this one piece. And now that I had found it, I won't let it go, not like before. I tighten my arms around Hanji and she moans in her sleep.

Realizing I was hurting her, I release my tight hold to a loose embrace. She hums through her nose. Her body shifts so she can get comfortable again. I run my fingers through her hair and think.

The plan was on the right track. Everything I had done amounted to now, where the plan could actually start, where the gears could be set in motion. The careful planning form long ago had paid off; now, I could rest. I could relax now. I could enjoy the moment where I was reunited with my mother's soul.

Mind ye, Hanji's soul wasn't really my mother's soul. It was actually the soul of my best friend, the one who taught me how to live when my world came crashing down. I can see her in Hanji every day; in her smiles, her laughter, her emotions that run clear as day across her face, like the clouds in the sky above, chasing each other in each fleeting moment, one after the other in an eternal dance.

Hanji shifts in my arms again. I watch an emotion cross her face before whispering softly to her in my 5 year-old voice.

"I'll protect you this time, Hanji." I promise quietly. "This time, you all will be safe. We'll be able to smile and laugh together again, like long ago. Remember?"

Hanji hums through her nose again, and right then I realize that it's really cute. I rub my nose with hers before pulling the covers over both of us. "I promise." I whisper again.

Hanji hums, clearer now, and buries her face into my chest.

"I promise." I swear again, wrapping her in my arms and hold her close, close to my heart.

_** [ I promise ] **_

* * *

_**a/n: Thank you for your reading*Bows***_


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/n: so, I feel as though I should explain the dreams Eren had way back in that one long ass chapter. And Levi's dream. **_

_**You know Lyn said that 'men are all connected by their dreams'? That in a dream, one could (with the right teaching) can travel from dream to dream? Well, that's basically what Levi and Eren are doing- rather, it's what their bond is doing. Subconsciously at the time their bond sensed something –maybe it was Eren's mind being wiped and Levi reaching out to him again after so long-that made it think one of the others was dead. So, they each basically dreamed the other had died. **_

_**Well, Levi dreamed Eren died. Eren just dreamed about someone man he didn't remember at all dying. Yeah, that's just sad…**_

_**Hey, so you know I have a quote every chapter? Well, this one's from the game "Hello? Hell...o?" I'd put it where I usually do, but it'd just be confusing. **_

* * *

(Irwin's p.o.v., BF)

"_Seashells…" _He murmurs as he turns the page.

"_Seashells are the representatives of individuality and wealth, as well as healing. It's said that if you place seashells in the 4 corners of your home you'll have luck in love and your home will be protected. Some cultures even used them as currency, the conch shell being the rarest. The same cultures used it to trumpet their rulers' presence, or any outstanding citizen in their culture."_ He reads quietly to himself.

He's about to turn the page when a note slips from a section. Puzzled, he picks up the blank sheet of paper by its corner and turns to the page it was falling from.

'_Forget-me-not…?"_ intrigued, he reads the page.

"_Forget-me-not is a type of flower. In mythology it's said that god had been making all the flowers and giving them names and colors, and when he was about to declare he was finished the smallest bud shouted in his tiny voice up to the blue, blue sky;_

'_Forget me not, milord! Forget me not!'_

_And so God named the flower so. When he searched for a color to give it, there were only blues in every shade. But the flower was happy that God hadn't forgotten him, and was fine with the shades of blue. Other tales say a knight was searching for a flower to give to his love. When he found it, he accidently fell into the water and, since his armor was so heavy, he threw the flower to his lover and yelled 'Forget me not!' and drowned. _

_Lovers usually wear this flower as a sign of remembrance of lost love or long distance love, love that stretches the distance of time and earth. People have deep respect for those wearing forget-me-not."_

Irwin reads the section in his head, thinking. "What a sad, lovely flower." He comments, stroking his fingers over the drawing. The words beside it speak of its measurements and habitats. He was about to close the book when something catches his eye.

The paper he had assumed was blank actually had words on the other side. Elegant words filled the top half of the page. His brow furrows as he reads.

_There's one more myth, though. _

_Long ago, 2 angels were cursed. They were twins, 2 angels created from the same soul. God had cursed one, taken away their angelic powers and made them human, placing their powers into their twin. Before God did this, however, one of the twins knew what would come to pass. So they were on the run for God, on the run from their fate. When they reached the end of the world, one of the angels turned to the other and placed a small, simple blue flower into their hair, hugged them close, and whispered the eventual name of the flower into their ear before pushing them off of the edge of the world, knowing they would survive the fall and return. _

_When the angel returned, their twin was mortal, and couldn't remember who the angel was. God then explained to the angel;_

"_You are now cursed. One of you will remain human, forever, and the other will be angelic, controlling both of your powers. The human must never learn of their true self. And if they should learn of their true self, your fates will be cursed and you both will die, never again reborn. As I will it, so shall it be." And so it was. Forever. _

Irwin reads the last word and shrugs. _It's just a story anyway. _He closes the book with a thud and returns it to his private bookcase. He leaves his office after turning off the light, waving good bye to the night shift.

At the very bottom of the page, words appear in the form of dark shadows.

_Or was it?_

Lucius laughs.

* * *

(Annie's p.o.v., 2-4 years AF)

"How do you know when you're around your mate?" I ask. Reiner blinks at me.

"'How do you know when you're around your mate'?" he repeats my question, making me growl at his stupidity. "Yes, yes." I say irritated. His eyebrows rise. "Shut up, Reiner." I hiss at him. "Just tell me how you knew."

"No, I'm just surprised-oh," he answers whatever he was about to say. "That right…you were raised around humans, not…not people like us…" He stares at me. I gaze back at him with my cold eyes. And the air around us is still, silent. For a long while. A really long while.

"Tell me." I finally say. Demanding.

He stares at me for a few more seconds before reaching with his hand and placing it over my stomach. "Eves are the first ones who know." He says quietly. "It's like a spark, a little electricity in your stomach. The beginning is almost always the same, but from there it's different for every Eve." He moves his hand back and I replace it with my own, feeling my small stomach while eyeing his.

"How'd you know?" I ask. "How'd he find out?"

"Adam's don't know until their mate is in heat around them." Reiner smiles. "It makes it harder for us to reproduce so easily."

"Reproduce?" I say.

"Only mated pairs can have children. Only mates can bond. When we have sex, a mark appears on your skin. It could be a word or a shape or anything. It's a mark." Reiner explains. "People like us can only mate to our true mates; can only have children with the true one for us. It makes it more difficult for us to reproduce, and far more difficult to carry on the lineage. But that doesn't really matter, considering how long we've lived." He sticks his chin out in the direction of Ymir. "Ymir over there is the only one I know that was a titan first before human. I think she's of a different breed."

"She's not one of us?" I ask.

"Well, yes and no. I consider her to be one of us." Reiner stares into the fire, his eyes far away. His hand rubs absently on his stomach. I stare at his rotating hand. "You with a child, aren't you?"

He laughs. "You sound just like my mate when you say it like that." He tells me. I shrug. "I'm actually with two. Our kind gives birth to either a pair or triplets. It's supposed to increase our chances." He explains when confusion fills my eyes. "It's hell on earth to take care of them, but…" he trails off, looking down at his stomach wistfully.

I observe his posture. "It's worth it, isn't it?"

He nods. "Yeah." He says bashfully.

"Is there anything Eves' can do for each other?" I ask. "When one of them is pregnant?"

"Well, Eves' usually stick together in groups and take care of each other." Reiner frowns as he thinks. "when one Eve is pregnant, they give off hormones that make Adam's feel certain things- like, some unmated Adams will kill an Eve because they aren't heavy with _their_ child, and instead someone else's. It's actually the most common reaction."

"What do Eves do?" I ask, scooting closer at his words.

"They protect the child." He says simply. "Some rare cases say that Eves would allow that Eve to die just so they could take care of the children. But most commonly, they'll protect the pregnant Eve from other unmated Adam's while its mate rests or searches for food."

I scoot close, so close our knees brush against each other, and hesitantly I grab his hand.

'I'll protect you.' I say with my eyes. And somehow, I know he's got the message, because he squeezes my hand with his.

**[ **_**I'll protect you**_** ]**

.

.

.

.

_**Chapter 10, **_**episode 3**_**; (Within the Cold Soil, the Seed Knows Nothing of the World Above)**_

_A Dim Light in the Darkness of Despair- __**the Wait, part 4**_

.

.

.

.

_Hello? Hell…o?_

_._

_._

_Hey, where are you?_

_._

_._

_Wait for me._

_._

_._

_I'm coming-_

_._

_._

_To see you. _

_._

_._

_._

_._

(2-4 years AF)

"_I remember._

_Do you remember me?" _the girl sings from her spot on the rooftop. Her dark cloak covers her face from sight, a blonde tuff of bangs standing out. She faces the 104th training core class as they learn maneuvers and fighting styles. She hums the tune of the song as she watches one student in particular; a blonde girl with crystal glass blue eyes, cold and unforgiving and sharp.

Her eyes then stray to her charge.

Eren Yeager.

"_Light my fire and burn my tears…"_ she hums softly as she watches Eren fight a tall blonde male- a titan-shifter, an Adam. _"When the seasons change I'll awaken…for a winter I'll have been waiting…"_ the blonde flips him over his shoulder with ease, turning and conversing with the boy. Then she chuckles as Eren tries to do the same. The result was as expected; the blonde almost crushes him under his weight and Eren cries out 'mercy.'

_He's really grown up, huh…_she thinks as she watches him rise and dust himself off. It's a good thing the classes were spilt, otherwise the blonde would have to deal with a very, very pissed off black haired female. The girl hisses. _Mikasa never lets Eren do things by himself. I get that. But she really has to let him make his mistakes or he'll never learn. _

Humans often said the phrase 'Leave no stone unturned.' She guesses that the term applies to Eren. Even with an over-bearing friend/sister, he still seeks to experience everything life offered. He had the soul of an adventurer, and the determination of a soldier. His smaller blonde friend was the only match to his emotions.

Her eyes flicker to look at said blonde engage in a battle with a freckled covered face. An ash blonde observed from the side, sneering when Eren looks over at them.

Armin…the girl thinks, considering something. Armin Arlelt. Grandson of a descendant of the greatest lineage of investigators and philosophers, the greatest thinkers and masterminds the world had known until the walls were built. The girl smirks. Over a hundred years, and they still couldn't figure out how the walls were built.

_I guess you were right, Historia. _The girl thinks. She turns her gaze to look down at a small blonde girl smiling and laughing with older soldiers as she offered them water. _Your predecessor would've been pissed if she knew you two shared names. _The girl thinks towards her. _Well, she'd be pissed about you being so nice, but she'd be fine with the secrets you're withholding, Historia. _

The girl looks up to the sky and sings out the signal.

"_The forget-me-not flower has bloomed again…"_

* * *

(Levi's p.o.v., 8 months AF)

_How the fuck do you lose a 12 meter titan?!_ Levi screams as himself as he urges Para on. Seriously, what the fuck?!

He couldn't hear any footfalls, any screams, nothing- only silence. Was she-

No. he refused to believe that another person has died.

Lyn!

"Levi!" Hanji screams at him. He finally looks over his shoulder at her. "What?!" he pulls Para to a stop and she whinnies. "Stop trying to stop me!" he shouts at Hanji. Joker snorts as Hanji slows him to stand still before Para.

"I'm not trying to stop you, Levi." Hanji says calmly. "I'm trying to talk sense into you." Levi shakes his head. "I have all the sense I need. I need to find Lyn," he growls. "And I need to do it _now,_ whether you're with me or not."

Hanji is silent, the glare of the sun hiding her eyes. Levi hated when that happened. But he remained still, glaring, challenging Hanji to stop him.

"…Fine." Hanji says finally, slowly. "You go, but I'll stay here." Levi blinks at her. "But I want you to think; what good does it do you to learn if Lyn's alive or not?" His eyes widen. "You'll just go back to being the cold assassin again, killing innocents with things you consider justifiable."

"Our comrades dying because of their orders aren't justifiable!?" he argues. "Innocents dying so they can sit there on their high chairs and feast while others starve-"

"But with that argument, isn't Irwin one of those people too?" Hanji states over his voice. "Isn't he also one of the people you hate?"

…Irwin?

Irwin was one of them?

Commander Irwin, captain of the recon corps-

Was one of them?

…Irwin, who sat up late during the night signing every single last letter to the families of those who had died, who wrote back to kids who thought he was a hero, who brought flowers into the base because it refreshed the soldiers, who visited the graves of fallen heroes so often, who on Remembrance Day saluted within the block with the rest of the troops to prove he was no more of a man than they were.

Irwin was one of them?

One of the fancy rich nobles, the fat cats on the throne, gorging their hearts out as others suffered and begged, died in the cold winter nights and suffered at the hands of corrupt government officials while they cried and whined like babies when they didn't get their way. Irwin was one of those people.

Irwin.

_Irwin. _

"Isn't Irwin one of the noble you so despise? And yet, you follow him. Why? Why do you follow him?"

"I..." Levi trailed off.

"Because Lyn placed his trust in him." Hanji finishes for him. "She placed her trust in him, so you gave him a shot. Has he failed you? In the past 8 months…" Hanji watches him. He blinks as he thinks back. "Has he failed you, even once?" she says.

Silence.

"…No…" he says quietly.

"Then, don't you think…you should trust him to make the decision, should trust him, just like Lyn wanted you to do? Just like I want you to?"

He looks away, out into the fields, far away, trying to sort his thoughts out. And just as it starts to fall into order and he can see the sense in Hanji's words, Para nickers.

He doesn't expect another horse to reply.

He jerks around to see Takara riding up to them, saddle empty, traces of blood across its seat, and some is on her leg as she runs towards them, and oh god-

Levi falls off of his horse and vomits his stomachs contents, his body uncontrollable and hurting and in pain. He keeps throwing up even when there's nothing more, nothing left, and it's just his stomach tightening and releasing in agony and grief, unsure of how to react, and his saliva is all that's left to throw up. His body's on fire, he doesn't know what to do where to look what to _think-_

She's gone.

She's gone, he thinks, as he starts to vomit up his voice, nothing else left to throw up. He's retches his soul out and even then continues to retch and cough uncontrollably.

She was gone.

* * *

**It hurts.**

**It hurts so much. **

**It hurts too much.**

**I had always thought I was the cold stone- unfeeling, solid, lonely. Because I couldn't understand touch, could understand taste, I compared myself to the cold boulder. **

**The stone that could not feel.**

**The stone that could not touch.**

**The stone that could not move.**

**I was the stone. **

**I could not feel, emotionally or physically. **

**I was the stone.**

**I could not touch anything and feel it's silkiness, its roughness- I couldn't even understand the meaning of such words. **

**I was the stone. **

**I could not move.**

**But I am no longer the stone. **

**I could feel it in my body- I could feel the pain, the heartbreak, the new emotion I had never felt before, even when I was informed that my family was dead. I had looked at the older solider and said,**

"**What family?"**

**The only family I had ever known was in the prostitution house. The only family I knew was with Lyn and all the older women who actually gave a damn about what I thought or who I was. And later, with Levi and Petra.**

**You lied, Lyn. **

**You promised. And you lied.**

**It isn't what you said at all. We weren't the super-heroes that kids looked up to. We weren't super human. We were crumpling pieces of junk; scraps of something that used to be wonderful and now no one knows what to do with us. **

**The way they all said it, the way it was supposed to be- all the storybooks and legends, why did they lie to me?**

**I did it for you. **

**I did it for Petra. Just to see her laugh and smile again in her pretty way, tossing her hair over her shoulder. She had hair almost as pretty as yours, Lyn. Almost. **

**I like being with you, Lyn. **

**You're my friend, my older sister. **

**But that titan-where did he take you?**

**I waited for such a long time. **

**I waited; just like you said. **

**I trusted; just like you said. **

**I have faith. **

**But you never returned. **

**You never returned to me. **

**You never came back to me. **

**But I have to be strong. I can't cry for you. **

**Levi-**

**I have to be strong for him- that's what you would do. **

**You, who I thought of as Levi and mine's older sister. **

**You, who is gone now. **

**I have to be strong. **

**Even if I am like the youngest in our family, I have to be strong. **

**For Levi. **

**I can't cry for you just yet.**

**Soon, though. **

**When I can be alone. **

**Soon I can cry for you. **

**But for now-**

**For now-**

**I have to be strong. **

**Strong, for Levi's sake. **

**For Levi.**

**For Levi. **

* * *

_**a/n: sorry, but that's it for now. I probably won't be able to update for the next three weeks because I'll be away at this thing and they don't approve of Fanfiction/ archives of our own, so…. review!**_

_**Thank you for your reading *Bows***_


End file.
